A well-thought-out, highly-detailed, and extremely useful analogy
For anyone who does not have rosefox already on their friends-list, I recommend this entry for some in-depth reading about gender and its effects on interaction.
Short form -- 'male' and 'female' is not a binary, nor are they either end of a scale. Rather, they are regions on a map where people can spend time. People can and do move about the map, including to places entirely outside of Femaletown and Maleville, and even outside of Genderia itself. Someone from Butch Bay has just as much claim on Femaletown citizenship as someone from Elegantia, and nobody has the right to decide where someone else lives, nor where someone else 'should' live.
Short form -- 'male' and 'female' is not a binary, nor are they either end of a scale. Rather, they are regions on a map where people can spend time. People can and do move about the map, including to places entirely outside of Femaletown and Maleville, and even outside of Genderia itself. Someone from Butch Bay has just as much claim on Femaletown citizenship as someone from Elegantia, and nobody has the right to decide where someone else lives, nor where someone else 'should' live.