home alone and happy, nothing brings me down
So as not to see you see me react: On Fiona Apple's last album, the song 'Parting Gift' has a part that always makes me smile softly whenever I listen to the song. The song, as a whole, isn't exactly something to smile about, but this one part just always gets the corners of my mouth to turn up, if not prompt a chuckle out of me.
I took off my glasses
While you were yelling at me once, more than once
So as not to see you see me react
Should've put 'em, should've put 'em back on again
So I could see you see me sincerely yelling back
It makes me smile, because she describes something I do a lot. So for those of you who may not know this already, here's a random, quirky factoid about me: I take my glasses off whenever I get more anxious than usual. Granted, not every time I take my glasses off is because of this - sometimes my eyes are tired, or I'm just needing a break from the weight of the frames against my face. But it is something I've noticed that I do whenever my anxiety starts getting the best of me. I take my glasses off, because in some strange way, I gain back at least a little bit of comfort/security when I do so.
One of my biggest problems with social interaction is that I spend too much time analyzing the people I'm interacting with - watching for any little sign that I might be annoying them or that they think I'm stupid or something like that. It's silly, I know, but it's a habit that I've had for years. I watch their faces for expression, I watch body posture, etc.
I have horrible eyesight - I'm quite nearsighted and also have astigmatism in both eyes, so basically, once my glasses come off, the details of anything more than a couple feet away from me immediately become blurry. I can still make out a person's facial features, but it is harder for me to read expression.
Oddly, my poor vision ends up helping me when my anxiety does really start to get more intense in social situations. I take my glasses off, and I can't focus on the things my mind usually picks apart and obsesses over. I can't focus on them in a literal sense, but it ends up making my mind back off with the over-analyzation, too. It's a weird, psychological trick I've figured out how to play on myself, haha.
++++
Found a new tea that I love.
So good. It really does make my sinuses feel less congested, and I can tell that if I ever have trouble with my throat being sore, this stuff will help that too. You can feel it coat your throat, and in a good way that you'd want when you have a sore/scratchy throat.
The ingrediants: ginger root, licorice root, eucalyptus leaf (bolding that, since some people are allergic, and so obviously shouldn't drink this), orange peel, valerian root, lemon grass, peppermint leaf, basil leaf, cardamom seed, oregano leaf, black pepper, clove bud, parsley leaf, yarrow flower, cinnamon bark, and natural orange flavor.
It probably sounds like it wouldn't taste good, what with all the various spices and herbs (I know I raised an eyebrow at the basil, oregano and parsley), but it honestly tastes really, really good. It's basically like an orange spice flavor - emphasis on the spice, though, instead on the orange. It's got so much warmth in the taste, it's just lovely. You can smell the eucalyptus and peppermint, but they don't really factor in noticeably with the taste. Even just smelling it can make my nose feel better.
Kit, if you're still feeling under the weather, this might help if you can find a place that sells it. :)
I'm really glad I found this, because I have a lot of trouble around this time of year with my nose/sinuses.
++++
I've been listening to Emiliana Torrini's Fisherman's Woman album for the past couple of hours. It creates such a relaxing atmosphere. I know I've mentioned her once or twice before, but if you haven't checked her out yet, I definitely recommend her. This album is such a treat to listen to when I'm feeling really mellow.
I think I'm going to go read for a bit. Much love to you all!
I took off my glasses
While you were yelling at me once, more than once
So as not to see you see me react
Should've put 'em, should've put 'em back on again
So I could see you see me sincerely yelling back
It makes me smile, because she describes something I do a lot. So for those of you who may not know this already, here's a random, quirky factoid about me: I take my glasses off whenever I get more anxious than usual. Granted, not every time I take my glasses off is because of this - sometimes my eyes are tired, or I'm just needing a break from the weight of the frames against my face. But it is something I've noticed that I do whenever my anxiety starts getting the best of me. I take my glasses off, because in some strange way, I gain back at least a little bit of comfort/security when I do so.
One of my biggest problems with social interaction is that I spend too much time analyzing the people I'm interacting with - watching for any little sign that I might be annoying them or that they think I'm stupid or something like that. It's silly, I know, but it's a habit that I've had for years. I watch their faces for expression, I watch body posture, etc.
I have horrible eyesight - I'm quite nearsighted and also have astigmatism in both eyes, so basically, once my glasses come off, the details of anything more than a couple feet away from me immediately become blurry. I can still make out a person's facial features, but it is harder for me to read expression.
Oddly, my poor vision ends up helping me when my anxiety does really start to get more intense in social situations. I take my glasses off, and I can't focus on the things my mind usually picks apart and obsesses over. I can't focus on them in a literal sense, but it ends up making my mind back off with the over-analyzation, too. It's a weird, psychological trick I've figured out how to play on myself, haha.
++++
Found a new tea that I love.
So good. It really does make my sinuses feel less congested, and I can tell that if I ever have trouble with my throat being sore, this stuff will help that too. You can feel it coat your throat, and in a good way that you'd want when you have a sore/scratchy throat.
The ingrediants: ginger root, licorice root, eucalyptus leaf (bolding that, since some people are allergic, and so obviously shouldn't drink this), orange peel, valerian root, lemon grass, peppermint leaf, basil leaf, cardamom seed, oregano leaf, black pepper, clove bud, parsley leaf, yarrow flower, cinnamon bark, and natural orange flavor.
It probably sounds like it wouldn't taste good, what with all the various spices and herbs (I know I raised an eyebrow at the basil, oregano and parsley), but it honestly tastes really, really good. It's basically like an orange spice flavor - emphasis on the spice, though, instead on the orange. It's got so much warmth in the taste, it's just lovely. You can smell the eucalyptus and peppermint, but they don't really factor in noticeably with the taste. Even just smelling it can make my nose feel better.
Kit, if you're still feeling under the weather, this might help if you can find a place that sells it. :)
I'm really glad I found this, because I have a lot of trouble around this time of year with my nose/sinuses.
++++
I've been listening to Emiliana Torrini's Fisherman's Woman album for the past couple of hours. It creates such a relaxing atmosphere. I know I've mentioned her once or twice before, but if you haven't checked her out yet, I definitely recommend her. This album is such a treat to listen to when I'm feeling really mellow.
I think I'm going to go read for a bit. Much love to you all!