A Little Sunshine
At what point do you say, "I'd give it all just for that?" Where do you draw the line between doing something to spare someones feelings and doing something to uplift your own situation? Not everyone can be happy. Life is a ratrace in which the final prize is satisfaction. Its not money or a job, nor is it a family. Its being able to look back and say, "I lived how I wanted." Can you do that? Sometimes people need to be hurt. You have to do something against a person you care about to benefit yourself.
Since when did society decide that you have to live to their standards? Who made up the rules. Who said that you had to grow up, go to school, get an office job and have a family? Im not saying that its wrong to have such things, but you should only strive for what satisfies you. Don't work your ass off to reach a goal that was preset for you by a person that didn't know you, nor your personality or potential. Life is short. Short as hell. Yeah, its a very common saying. You can't go through a mortality conversation without somebody dropping the overused phrase. Think about it though. Millions of years have passed throughout the existence of life. How many people are remembered? How many do you think died happy? Now Im not saying that you have to be famous to live a good life. Im just saying that we arent here long enough to fret about things that will mean nothing in the long run. The world is dying. Again, another overused topic. Its a lot worse that we care to think about though. Im not a crazy tree-hugging hippy, but I know we're fucked. How are our grandkids and greatgrandkids going to survive this mess? I dont think we should go through hell to try and fix whats already dead. We should just live. Live like theres no tomorrow, 'cause one day there wont be.
Life for me? It's amazing. I lost a good friend today, and I'll be losing a lot more eventually. However, I gained something that nobody can take away from me. Im satisfied with this part of my life. If I died today... I cant say I'd be happy though. I have so much to do. I havent traveled. I want to go to Europe. Hell, I want to move to Europe. I want to see everything there is to see. I want to take pictures of the hills of Ireland and castles of Romania. I want to write. I want to jot down my thoughts until my hand falls off and I have to learn to write left-handed. Then, I'll have to hire someone to write for me, because my work will never be done. My thoughts never ending and my creations never reaching my point of satisfaction. I want to play music. Play until the day I die. I dont care that I suck. Im going down with a stream of notes in my head. I want to see Billy Corgan play live. I want to talk to him. I want to talk to him about growing up and about philosophy and art, because he's the most psychologically compelling person Ive ever encountered. Not only through his sound, but through his writing. If I had never heard The Smashing Pumpkins or Zwan or his solo and I just read his lyrics, I would be just as compelled to strive for his wisdom as I am today. Read his book of poetry, Blinking With Fists. It's my absolute favorite. I may not die happy if I died today... but I will die complete. A huge hole is filled. Who knows if it's permanent... but it sure is amazing. Something Ive never known before, and may never know again.
I have a lot more to write, but I'll finish later. Part II coming soon...
Since when did society decide that you have to live to their standards? Who made up the rules. Who said that you had to grow up, go to school, get an office job and have a family? Im not saying that its wrong to have such things, but you should only strive for what satisfies you. Don't work your ass off to reach a goal that was preset for you by a person that didn't know you, nor your personality or potential. Life is short. Short as hell. Yeah, its a very common saying. You can't go through a mortality conversation without somebody dropping the overused phrase. Think about it though. Millions of years have passed throughout the existence of life. How many people are remembered? How many do you think died happy? Now Im not saying that you have to be famous to live a good life. Im just saying that we arent here long enough to fret about things that will mean nothing in the long run. The world is dying. Again, another overused topic. Its a lot worse that we care to think about though. Im not a crazy tree-hugging hippy, but I know we're fucked. How are our grandkids and greatgrandkids going to survive this mess? I dont think we should go through hell to try and fix whats already dead. We should just live. Live like theres no tomorrow, 'cause one day there wont be.
Life for me? It's amazing. I lost a good friend today, and I'll be losing a lot more eventually. However, I gained something that nobody can take away from me. Im satisfied with this part of my life. If I died today... I cant say I'd be happy though. I have so much to do. I havent traveled. I want to go to Europe. Hell, I want to move to Europe. I want to see everything there is to see. I want to take pictures of the hills of Ireland and castles of Romania. I want to write. I want to jot down my thoughts until my hand falls off and I have to learn to write left-handed. Then, I'll have to hire someone to write for me, because my work will never be done. My thoughts never ending and my creations never reaching my point of satisfaction. I want to play music. Play until the day I die. I dont care that I suck. Im going down with a stream of notes in my head. I want to see Billy Corgan play live. I want to talk to him. I want to talk to him about growing up and about philosophy and art, because he's the most psychologically compelling person Ive ever encountered. Not only through his sound, but through his writing. If I had never heard The Smashing Pumpkins or Zwan or his solo and I just read his lyrics, I would be just as compelled to strive for his wisdom as I am today. Read his book of poetry, Blinking With Fists. It's my absolute favorite. I may not die happy if I died today... but I will die complete. A huge hole is filled. Who knows if it's permanent... but it sure is amazing. Something Ive never known before, and may never know again.
I have a lot more to write, but I'll finish later. Part II coming soon...