Hankyung's Revenge

[warmboys]

Fandom: Super Junior
Character/Pairing: Hankyung, Hankyung/Heechul
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of violence and animal cruelty
Word Count: 468
Summary: What does Hankyung have against Yesung?
A/N: inspired by this >:O utter crack.


Hankyung's Revenge

Hankyung was generally a nice person. He thought so himself, and the opinions of many people verified this. He was a nice person, who often cooked for the other members, sent money home to his parents, and occasionally pretended he didn’t know Korean… yadda yadda, it was stuff everyone and their grandma knew, after hearing them countless times on countless shows which all repeated the same couple facts about him because Hankyung’s lines on these shows were still, sadly, quite countable.

As a nice person, he couldn’t understand why he was considering the number of ways to make turtle stew out of Yesung’s best friend.

Turtles were calm, peaceful reptiles. Hankyung was just as much a fan of turtles as the Korean next door. They also lived well into old age, far longer than humans could begin to dream of. They were creatures to be respected. And sometimes de-shelled, chopped up into fine pieces, and then boiled with a couple potatoes and sliced onions.

Eating turtle was far less common in Korea than China, so part of Hankyung’s new craving could perhaps be attributed to homesickness. But turtle stew wasn’t exactly a famous Chinese dish either. He’d only had it a couple times in his life, and while it wasn’t disgusting as Westerners make it out to be, it wasn’t life-altering either. He could’ve lived without it.

Then why did he dream every night about breaking into Yesung’s room with a 8-inch Chinese cleaver?

Was it because…

No, it couldn’t be.

There was no way-

--that somewhere deep down and very very repressed within him was the desire to cause Yesung bodily harm, and that since this was out of question, Hankyung’s subconscious had replaced “Yesung” with “Ddangkoma” as the target of his wrath instead.

There was no way. Why would he want to hurt Yesung for? They’d been nothing but civil to one another, not the best of friends but still friends. He couldn’t think of one reason he’d want to grab that big blow-up head of his and slam it against the wall. Not one.

Although, looking back, Hankyung did remember something from earlier that February in Thailand, when at a performance Heechul had walked over during his solo bit and still singing into the mic, had leaned forward into him with a hint of a smirk, a little present to the fans, with the crowd roaring in crazy anticipation, and Hankyung had leaned in as well, bridging the gap between their noses, and they had turned their heads instinctively to ease into this inevitable, six-years-coming kiss, there were only centimeters between them now-

And then with one swift, stupid motion and two stupid stubby fingers Yesung had pushed Heechul’s lips away.

That night Hankyung had gone online shopping for a brand new 8-inch cleaver.

--

it occurs to me now that Then why did he dream every night about breaking into Yesung’s room with a 8-inch Chinese cleaver? can be interpreted in another way.
let us not go there. although i don't doubt hankyung's cleaver is indeed 8 inches long