untitled (hyukhaeqmi)

[warmboys]

written for squidward tentacles @ kpopficwangst secret santa.
prompt: "hyukjae, kyuhyun, zhou mi, and donghae snuggling up together for a movie night. bonus points if it's a horror movie and kyuhyun is the only one that ends up getting scared. err, no smut, include some bickering, and don't have any of them act girly? i'm not really picky. :]"

Untitled, PG, hyukjae/donghae/zhou mi/kyuhyun
err, see prompt :D

It was a mystery, Hyukjae thought. It was an utter mystery how he ended up with Kyuhyun’s shoulder against his cheek, Zhou Mi’s feet on his lap, and Donghae’s drool making snowflake patterns on his t-shirt.

“I hate the holidays,” Zhou Mi said over a peanut-butter-covered celery stick. He bit it and made loud crunching sounds in Hyukjae’s ear.

Hyukjae was trying to focus on his morning Sudoku puzzle. It wasn’t working, with Zhou Mi’s funny attempts at Korean small talk every fifteen seconds. He set his three-inch pencil down (he had been using this one since middle school. Frugality was a skill he pwned in the face) with a less-than-subtle sigh, stretched, and craned his neck to look for Kyuhyun. Who besides Heechul took hour-long showers anyway?

“You know why? I’ll tell you why. Because you see couples everywhere. You go shopping-I mean, sure I love shopping-and can’t even look at cashmere gloves in peace without a salesgirl coming up to ask if you’re getting them for your girlfriend. Can’t a man indulge a little? What girl has hands that big-“ (Shindong walked by to get something from the fridge, and Hyukjae desperately reached out a hand to tug on his sleeve. The call for help was promptly ignored. Shindong grinned wide and rolled his eyeballs around in his sockets like a demented puppy, grabbing a jar of Nutella from the fridge.) “-anyway? Was she saying that cashmere gloves could only be worn by women? What kind of sexist logic is that? I hate being born male, sometimes, there’s all this discrimination we have to deal with…”

Luckily, at that moment Donghae chose to slide into the kitchen, figure-skater style. “What are we talking about?”

Hyukjae looked at him desperately. “Cashmere gloves.”

Zhou Mi perked up at the sight of his fellow SJ-M member. Somewhere deep inside Hyukjae might have been a little disgruntled at the change in his mood, but it was a little too deep inside for him to discern consciously. Perhaps it could most appropriately be likened to a feeling of discomfort.

“Oh, I was telling Eunhyuk-sshi about how I don’t like the holidays.”

Donghae lit up. “Really? ME EITHER.”

Hyukjae opened his mouth to protest and say “What are you talking about, you LOVE Christmas and Santa and babies and all that ridiculous commercial sappiness you freaking hypocrite” when Zhou Mi and Donghae literally leapt at each other from across the table and embraced like two very gay men.

“I know, right?! They’re so overrated.”

“Yeah, and cold! I hate the cold!”

“Oh my God… me too!”

“Seriously? Why did we never talk about this before?”

“Why indeed??? I feel so much closer to you now!”

“ME TOO! I think I love you.”

“OH MY GOD I THINK I LOVE YOU-“

And on and on they went for ten minutes. Hyukjae gaped at the both of them, his jaw slack as he tried to piece together what had just taken place. He had been sitting there the whole time, hadn’t he? Then why didn’t he understand how they’d gone from casual acquaintances to biffles in under fifteen seconds? He wondered briefly if he had been abducted by aliens just after Donghae appeared and then returned in time to witness the result of an illicit bromance he had with Zhou Mi while Hyukjae was gone. He shook that thought from his mind. Donghae hadn’t been quite the same after his abduction. He gave them one last look and tried to tune both of them out as he turned back to his puzzle.

Hyukjae was having the best dream about cute fifteen year old girls licking marshmallows when he heard a familiar voice interject itself into his consciousness like an obnoxious voiceover. “So, we’ve decided to boycott Christmas this year!”

He rolled over in his bed, eyes still clamped shut. His favorite plushie Mr. Carrot had somehow gotten wedged between his legs during the two-hour nap.

“Hey, did you hear us? BOYCOTT. CHRISTMAS.”

“Ah, don’t forget, Donghae-“ Oh, great. Another one.

“What? Oh, yeah! We’re going to watch horror movies instead.”

Hyukjae fumbled around with eyes closed for the covers but Donghae’s hand must’ve gotten there earlier because soon he was shivering and half-naked.

He opened his eyes and was about to shriek at Donghae for ruining his nap when he noticed Zhou Mi was looking at him curiously. And so was Donghae, now that he thought about it.

“Dude.” Donghae pointed, and Hyukjae followed his finger down.

Oh. So it hadn’t been Mr. Carrot between his legs after all.

Hyukjae blushed, groaned, and threw the real Mr. Carrot at both of them. They both ducked and it hit the wall behind them instead. “I’m a man, okay? I HAVE NEEDS.”

Zhou Mi cocked an eyebrow at him that made Hyukjae wish he were racist.

He’d seen this movie over twenty times already with Donghae, but Zhou Mi, of course had made grabby hands at it in the video store-“Oh, that one! I still haven’t seen it yet.”

Hyukjae had stared. “Are you serious?” Everyone had seen The Ring at some point. Even babies, countless babies all over the world, had been subject to the horror. Hyukjae knew this for a fact, after a lazy afternoon of Wikipediaing.

Zhou Mi grinned at him, showing a row of even, pearly teeth. “Yes.”

Donghae immediately grabbed it off the shelf, where it’d been sitting next to Uptown Girls. “Then it’s settled. Oh, Kyuhyun will love this. I just know it.”

Hyukjae was too busy mumbling “Well if Zhou Mi wants to watch it…” to realize it was Donghae’s first and only attempt at sarcasm in his life.

When they came home, Kyuhyun gestured towards the DVD case between Hyukjae’s gloved hands. “What did you get?”

“Uh, The Ring. Boring, I know.”

Kyuhyun launched into a coughing fit, and Hyukjae wondered if he was catching cold. The poor kid. They were all being overworked, that was for sure.

And that was how he ended up on the couch squished between Donghae and Kyuhyun while a faceless girl crawled out of the television screen inside the real television screen. “This is my favorite part!” Donghae yelled into Hyukjae’s ear just as Kyuhyun edged closer to him on the other side and grabbed a fistful of his just-ironed polo shirt.

Hyukjae tried to move over but Donghae wasn’t budging either. “Er, Kyuhyunnie,” he whispered. “You’re pinching me.”

“Oh, crap, sorry, hyung. I didn’t realize-AAAAAAHHHHHH ARE THOSE HER EYES??”

“Well, as close as they’re going to get to eyes, but yeah-wait.” Hyukjae stopped to flick his head toward the magnae. “Don’t tell me you’re afr-“

Kyuhyun tore his eyes away from the screen to stare at Hyukjae. Reflected in them was nothing less than abject fear.

Hyukjae woke up the next morning with a cramp in his neck and an elbow in his side. He blinked twice and realized another set of eyes was blinking right back at him. Donghae’s.

“Why are you so creepy,” Hyukjae murmured before last night came tumbling back. “And mean! Kyuhyun’s apparently terrified of horror films.”

Donghae laughed over Kyuhyun’s sleeping body. “I know. But Zhou Mi thought it would be a good idea.”

“And Zhou Mi’s the arbitrator of-“ Hyukjae began but stopped himself. It was too early in the morning to be bitter.

“Well, I don’t know,” Donghae said. “I thought we should try harder to make him feel welcome outside of just SJ-M, you know?”

Hyukjae nodded slowly. There was nothing he could say to that. “You seem pretty good at doing that.”

Donghae’s eyes widened. “Am I? You really think so?”

“Yeah. I’d say you were best friends if I didn’t know better.” Even if I did.

“Thanks!” Donghae then gave him a curious look. “You’re not… jealous or anything… are you?”

“No…”

“Oh, good.”

“…Maybe.”

Donghae threw Zhou Mi’s glasses at Hyukjae. “Come on, after all these years?”

Hyukjae laughed, but it came out less convincing than he’d planned. “I don’t know! You’re always hanging out and stuff. Giggling and being buddy-buddy.”

Donghae stared at him. His mouth curled up into a delightful smirk. “Then let’s be buddy-buddy, too, Hyukkie. Let’s be buddy-buddy now…”

Hyukjae spent the next ten minutes dodging Donghae’s slippery fingers attacking the most ticklish parts of his ribs from all sides and decided he didn’t need to be Donghae’s best friend after all; Zhou Mi could have him all to himself.

“Merry Christmas, you jerk.”

“Ow ow get off my stomach.”

“Oops. I love you?”

did you catch the ninja!hyukjae/IU? XD