on outbursts and buried unresolved issues.
i look back on photos and i realise how the smiles aren't the same anymore. each upturn holds so much constraint. it's not fun anymore. it's not funny.
it's constantly trying and seeming to get nowhere. not being good enough. it's giving up so much and seeing no results. not making it. let alone breaking it enough for any sense of recognition.
it's funny how it always breaks your heart and yet you keep on going back to it. at the expense of everything. my work, my baby, my loves.
and having so much belief, and hope and faith in others. just to watch it burn, burn, burn. being angry at everyone. at them, at us, but most of all myself for not being able to do more, reach more.
being angry at myself particularly for losing my coping mechanism for this.
just angry, angry, angry.
and maybe you're right, i ain't showing the results you need.
but the effort it takes just to stay and fight is overwhelming.
and if i have nothing left to contribute, it's about time i just..
leave.
and i'm trying to find the strength, but i can't remember how it tastes anymore.
it's constantly trying and seeming to get nowhere. not being good enough. it's giving up so much and seeing no results. not making it. let alone breaking it enough for any sense of recognition.
it's funny how it always breaks your heart and yet you keep on going back to it. at the expense of everything. my work, my baby, my loves.
and having so much belief, and hope and faith in others. just to watch it burn, burn, burn. being angry at everyone. at them, at us, but most of all myself for not being able to do more, reach more.
being angry at myself particularly for losing my coping mechanism for this.
just angry, angry, angry.
and maybe you're right, i ain't showing the results you need.
but the effort it takes just to stay and fight is overwhelming.
and if i have nothing left to contribute, it's about time i just..
leave.
and i'm trying to find the strength, but i can't remember how it tastes anymore.