(no subject)
I just thought this was noteworthy. I am sitting in the computer lab, in the midst of writing a research paper. I thought I saw Angela, so I looked up. Indeed, it was she. We made eye contact, and I could almost see her brain synapses firing to identify me. In a fraction of a second, she snapped her gaze toward the opposite direction and continued on her way. My polite smile slowly faded.
She still has my lab book.
Ahh, the withering intent!
I met her in my accounting class two years ago. I hated college courses. I hated being there--being here. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I hated that too. I thought Kendra loved me, and I just didn't care about anyone else.
I knew that that attitude was not healthy, and as the semester progressed, I slowly emerged from my shell. Angela happened to be sitting across from me, so I asked her if she knew where I could get a list of course requirements. She asked my major, and I briefly explained that I was considering nursing. She said, "I can tell you what you need for that! That's what I'm doing."
During the course of snowballing problems, brewing resentment, and detachment of compassion between Kendra and me, I found myself developing fantasies around Angela. She has beautiful blue eyes, and she was always a sad story to me. She had married a younger man, an immature kid close to my age, and she was enduring a divorce. Little did I know that my own "marital" problems were as severe as hers.
As it turned out, she was in my class the next year.
When I see Angela now, I realize that I am where I am because of her. If she hadn't spelled it out so clearly for me, I might have never learned of the college's nursing program. I have always been a dreamer, and I have considered following her to the university next year.
But her story has a happy ending. She is now reunited with her ex-husband and has a wedding planned. This is good. I always like happy endings. (But I know this isn't the end.)
In Love Without End Jesus compares intent in life to the care of flowers. He says intent begins as a seed. One does not have to focus constantly but must only water, feed, and cultivate it as needed over time. He also cautions that many intentions are weeds.
I look at this flower and realize that it cannot be saved.
Gramarye I've found.
I want my lab book back.
She still has my lab book.
Ahh, the withering intent!
I met her in my accounting class two years ago. I hated college courses. I hated being there--being here. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I hated that too. I thought Kendra loved me, and I just didn't care about anyone else.
I knew that that attitude was not healthy, and as the semester progressed, I slowly emerged from my shell. Angela happened to be sitting across from me, so I asked her if she knew where I could get a list of course requirements. She asked my major, and I briefly explained that I was considering nursing. She said, "I can tell you what you need for that! That's what I'm doing."
During the course of snowballing problems, brewing resentment, and detachment of compassion between Kendra and me, I found myself developing fantasies around Angela. She has beautiful blue eyes, and she was always a sad story to me. She had married a younger man, an immature kid close to my age, and she was enduring a divorce. Little did I know that my own "marital" problems were as severe as hers.
As it turned out, she was in my class the next year.
When I see Angela now, I realize that I am where I am because of her. If she hadn't spelled it out so clearly for me, I might have never learned of the college's nursing program. I have always been a dreamer, and I have considered following her to the university next year.
But her story has a happy ending. She is now reunited with her ex-husband and has a wedding planned. This is good. I always like happy endings. (But I know this isn't the end.)
In Love Without End Jesus compares intent in life to the care of flowers. He says intent begins as a seed. One does not have to focus constantly but must only water, feed, and cultivate it as needed over time. He also cautions that many intentions are weeds.
I look at this flower and realize that it cannot be saved.
Gramarye I've found.
I want my lab book back.