(no subject)
haven't felt alone with my thoughts in a long time
will i ever feel like my skin is my own?
maybe i've been blue so long
i don't even know how to be happy
is this it? is this happy?
putting down the de/fences made me feel lighter for a while
i like believing that better things will come
but i'm not a stupid or as happy as i pretend to be
i am just as fucked up as before, only with a couple more years tempering my bite
and maybe someone to love me and filling the gaps
was i more real before or now?
being either person seems like a facade
being queer but being in a straight relationship also seems like a facade
i wish i'd had more time to be okay with myself and more outwardly gay
i just want to present as the person that i am inside
femme problems
took me so long to realize that it's okay to be happy
but the happy person i was
doesn't seem too much like the person i am now
will i ever feel like my skin is my own?
maybe i've been blue so long
i don't even know how to be happy
is this it? is this happy?
putting down the de/fences made me feel lighter for a while
i like believing that better things will come
but i'm not a stupid or as happy as i pretend to be
i am just as fucked up as before, only with a couple more years tempering my bite
and maybe someone to love me and filling the gaps
was i more real before or now?
being either person seems like a facade
being queer but being in a straight relationship also seems like a facade
i wish i'd had more time to be okay with myself and more outwardly gay
i just want to present as the person that i am inside
femme problems
took me so long to realize that it's okay to be happy
but the happy person i was
doesn't seem too much like the person i am now