So damn tired
Just in case you were wondering, I'm still alive.
The last six months-ish have been somewhat revealing.
For the few of you who have been around since the beginning, the swings and roundabouts of depression, the constant illnesses, and exhaustion, with no real explanation. The ups and downs, and never seeing any real, permanent change... it's enough to get a boy down.
Well, about six months ago, I was doing double duty with my doctor and shrink (I've been seeing both regularly). My doctor asked me a simple question "Do you snore?"
"Yeah, like a truck."
Doctor: "Do you know if you stop breathing while you sleep?"
I phoned my wife and asked
Sonset: "Yes, you do."
Well, hasn't that set a series of events in motion?
I've since seen two specialists, discovered that having tonsils that are literally the size of golfballs - and that's when I'm not sick - is a *bad* thing, and I've had a sleep study.
The sleep study was fascinating, if that's the correct word for the worst night of sleep I've ever had, hooked up to enough cables to feel like a borg.
Unofficially, the diagnosis is sleep apnea. I will officially find out from the specialist on the 15th of next month. He indicated when he had a camera threaded through my nose into my throat that since my tonsils *close my throat off* when I sleep, they're coming out. But I had to have the sleep study to justify the operation.
The doctor and shrink are now both working on the theory that my constant illnesses, my inability to commence regular exercise without getting sick within a few weeks, and... my depression, are most likely the result of long term sleep deprivation caused by the sleep apnea.
I dread going to bed. Some mornings I wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. The last few months, things have gotten worse - to the point that I'm starting to nod off at work most days.
Even so, possibly for the first time in my adult life, I have real, solid answers, and solutions to these issues that have plagued me for so long. Maybe, within a few short months, I'll be off this damned merry-go-round.
The last six months-ish have been somewhat revealing.
For the few of you who have been around since the beginning, the swings and roundabouts of depression, the constant illnesses, and exhaustion, with no real explanation. The ups and downs, and never seeing any real, permanent change... it's enough to get a boy down.
Well, about six months ago, I was doing double duty with my doctor and shrink (I've been seeing both regularly). My doctor asked me a simple question "Do you snore?"
"Yeah, like a truck."
Doctor: "Do you know if you stop breathing while you sleep?"
I phoned my wife and asked
Sonset: "Yes, you do."
Well, hasn't that set a series of events in motion?
I've since seen two specialists, discovered that having tonsils that are literally the size of golfballs - and that's when I'm not sick - is a *bad* thing, and I've had a sleep study.
The sleep study was fascinating, if that's the correct word for the worst night of sleep I've ever had, hooked up to enough cables to feel like a borg.
Unofficially, the diagnosis is sleep apnea. I will officially find out from the specialist on the 15th of next month. He indicated when he had a camera threaded through my nose into my throat that since my tonsils *close my throat off* when I sleep, they're coming out. But I had to have the sleep study to justify the operation.
The doctor and shrink are now both working on the theory that my constant illnesses, my inability to commence regular exercise without getting sick within a few weeks, and... my depression, are most likely the result of long term sleep deprivation caused by the sleep apnea.
I dread going to bed. Some mornings I wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. The last few months, things have gotten worse - to the point that I'm starting to nod off at work most days.
Even so, possibly for the first time in my adult life, I have real, solid answers, and solutions to these issues that have plagued me for so long. Maybe, within a few short months, I'll be off this damned merry-go-round.