(no subject)
Just to start this off, I LOVE how everyone is posting semi-regularly and there is pretty much a new entry for me to read from somebody every time I sign on. I like it. I keeps me in touch with everyone's lives. I don't really see many of you face to face anymore and this is definately a different kind of connection then facebook or myspace. It's more personal and more indepth. Please keep posting, it's nice to hear from everyone.
Anyways, I'm home. I got my grades back yesterday and they were all really good. So I am happy that I put in as much work as I did. I'm dying to see people, but I just run into random people in stores, like Dustin. So hopefully after Christmas is over I will get some quality time with my friends. I have been running around doing some Christmas shopping. I miss buying gifts for a million friends and my secret sister and everybody. It is sad to have a little list.
Home is weird now that I've been away so long. It's not the same. I can remember seeing everybody in school on the last day before break and saying "See you next year" because we were cool dorks like that. And I remember spending the break in somebody's car headed off to a mall or to Dustin's house to play pool. We'd compare our favorite presents at practice the day after Christmas and we would laugh about our memories together and apart. But now I'm home and no one has called to spend a night in the truth tent. And I haven't called because I'm scared it will never be the same again. I haven't stepped foot in the gym in a long while, and I'm afraid that the room won't smell the same and the mats won't seem as inviting. I am experiencing life like I'm looking through the window in front of the big department store and I'm just out in the cold wishing for what's inside. I don't like it. But maybe this is life. Will there ever be magic again? Will it all ever seem too good to be true?
To X: I got the letter today and I wanted to call you. I wanted you to be proud of me and tell me that you missed me. But you don't miss me and you don't care. Maybe this is what growing up means. Maybe it means you can't love me any more and I have to stand on my own. It hurts. I sent a Christmas card, but you never told me you got it. Did you throw it out? Did you think of me when you opened it and remember? No matter what has happened, you are still my family. And family sticks together. Please don't leave me. But I think you already have.
Random note to Court: Phone calls? Plans? What do you need help with to figure it all out chica. Let me know. I'm dying to get everybody together.