here we go again.
the weather in Boracay was bad enough last week, but being sick the entire time we were there *almost* made the trip miserable.
stormy skies, rough waters, hangovers and stuffed sinuses do not mix well.
of course, being the team player that i am, i decided to ignore the low fever i was running and just carried on sucking on Strepsils most of the time, downing Robitussin and Advil in between drinking sessions and arming myself with a lot of tissue. besides, i was with my boyfriend and his friends. it wasn't the time to play the "i'm-so-sick-please-take-care-of-me-cough-cough" role.
so i just decided to play the "i'm-so-sick-but-we're-gonna-have-fun-even-if-it-kills-me-cough-cough" role instead. and anyway, i wasn't the only one who was sick, i was simply the "worst hit" of the lot. definitely managed to have fun getting drunk before evening then jumping into the resort pool while the rain was pouring, island-hopping, proving Jagermeister right when we had "the best night we'll never remember", pigging out on seafood and spending quality time with the boyfriend.
strangely, i got darker on this trip than i did when i was there in June when it wasn't raining.
*sighs*
another mad flurry of 18 days. the usual mad scramble for matching schedules, making time to have quiet time with each other, managing to see our friends and hanging out with them, doing errands, going home to assure my parents that i haven't eloped with him, dinners, parties, out-of-towns, massages, you-can-only-imagine-what-else, etc., etc., etc.
everytime he arrives in this city, i hold my breath for the wild ride that's sure to follow. this relationship is kind of like "expiration dating" with commitment. i'm not complaining. if anything, we've become closer and i can honestly say that the relationship is getting better.
he left yesterday morning (a Monday again!) and my brother asked me earlier today if i cried. i said, yes, in fact i've been crying in installments again ever since we took seperate cabs from his hotel at 8am yesterday. by "in installments.. ever since", i mean i've been crying like a little bitch in the bathroom, my bedroom, the office, the office bathroom, McDonald's, in a taxi whenever a sad song plays, the kitchen while washing dishes.. you get the idea. every tear fest lasts around 5 minutes.. less when i'm in public, more when i'm alone. so while i'm *finally* more comfortable being myself with him, the melancholy that comes along with "parting yet again" does not change.
i think it hurts more than ever.
no, it's not something i'm used to already, nor is it something i want to be used to.
i always want to feel that it's WRONG for us to be apart.
how often have i written about this, online or in my pen-and-paper journal? it amazes me how i go on and on and on about the same topic.. HIM + this relationship + our love.. over and over again. i want to apologize to the weary audience (if there is any), but then again i am not sorry to have this in my life.
it saves me, it does. who cares if it breaks my sanity from time to time? i find that whenever i'm about to give up on things, he's there to make sure i make it safely, sort of like every time he reaches out for and then holds my hand while we cross the street.
when we island-hopped, we were docked somewhere in the middle of the sea while some of his friends did the banana boat thing and a few of us stayed on the boat. it started raining really hard and the wind was hella crazy, blowing from the front of the boat so the rain was directly hitting our faces. i put on a pullover to keep from getting cold but that didn't help much since i was wearing a short dress. suffice it to say, sickety-sick-sick me was freezing in no time. sensing my discomfort, he got up from his seat and stood in front of me so he can block the rain from hitting me, ignoring the fact that he was sick too.
ayayay, i love those "small" gestures of his.
he's great. i'm great. we're good, all good. now the trick is to keep it alive.
i already told him my goal with him: "to make you fall in love with me everyday for the rest of our lives."
in the meantime, excuse me. my tears are nowhere near running empty.
stormy skies, rough waters, hangovers and stuffed sinuses do not mix well.
of course, being the team player that i am, i decided to ignore the low fever i was running and just carried on sucking on Strepsils most of the time, downing Robitussin and Advil in between drinking sessions and arming myself with a lot of tissue. besides, i was with my boyfriend and his friends. it wasn't the time to play the "i'm-so-sick-please-take-care-of-me-cough-cough" role.
so i just decided to play the "i'm-so-sick-but-we're-gonna-have-fun-even-if-it-kills-me-cough-cough" role instead. and anyway, i wasn't the only one who was sick, i was simply the "worst hit" of the lot. definitely managed to have fun getting drunk before evening then jumping into the resort pool while the rain was pouring, island-hopping, proving Jagermeister right when we had "the best night we'll never remember", pigging out on seafood and spending quality time with the boyfriend.
strangely, i got darker on this trip than i did when i was there in June when it wasn't raining.
*sighs*
another mad flurry of 18 days. the usual mad scramble for matching schedules, making time to have quiet time with each other, managing to see our friends and hanging out with them, doing errands, going home to assure my parents that i haven't eloped with him, dinners, parties, out-of-towns, massages, you-can-only-imagine-what-else, etc., etc., etc.
everytime he arrives in this city, i hold my breath for the wild ride that's sure to follow. this relationship is kind of like "expiration dating" with commitment. i'm not complaining. if anything, we've become closer and i can honestly say that the relationship is getting better.
he left yesterday morning (a Monday again!) and my brother asked me earlier today if i cried. i said, yes, in fact i've been crying in installments again ever since we took seperate cabs from his hotel at 8am yesterday. by "in installments.. ever since", i mean i've been crying like a little bitch in the bathroom, my bedroom, the office, the office bathroom, McDonald's, in a taxi whenever a sad song plays, the kitchen while washing dishes.. you get the idea. every tear fest lasts around 5 minutes.. less when i'm in public, more when i'm alone. so while i'm *finally* more comfortable being myself with him, the melancholy that comes along with "parting yet again" does not change.
i think it hurts more than ever.
no, it's not something i'm used to already, nor is it something i want to be used to.
i always want to feel that it's WRONG for us to be apart.
how often have i written about this, online or in my pen-and-paper journal? it amazes me how i go on and on and on about the same topic.. HIM + this relationship + our love.. over and over again. i want to apologize to the weary audience (if there is any), but then again i am not sorry to have this in my life.
it saves me, it does. who cares if it breaks my sanity from time to time? i find that whenever i'm about to give up on things, he's there to make sure i make it safely, sort of like every time he reaches out for and then holds my hand while we cross the street.
when we island-hopped, we were docked somewhere in the middle of the sea while some of his friends did the banana boat thing and a few of us stayed on the boat. it started raining really hard and the wind was hella crazy, blowing from the front of the boat so the rain was directly hitting our faces. i put on a pullover to keep from getting cold but that didn't help much since i was wearing a short dress. suffice it to say, sickety-sick-sick me was freezing in no time. sensing my discomfort, he got up from his seat and stood in front of me so he can block the rain from hitting me, ignoring the fact that he was sick too.
ayayay, i love those "small" gestures of his.
he's great. i'm great. we're good, all good. now the trick is to keep it alive.
i already told him my goal with him: "to make you fall in love with me everyday for the rest of our lives."
in the meantime, excuse me. my tears are nowhere near running empty.