Hi there sunshine, the earth says hello
Ok i've never been good at this whole journal thing which i know i've said before but i do like going back to read whats happened to me in the past and remember.. the good and the bad. So no promises but i think i'd really like to do this again, for me... with that here's somthing i was thinking about like a week ago or more.
I have to start off by saying this in no way is a negative thing, its just observational and contemplative, the whole "negative aspect" is so over rated, this is all me but completely seperated by confusion or raw emotions its just things we go through and see in this little story we call "life."
"Are you living in the past or the future?"
I went to this local art show recently. Really low key in someone's house kind of art show and this was one of the questions on this particular painting and it seemed to catch my eye. I mean its such a simple question but i can't seem to get it out of my head.
I have recently attributed this to the fact that the "present" was no where mentioned in this question, as if it isn't even an option, which got me
thinking...'we really don't live in the present most of the time, we are either worrying about the past or living for the future we hope to have, that the present can completely pass us by. And i know evenyone is probably saying duh! but if so than you miss the point. I'm saying that even the people that claim to live life to the fullest of the now, or the "moment" are also in this same dilema. I have so many friends that think they are living life like tomorrow will never come and that yesterday doesn't mean a thing but thats (sorry to say) COMPLETE BULL! I mean its those same people that constently look back to the past either to regret, to cry, to compare, to do whatever. And its those same people that do look to the future whether they admit it or not, becuase they are looking for what we all are looking for, something to get us through the next day, the next month, the next year and if they deny it than they are lying to themselves more than they lie to us. Don't get me wrong i think a person's past is what makes them who they are, and their future goals is what makes them go on, but my generation and those that are around it have gotten too lost in the times that really just don't exist. They DON'T REALLY EXIST! I mean i have known so many people that in high school accussed me of not living life in the moment, and that i was always too far ahead of myself that i let things pass by, but i have never meet one SINGLE person that doesn't live in the past or the future. Their claims and critisims are all lost upon me because even they don't live the life they seek.
So what does it come down to in the end? Is their nothing but past or future for us? NO, i refuse to think that and i refuse to live a hypocritical life! I've always treasured moments like no one i know and to those who knew me they might claim otherwise or agree, but the truth is that i've heard ever sob story, ever furture goal, and ever time i realize that each moment we waste on these things we can't change is one more moment lost.
I know everyone probably is thinking that "she's just saying this cuse she's in college, or she's overreacting, or she's on p.m.s., or she's mad about something or etc..etc.." and that's bull crap too. Truthfully this is not an anger rant, this is written in the calmest and clearest of moods and doesn't have to be dumbed down to the level of emotions. This is a philosphical topic so try to not degrade it with "excuses." Its sad that people use the excuse that just because your in college that all of a sudden the person you were is going to completely change. Like we have no basis to keep us... us?, or that we dislike ourselves SO much that when we finally have the chance to "miraclously alter ourselves to someone we do approve of" we jump at it like raveging dogs!? I mean we are our biggest critics. The same excuse is used for when people do really stupid things and they either regret it or are judged by it. "oh its cuse i was in college," ok I GET IT!, your were or are in college, its a time to find yourself, and thats AWESOME, its a time to really know you, thats GREAT!, BUT OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DO. COLLEGE IS NOT THE EXCUSE FOR LIFE! AND IT NEVER WILL BE! Who do you have to impress?
Seriously, this is me, this is who i've always been, i may not write it all down, but this is how the world really is, nothings really changed. Either its you or your perception, the world is not "out to get us" or "everyone doesn't hate you." I mean get over your insecurities and grow the freak up. Everyone has moments that suck, everyone has moments that make them weak, cry, want to do something to drastically change reality. You know what all that feeling bad really means? Do you? THAT YOUR FUCKING HUMAN! That unlike any other creature in this entire planet you feel like no other, and thats what makes you BEAUTIFUL! "YOUR FALL FROM GRACE HAS BEEN THE FALL OF A GENERATION!"
So this is not a message telling people to change, or to do anything really, its just an aspect of life that i just happen to have the time to write about, now, here, in the PRESENT. Agree with it, or not it really doesn't matter. Like i said it was not written out of anger or judgment or even with one person in mind, it was written for me to think think about life and maybe for anyone who reads this to analyze the life thats being lead. All that really matters is, How are you living (and be truthful to yourself) your life, past or future? because right now i just don't see the present, but I for one am going on a mission, quest, venture, what have you, to find it. Who's coming with me?
I have to start off by saying this in no way is a negative thing, its just observational and contemplative, the whole "negative aspect" is so over rated, this is all me but completely seperated by confusion or raw emotions its just things we go through and see in this little story we call "life."
"Are you living in the past or the future?"
I went to this local art show recently. Really low key in someone's house kind of art show and this was one of the questions on this particular painting and it seemed to catch my eye. I mean its such a simple question but i can't seem to get it out of my head.
I have recently attributed this to the fact that the "present" was no where mentioned in this question, as if it isn't even an option, which got me
thinking...'we really don't live in the present most of the time, we are either worrying about the past or living for the future we hope to have, that the present can completely pass us by. And i know evenyone is probably saying duh! but if so than you miss the point. I'm saying that even the people that claim to live life to the fullest of the now, or the "moment" are also in this same dilema. I have so many friends that think they are living life like tomorrow will never come and that yesterday doesn't mean a thing but thats (sorry to say) COMPLETE BULL! I mean its those same people that constently look back to the past either to regret, to cry, to compare, to do whatever. And its those same people that do look to the future whether they admit it or not, becuase they are looking for what we all are looking for, something to get us through the next day, the next month, the next year and if they deny it than they are lying to themselves more than they lie to us. Don't get me wrong i think a person's past is what makes them who they are, and their future goals is what makes them go on, but my generation and those that are around it have gotten too lost in the times that really just don't exist. They DON'T REALLY EXIST! I mean i have known so many people that in high school accussed me of not living life in the moment, and that i was always too far ahead of myself that i let things pass by, but i have never meet one SINGLE person that doesn't live in the past or the future. Their claims and critisims are all lost upon me because even they don't live the life they seek.
So what does it come down to in the end? Is their nothing but past or future for us? NO, i refuse to think that and i refuse to live a hypocritical life! I've always treasured moments like no one i know and to those who knew me they might claim otherwise or agree, but the truth is that i've heard ever sob story, ever furture goal, and ever time i realize that each moment we waste on these things we can't change is one more moment lost.
I know everyone probably is thinking that "she's just saying this cuse she's in college, or she's overreacting, or she's on p.m.s., or she's mad about something or etc..etc.." and that's bull crap too. Truthfully this is not an anger rant, this is written in the calmest and clearest of moods and doesn't have to be dumbed down to the level of emotions. This is a philosphical topic so try to not degrade it with "excuses." Its sad that people use the excuse that just because your in college that all of a sudden the person you were is going to completely change. Like we have no basis to keep us... us?, or that we dislike ourselves SO much that when we finally have the chance to "miraclously alter ourselves to someone we do approve of" we jump at it like raveging dogs!? I mean we are our biggest critics. The same excuse is used for when people do really stupid things and they either regret it or are judged by it. "oh its cuse i was in college," ok I GET IT!, your were or are in college, its a time to find yourself, and thats AWESOME, its a time to really know you, thats GREAT!, BUT OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DO. COLLEGE IS NOT THE EXCUSE FOR LIFE! AND IT NEVER WILL BE! Who do you have to impress?
Seriously, this is me, this is who i've always been, i may not write it all down, but this is how the world really is, nothings really changed. Either its you or your perception, the world is not "out to get us" or "everyone doesn't hate you." I mean get over your insecurities and grow the freak up. Everyone has moments that suck, everyone has moments that make them weak, cry, want to do something to drastically change reality. You know what all that feeling bad really means? Do you? THAT YOUR FUCKING HUMAN! That unlike any other creature in this entire planet you feel like no other, and thats what makes you BEAUTIFUL! "YOUR FALL FROM GRACE HAS BEEN THE FALL OF A GENERATION!"
So this is not a message telling people to change, or to do anything really, its just an aspect of life that i just happen to have the time to write about, now, here, in the PRESENT. Agree with it, or not it really doesn't matter. Like i said it was not written out of anger or judgment or even with one person in mind, it was written for me to think think about life and maybe for anyone who reads this to analyze the life thats being lead. All that really matters is, How are you living (and be truthful to yourself) your life, past or future? because right now i just don't see the present, but I for one am going on a mission, quest, venture, what have you, to find it. Who's coming with me?