Talking Muse 2C - Hurt
There is nothing like the pain of losing your child and the betrayal of your best friend. When Solon died, it felt as if my soul had been ripped from my body, and at the time perhaps it had. All I thought about was his cold body lying in my arms and the knowledge that Gabrielle's betrayal had caused it. It never entered my thoughts that she was protecting her own daughter, even if the daughter was a vessel of evil, all I knew was that Solon was dead and Gabrielle was responsible for it. If she'd only listened to me in Britannia, this could have been avoided. I conveniently lost sight of the fact that if I had only stopped my vengeance on Caesar, Gabrielle would never have been in Dahak's hands to begin with.
That's what soul deep pain does though. It clouds your thinking and only lets you focus on what caused the pain to begin with. If not for Solon, I would have killed Gabrielle and that is something I never could have lived with. He knew we needed a place to face our 'demons', so he created Illusia. Facing our hatred and fears, allowed us to work through the pain of betrayal and loss.
I will always have the soul deep hurt of outliving a child, but I no longer have the hatred and the anger that began the journey.
Muse: Xena
Fandom: Xena: Warrior Princess
Word Count: 235
That's what soul deep pain does though. It clouds your thinking and only lets you focus on what caused the pain to begin with. If not for Solon, I would have killed Gabrielle and that is something I never could have lived with. He knew we needed a place to face our 'demons', so he created Illusia. Facing our hatred and fears, allowed us to work through the pain of betrayal and loss.
I will always have the soul deep hurt of outliving a child, but I no longer have the hatred and the anger that began the journey.
Muse: Xena
Fandom: Xena: Warrior Princess
Word Count: 235