Stuff From My Armpit
So after months and months of being a hermit and hibranating because I hate Winter and cold and rain and crap like that, I'm emerging out into Spring and going out tonight. Wow, I don't think I know what to do it's been so long. So people will have to help me order drinks and what I like since it's been so long (oh wait it's MGD, but what if Club Pure doesn't have MGD then what do I drink). See somoene will need to hold my hand and help me figure out how to be in public ahhhh.
I'm still laughing at all the stupid hype over pig flu or whatever the hell this years panic is about. Why is it every 2 years a massive freak out happens over yet another virus that never will amount to much? Every two years it seems people need to get global on mass paranoia. You'd think Ebola was making it's rounds around the world or something.
If I had the money I'd go to Mexico right now, I'm not scared of some stupid flu bug, he'll I've been so countries in the world where a flu bug would be like going to Disney Land and yet I was fine (watch me now come down with Marburg virus and keel over dead on the weekend). Oh well, people need to panic I guess. Just like the whole "AHHHH year 2000 we're alll going to dieeeeeeeeeeeee", board up in the basement with a month supply of food and water. Yep while people I actually know went to such extremems, I was partying it up on the Vegas strip that New Years (as usual) and not worried one bit about anything failing or collapsing. Oh no year 2012 is comming up "ahhhhhhhhhhh the Mayans said we're alllll going to dieeeeeeeeeeee". Yep I'll be hopefully partying it up somewhere that year as well for New Years.
Well that is if I don't start bleeding out of my eyeballs over the weekend because of the Ebola infection I might catch off some dead monkey in Gabon that touched a guy who touched another guy who brushed up against a girl who sneezed in an open air market where someone inhaled 1 molocule of sneeze snot particle and then boarded a plane to Italy where they went out drinking and sipped his drink and some cute girl decided to take a drink of his without asking and then danced with her American friend who was over for vacation and accidnetly got pushed into her and then she had to leave because her spring break was over and had to get back to finals and the hopped a plane to Georgia, but had a lay over in london where she read a newspaper and left it on the seat and then went to get something to eat, while a guy sat down in her seat and then started to read the same newspaper and touched it and then boarded the plane to New York where the stewardess gave him coke when she had the dink cart out and then the stewadess took his dirty glass after when the plane was about to land and she forgot to wash her hands as she opened the door of the plane and helped an elderyly woman out by touching her bare arm, and as the old lady walked out into the baggage claim she was met by her entire family for the reuinion and hugged everyone, including her grand kid who wasn't really her grandkid but was adopted and from a mafia family and had to run an errand for his new friends in the mob, and took off out of the airport to pick up the money package that was to be delivered to Guido, which he handed over and where Guido needed to dispose of the body first before embarking on a cross country road trip to Mexico, but while he was driving he got a flat tire and needed to pay off AAA for fixing it in cold hard cash, so he gave the guys a few hundred dollars to be quiet about the body they saw sitting in the front seat decomposing and trying to look like a living passanger, and Bob the AAA mechanic guy ran home with all his money and picked up the phone when it rang to find he had won the foregin lottery, but needed to quickly send in unmarked bills a sum of money first in order to clear the processing fees and ran to the local tennessee post office to send the bills to Nigeria, when he needed stamps and so he bought some stamps, but had too many so he peeled off one to give to the pretty young girl who was short a stamp to mail her boyfriend in Colorado a photo of her naked and she gladly took his stamp and placed it on the envelope and put it in the mail box where when arriving in Colorado the post person noticed the card got a little ripped and so he took off the stamp with his left hand and then reglued it back on and sent the card on its way, but the guy then saw his buddy who was heading downtown and patted him on the shoulder because his friend won the poker game last night and so the friend went downtown and was going to need some money and went to the bank but his shoulder was itcy so he scratched it and then used the ATM machine which happend to be the same damn ATM machine that I used at lunch to take out cash to pay for the cover at tonights Steam event at Club Pure.
So you see if I come down with squirting blood out my ears and eyes, you'll know why...
I'm still laughing at all the stupid hype over pig flu or whatever the hell this years panic is about. Why is it every 2 years a massive freak out happens over yet another virus that never will amount to much? Every two years it seems people need to get global on mass paranoia. You'd think Ebola was making it's rounds around the world or something.
If I had the money I'd go to Mexico right now, I'm not scared of some stupid flu bug, he'll I've been so countries in the world where a flu bug would be like going to Disney Land and yet I was fine (watch me now come down with Marburg virus and keel over dead on the weekend). Oh well, people need to panic I guess. Just like the whole "AHHHH year 2000 we're alll going to dieeeeeeeeeeeee", board up in the basement with a month supply of food and water. Yep while people I actually know went to such extremems, I was partying it up on the Vegas strip that New Years (as usual) and not worried one bit about anything failing or collapsing. Oh no year 2012 is comming up "ahhhhhhhhhhh the Mayans said we're alllll going to dieeeeeeeeeeee". Yep I'll be hopefully partying it up somewhere that year as well for New Years.
Well that is if I don't start bleeding out of my eyeballs over the weekend because of the Ebola infection I might catch off some dead monkey in Gabon that touched a guy who touched another guy who brushed up against a girl who sneezed in an open air market where someone inhaled 1 molocule of sneeze snot particle and then boarded a plane to Italy where they went out drinking and sipped his drink and some cute girl decided to take a drink of his without asking and then danced with her American friend who was over for vacation and accidnetly got pushed into her and then she had to leave because her spring break was over and had to get back to finals and the hopped a plane to Georgia, but had a lay over in london where she read a newspaper and left it on the seat and then went to get something to eat, while a guy sat down in her seat and then started to read the same newspaper and touched it and then boarded the plane to New York where the stewardess gave him coke when she had the dink cart out and then the stewadess took his dirty glass after when the plane was about to land and she forgot to wash her hands as she opened the door of the plane and helped an elderyly woman out by touching her bare arm, and as the old lady walked out into the baggage claim she was met by her entire family for the reuinion and hugged everyone, including her grand kid who wasn't really her grandkid but was adopted and from a mafia family and had to run an errand for his new friends in the mob, and took off out of the airport to pick up the money package that was to be delivered to Guido, which he handed over and where Guido needed to dispose of the body first before embarking on a cross country road trip to Mexico, but while he was driving he got a flat tire and needed to pay off AAA for fixing it in cold hard cash, so he gave the guys a few hundred dollars to be quiet about the body they saw sitting in the front seat decomposing and trying to look like a living passanger, and Bob the AAA mechanic guy ran home with all his money and picked up the phone when it rang to find he had won the foregin lottery, but needed to quickly send in unmarked bills a sum of money first in order to clear the processing fees and ran to the local tennessee post office to send the bills to Nigeria, when he needed stamps and so he bought some stamps, but had too many so he peeled off one to give to the pretty young girl who was short a stamp to mail her boyfriend in Colorado a photo of her naked and she gladly took his stamp and placed it on the envelope and put it in the mail box where when arriving in Colorado the post person noticed the card got a little ripped and so he took off the stamp with his left hand and then reglued it back on and sent the card on its way, but the guy then saw his buddy who was heading downtown and patted him on the shoulder because his friend won the poker game last night and so the friend went downtown and was going to need some money and went to the bank but his shoulder was itcy so he scratched it and then used the ATM machine which happend to be the same damn ATM machine that I used at lunch to take out cash to pay for the cover at tonights Steam event at Club Pure.
So you see if I come down with squirting blood out my ears and eyes, you'll know why...