Figures
Man i was in such a good mood, i was going to write about prom and mother's day and getting in touch with old good friends, but alas today was just not my day. Lets just say my dad is a huge jerk! I mean i know that sounds horrible but if you knew what he did to me you, lol still probably not understand, lets just say he made me cry for the last time. I officially lost any respect for that man. He broke my heart, and its not just from one little thing but just its just a long feeling coming. I wish i could be the loving daughter with the loving father that most people seem to have, but apparently i can't have that, truthfully i never had that with him. He's disappointed me over and over again, i'm such a fool to try to believe him every time. I know that no one's perfect and there is no such thing as the perfect relatioship and that some people have it way worse and that i have no reason to complain knowing that but it still hurts. I swear i didn't want to write anything bad i really just wanted to be my usual optimistic self, happy and alive, but when my heart breaks there is no sunshine, at least not for tonight. No worries, i won't let this get me down, he won't ruin my life, i just had to write this down, i had to pour all this out cause who knows how it would have come out otherwise. Truthfully it doesn't make me feel any better but i hope it will later. I'll be able to look back and just laugh, so i tell myself, but tomorrow is a new day, a new adventure and hopefully a new way to rebuild the heart broken so many times, sometimes i feel the pieces are starting to not be found and that every time i lose more and more of myself,lol, no wonder i have such bad luck with men and trust and people in general. Did you know that supposedly men fall for women that remind them of their mothers and women fall for guys that remind them of their dad, psychologically anyways, if thats so then i'm sckewed. Man that really sucks. I'll never do that, i won't cause then i'll just be doing it to myself. Anyways...positive thoughts,lol, ponies...bunnies(that don't make noise)....dragons...shakespeare....love...ok thats a bit better.
Back to good things...breathe...ok, well i am strong enough to get over this, its not that bad, i can do this. Ok i'm good, or at least i will be.
well hopefully when i feel better i'll be able to write about prom and the great mothers day and soo on, but for now i must heal.
Man i'm sound like such a drama queen, lol, i have to stop doing this, well next time it'll be better.
Night world i hope you'll be kind tomorrow. End with a quote, "When I was a child, i played as a child, i thought as a child, but when I became a woman i had to put away chidish things." I only half agree with this quote, i'll forever be a child at heart but be an adult when need be.
Back to good things...breathe...ok, well i am strong enough to get over this, its not that bad, i can do this. Ok i'm good, or at least i will be.
well hopefully when i feel better i'll be able to write about prom and the great mothers day and soo on, but for now i must heal.
Man i'm sound like such a drama queen, lol, i have to stop doing this, well next time it'll be better.
Night world i hope you'll be kind tomorrow. End with a quote, "When I was a child, i played as a child, i thought as a child, but when I became a woman i had to put away chidish things." I only half agree with this quote, i'll forever be a child at heart but be an adult when need be.