(no subject)

[was_no_miracle]

Not fair. Not fair not fair not fair. Dad always let him watch when he was working, why wouldn't Meiko? She hadn't even told him why, and he still couldn't speak well enough to ask. The whole thing was stupid and frustrating, and it kind of made him want to punch something.

...he could always go see dad instead, but there was a difference between watching him when he was busy and bothering him. Going over there just to grumble at him would definitely be bothering, and then dad would probably just get all distracted and worried about him until Kaito could figure out a good way to tell him why he was grumbling.

Well, he couldn't punch things, and he couldn't go see dad, so that left only one thing to do. As quietly as he could, he opened the door to his room and stuck his head out. He wanted to make sure none of the assistants were around- he didn't think there would be any, they'd all be helping dad and Meiko out, but better safe than sorry. Fortunately, he was right and the coast was clear, so he eased the door shut again and flopped onto his bed before reaching beneath his pillow and tugging out the white coat.

It was one of dad's- it made the same quiet swishing noises when it moved, and the sounds it made when he rubbed it between his fingers were the same, too. He still felt kind of bad about taking it - it made people sad if you took things that belonged to them without asking, Meiko and dad had both told him that - but he couldn't ask, and he'd had it for a while now and dad still hadn't noticed. That meant he wasn't using it, right? So it was okay.

It wasn't dad, but if he closed his eyes and listened to it he could fill in all the other missing bits in his head and pretend it was, and that made him feel better.

The alarm went off right as Len was starting to fix some code.

He reached over to turn it off, glaring at it irritably. In theory it had been a pretty good idea of Meiko's - it saved her having to personally drag Len out for meals, and it kept Len on some kind of a schedule - but why did the stupid thing go off every time he was really getting into a task?

He contemplated ignoring it and just getting back to work on this one thing before lunch, but... he sighed. He knew how that would end. The last time he'd done that, it had been hours later by the time he realized he still hadn't eaten, and Meiko had all but dragged him out by his ear. So he scribbled a reminder for himself of what he'd been about to do, and got up to go to the kitchen.

Meiko would probably already be there, he thought. She was much better about this sort of thing than he was. And Kaito...

...Actually, would Kaito be there? He was only a few months old, still, and he wasn't that great at keeping track of time yet.

Probably someone would remind him if he was missed at lunch, but why wait? Len made a detour to Kaito's room and stuck his head in.

"Hey, Kaito, it's time for--"

He stopped.

What was that Kaito was holding...?

The coat had helped him calm down a little bit too well. Sometime after pulling it out he'd halfway fallen asleep, and as a result he hadn't heard Len coming at all. The sound of the door opening woke him back up, though, and he blinked muzzily and smiled when dad poked his head in.

...then he frowned. Dad had been talking, why had he stopped? Was something wrong? He blinked again and tracked his gaze down to...

-the stolen coat! He was still holding it-

Behind his back went the coat, and on went his best "innocent" face. Maybe if he didn't make too big of a deal out of it dad wouldn't, either...?

"...Is that a labcoat?" Len asked, bemused. "I thought I was missing one..."

He was too baffled to be angry. Of course Kaito shouldn't be stealing things, and there'd have to be a talk about that later, but... a labcoat? Really? And he was sleeping with it like a teddy bear?

...orrrrr maybe not. Busted. And it sounded like dad had noticed that the coat was missing. He grimaced, embarassed, and bowed his head in apology before pulling it back out and tentatively offering it to Len. He didn't want to give it back - he really didn't want to give it back - but he didn't want dad to be angry at him, either.

Len laughed a little - what else could you do, really? - and shook his head. "It's all right," he said, smiling in fond confusion. "I don't know what the fascination is, but if you want it that much, keep it. I've got plenty."

Kaito still wasn't speaking, so the answer would probably take some guesswork, but he had to ask. "So, why did you take it, anyway?"

He opened his mouth, startled, then shut it again and scowled, whining faintly in the back of his throat. That wasn't fair, how was he supposed to answer? Did he even want to answer, if he could? It was kind of embarassing. But... dad was letting him keep it, even though he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. If dad wanted to know, he'd try to tell him.

He hesitated for a moment, before lifting one arm and making a little beckoning motion. Come here.

Len felt a small pang of remorse. It was obvious that Kaito was frustrated with not being able to talk yet - maybe he shouldn't have asked.

But Kaito seemed willing to try and answer, so Len went and sat down by the bed as directed.

Now that he actually had dad nearby, he didn't know where to start. Physical things... those were easy, as long as he had an example of it he could use or could mime it well enough. But abstracts were hard. How could he say "I took it to remind myself of you" when he couldn't say anything at all?

Start small, he told himself. If he got bogged down in the details of what he was trying to communicate, he wouldn't be able to get anything across. So... the first thing he needed to do was...

Carefully, he held the labcoat up, so that it was touching against the one Len was wearing. A couple of tugs, and then he had the sleeves of his and dad's lined up; he held them together for a moment, and then brushed his fingers across each.

They're the same.

Charades with Kaito were always an adventure. Meiko and Leon were much better at discerning his meaning from abstract gestures than Len was, but he could usually get the gist, at least.

He held patiently still, watching as Kaito indicated the sameness of the two coats, and nodded uncertainly - he understood that far, at least, but he wasn't sure what Kaito was getting at.

Thinking about it, though... Kaito was always watching over his shoulder while he worked, wasn't he? It was a terribly endearing habit of his. And Len always wore a labcoat, even when he was just programming... and Kaito had taken a labcoat for himself...

"...Did you want to be like me?" Len guessed, charmed.

Rrrrrrrgh. Close, but not quite. He shook his head, frustrated... and then cut himself off, waving his hands a little. It wasn't that he didn't want to be like dad! Dad was a good person, who wouldn't want to be like him? He just... hadn't thought about it very much, that was all.

Okay, that apparently wasn't it. Len rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I guess I'm still not that good at this," he said sheepishly. He thought for a moment about calling Meiko or Leon in, but dismissed the idea immediately. No, this was private.

He looked down at his coat again, trying to figure out what Kaito was getting at. It wasn't emulation, so then...

Hold on. Kaito had been sleeping with the coat, as if it was a security blanket. And it was one of Len's...

"...You were lonely?" he tried.

Hearing him say it outright like that was embarassing. Even if he was only a couple of months old, he wasn't a little kid; he didn't even look like one. But... it was true. He didn't like being left alone; there was always this stupid worry of what if they weren't coming back? It was easier to laugh at it during the day, when he could always hear people and voices; but at night, when everyone but dad and Meiko were gone and the halls were all quiet...

Slowly, reluctantly, he nodded.

It shouldn't have surprised him, it really shouldn't. Thinking about it, it only made sense. Although relatively much older than a human child of his chronological age, Kaito was still very young. It hadn't even been that long ago that he was sneaking into Len's room at night and crawling into his bed.

The only mystery was why Len hadn't guessed it sooner.

"All right," he said gently, laying a hand on Kaito's shoulder. "You should definitely keep the labcoat, then, if it helps. Is there anything else we could do to help you feel less lonely?"

He huffed, quietly, and then wiggled under Len's arm so he could lean against him comfortably. Less lonely... the first thing he could think of was "let me sleep in your room again," but even if that would be better, he didn't really want to do that. It was... it had been different when he was younger, but if he did it now it would feel too much like imposing, and he probably wouldn't be able to sleep because of it. So that left... something else. He scowled and shifted closer, shutting his eyes in concentration.

And... that was kind of a mistake, because now he was falling asleep again. He really needed to stop doing that. But dad was warm, and pressed close like that he could hear his breathing and the sound of his heartbeat...

-oh! Oh, that was it! He had taken the coat because it sounded like dad. He didn't feel as lonely during the day because he could always hear other people. Part of the reason he had liked sleeping in dad's room was because he could hear him. So... something that would let him hear that he wasn't alone, even at night?

...well, he had an idea of what he wanted. Now for the hard part: telling dad. He bit his lip, thinking, and then pulled away a little to tug on Len's coat.

Len laughed a little as Kaito squirmed under his arm, and squeezed him lightly. He wondered for a moment if that was Kaito's answer, but when he stayed quiet for a while, starting to relax against Len's side, that didn't seem very likely.

The tug on his coat came as a surprise, and he looked over at Kaito, ready to "listen".

Sounds. He needed to tell dad that it was sounds. And he still hadn't really given a complete explanation for taking the coat, either, so... both at once?

It took a little bit of shifting to snag the coat from where he was curled up against dad, but he managed it. He waved "his" coat, trying to make as much noise with it as he could, before repeating it with the edge of the one Len was wearing. Then, for good measure, he cupped one of his hands around his ear in a "listening" gesture.

Did I do that right? he wondered, and looked over at Len.

Len's skill (or lack thereof) at charades notwithstanding, that had actually been surprisingly easy. At least, Len hoped it had been easy, and he wasn't misunderstanding again.

"...It's the sound, right? Is that it?" He watched Kaito's face for signs of confirmation or denial. "The two coats sound the same, so..."

He nodded, beaming. He had done it, and dad had gotten what he was trying to say! Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as he thought.

So, the next thing... he pointed to the door, and then closed and opened that hand several times in a "talking" motion, before cupping it back around his ear.

Build on what you already know, that was the trick. So, Kaito was lonely, and had taken one of Len's labcoats because it sounded like Len. So the next logical step, following Kaito's gestures, was...

"Voices. You want to hear our voices?" Not much could be more reassuring than that to a child who was afraid of being alone.

That hadn't been quite what he was trying to "say," but it was close enough that he didn't really mind- it was true, he did. He nodded and buried his face back in Len's coat.

Len sat back, thinking. Kaito needed something to feel less lonely, and he focused on sounds... there was a workable answer somewhere in that data, he just had to find it.

"All right," he said, gazing contemplatively at the ceiling. "I'm going to throw some ideas out, let me know if you like any of them...

"We could get a tape recorder, record the sounds of the lab for a day and then you could play it back at night... two-way intercom between your room and mine so you can hear me - that might be a good idea anyway, that way I could hear if you need help... could just leave a TV or radio on..."

He listened, eyes widening a bit. Those were all good ideas- they were all really good ideas! He wouldn't have been able to think of anything like that on his own, not without spending a lot of time thinking. But then, he shouldn't have been suprised. Of course dad would have good ideas! Dad had thought of making him, after all, and he knew he was special.

-but thinking about how smart dad was wasn't going to get anything fixed. Better think about Dad's ideas instead.

The more he thought about it, the better the first two sounded. Hearing everybody talking would help a lot, and the intercom... knowing that dad would be able to hear him if something bad happened would help too, even if he knew that it wasn't very likely. Part of him wanted the radio (or even better, a TV!) too, but... well, his problem involved not being able to sleep, and he had a feeling he'd end up staying up to listen or watch. Maybe a "normal" kid would like that, but he was tired of being tired. ...of course, that didn't mean he couldn't ask for a TV to watch when he wasn't trying to sleep. He'd try and remember to do that later.

He tugged on Len's coat again, before holding up one finger, and then two, nodding both times.

It was clear he'd said something good, from the way Kaito's face lit up as he spoke. He smiled when Kaito tugged on his sleeve and conveyed his answer.

"You like those two, huh?" he said, and brought his hand up to ruffle Kaito's hair affectionately. "All right - I'll see what I can do. The recording might have to be done later, but we can probably get the intercom tonight or tomorrow..."

He couldn't help but be a little amused at the thought. Only this family would get a baby monitor so that the child could hear the parents...