(no subject)
I have an exam Friday, and I cannot think anymore. I am glad that I was required to take the Trends and Issues course. At least it has me thinking about the future, planting seeds, cultivating plans.
I think that I want to room with my sister. I think I want a baccalaureate degree. I think I want to put my mother through nursing school. I think I want to room with my uncle and that I will not appreciate his rules. I know I want to move back to Nashville.
The other night my mom was having technical difficulties with the computer. While I rolled my eyes at the user error, I felt for her. My dad was being an asshole. Mom addressed me, and I responded with further antagonization (antagonism?). I realized that I had become exactly like my dad who I so despised. While he gave my mother vague and unhelpful answers, I remembered how he had once accused me of having a problem with being specific.
Later, I overheard his apology to my mom. I don't think I had ever heard him apologize before.
I have to go study again. I cannot think in my parents' house. Correction--I cannot think in my house--meaning any house in which I have taken up residence.
Mrs. Fox walks by, and I am met with a brief emotional uplift. I realize that I have a schoolboy crush on Mrs. Fox. She is a Fox, but her last name is not hers. She belongs to another.
Another who does not want her anymore.
Just as I am not wanted anymore by the one who used to possess my heart.
Why does Jackie remind me of Kendra? Through much effort, I have extinguished my crush on her. Why are all the best women already married?
Today's biggest achievement: attending all classes and still managing to find the energy to study some more.
Today's biggest regret: I have drawn a blank. The day has not yet ended.
Heheheh. This belongs as a comment on a previous entry, but the college's computer network is running slowly. I role-played on WW online last night and chuckled at another player's post. My brother asked, "What? Happy, sad, strawberry?"
I think that I want to room with my sister. I think I want a baccalaureate degree. I think I want to put my mother through nursing school. I think I want to room with my uncle and that I will not appreciate his rules. I know I want to move back to Nashville.
The other night my mom was having technical difficulties with the computer. While I rolled my eyes at the user error, I felt for her. My dad was being an asshole. Mom addressed me, and I responded with further antagonization (antagonism?). I realized that I had become exactly like my dad who I so despised. While he gave my mother vague and unhelpful answers, I remembered how he had once accused me of having a problem with being specific.
Later, I overheard his apology to my mom. I don't think I had ever heard him apologize before.
I have to go study again. I cannot think in my parents' house. Correction--I cannot think in my house--meaning any house in which I have taken up residence.
Mrs. Fox walks by, and I am met with a brief emotional uplift. I realize that I have a schoolboy crush on Mrs. Fox. She is a Fox, but her last name is not hers. She belongs to another.
Another who does not want her anymore.
Just as I am not wanted anymore by the one who used to possess my heart.
Why does Jackie remind me of Kendra? Through much effort, I have extinguished my crush on her. Why are all the best women already married?
Today's biggest achievement: attending all classes and still managing to find the energy to study some more.
Today's biggest regret: I have drawn a blank. The day has not yet ended.
Heheheh. This belongs as a comment on a previous entry, but the college's computer network is running slowly. I role-played on WW online last night and chuckled at another player's post. My brother asked, "What? Happy, sad, strawberry?"