Dreams
Dreams. I have a dream, a home with property to keep my horse, dogs and maybe a few chickens. I'm taking steps to try making that reality.
I also have fears. Fear I'll not be able to care for my horse properly, fear I'll not be able to keep up with a larger piece of land, fear I'll move and have NO support anywhere to help care for the animals when I have to travel for work or family. After all, I'm comfortable here, and while my horse isn't in my own yard he's safe now. We've gotten him fed properly and he looks fabulous. Where he is, I know if I have to leave town he'll still be cared for, get fed and let out at night. My dogs have a nearby place to board, or there's the puppy runner I can pay to pet sit for me. What if I can't find someone to house sit and care for horses and chickens?
Some days, this fear nearly paralyzes me. Fear of failing myself is fine, fear of failing the animals is not.
However, I've ordered installation of new kitchen counters and a stainless steel sink. It's yet another step on the road to fixing this house up for a possible sale. Fear or not, I've made a decision to get these things done. Now I am working to make it happen, if at a glacial pace.
Perhaps I fear that my already limited human interaction will become non-existent as well. Maybe that wouldn't be all bad, but it isn't all good, either.
I also have fears. Fear I'll not be able to care for my horse properly, fear I'll not be able to keep up with a larger piece of land, fear I'll move and have NO support anywhere to help care for the animals when I have to travel for work or family. After all, I'm comfortable here, and while my horse isn't in my own yard he's safe now. We've gotten him fed properly and he looks fabulous. Where he is, I know if I have to leave town he'll still be cared for, get fed and let out at night. My dogs have a nearby place to board, or there's the puppy runner I can pay to pet sit for me. What if I can't find someone to house sit and care for horses and chickens?
Some days, this fear nearly paralyzes me. Fear of failing myself is fine, fear of failing the animals is not.
However, I've ordered installation of new kitchen counters and a stainless steel sink. It's yet another step on the road to fixing this house up for a possible sale. Fear or not, I've made a decision to get these things done. Now I am working to make it happen, if at a glacial pace.
Perhaps I fear that my already limited human interaction will become non-existent as well. Maybe that wouldn't be all bad, but it isn't all good, either.