*get a grip*
why is it that we're never contented with what we hear? or more likely, why is it that when we finally hear what we've been dying to hear, we hardly, if at all, believe it? how destructive are those first heartbreaks that everything else afterwards seem like lies? why can't we ever just smile and be thankful and not raise our eyebrows, say "oh reaaaally now?" then think we're being lied to?
isn't it sad that after all those heartaches and urban legends, we fall into the trap of expecting nothing else but more of those? we constantly wait for the shit to hit the fan and when it finally does, we complain on how we didn't see it coming. well i'm sick of that bullshit.
reading our e-mails, i'm pretty disappointed with myself for sounding so doubtful in most of them. in fact, i sound as if i'm on an endless crusade of fishing for compliments. yikes! i have become the girl who constantly needs to be reassured. i have become "the girl with the broken smile" who's waiting for someone to make things better again.
the funny thing is, i'm nowhere near permanently broken. i'm very much happy with myself and the people around me. yes, things could be better, but that never changes (if only to constantly evolve).
the new yorker is a definite plus (hell, he's waaay more than a measly "plus".. he's so much more than i ever thought he is). i should be thankful he's a part of my daily madness. i am thankful. and from now on i'm keeping everything in mind (and heart). i don't want to make time for doubt nor jealousy. those two are effing downers and not even the kind you can improve with alcohol. life's too short to even have a single bad-vibe moment. and while bad vibes will inevitably pop up, i'll try not to dwell on them too much.
i am choosing to believe in this. and you know, "the universe always conspires with the dreamer".
this is my dream. please let me have it.
* * *
on a lighter note..
*pilfered from joel*
isn't it sad that after all those heartaches and urban legends, we fall into the trap of expecting nothing else but more of those? we constantly wait for the shit to hit the fan and when it finally does, we complain on how we didn't see it coming. well i'm sick of that bullshit.
reading our e-mails, i'm pretty disappointed with myself for sounding so doubtful in most of them. in fact, i sound as if i'm on an endless crusade of fishing for compliments. yikes! i have become the girl who constantly needs to be reassured. i have become "the girl with the broken smile" who's waiting for someone to make things better again.
the funny thing is, i'm nowhere near permanently broken. i'm very much happy with myself and the people around me. yes, things could be better, but that never changes (if only to constantly evolve).
the new yorker is a definite plus (hell, he's waaay more than a measly "plus".. he's so much more than i ever thought he is). i should be thankful he's a part of my daily madness. i am thankful. and from now on i'm keeping everything in mind (and heart). i don't want to make time for doubt nor jealousy. those two are effing downers and not even the kind you can improve with alcohol. life's too short to even have a single bad-vibe moment. and while bad vibes will inevitably pop up, i'll try not to dwell on them too much.
i am choosing to believe in this. and you know, "the universe always conspires with the dreamer".
this is my dream. please let me have it.
* * *
on a lighter note..
*pilfered from joel*