Save me from Reading!
I haven't updated in a while. I've been so busy filled with thoughts of Cali, family, friends, and school. I had a wonderful time in Cali and a wonderful time with Marc. It's so beautiful and green over there, and I could see the stars which is always great. It's very different from NYC. Everyone seems a lot laid back, and not in a rush like over here. Everyone seems more friendly, and I must say that I do love the sun kissing my face, and the breeze caressing my cheek. I can't get that in NYC where in january a blizzard threatens at every turn. Blah.
I saw Marc's car Amanda Jo. I want to learn hopw the fix the car so I can help him, and I also think it's rather awesome to learn how to fix a car, especially since I want my own babe to drive. Weee. OOOOO Marc is sweet he got me a moped and he's going to paint it pink and such. I feel all special and stuff for having one. He's such a sweetheart. I love him for a variety of reasons. I feel weird, because I feel like a part of me is with Marc and that really is very scary. I mean I feel happy, but when I'm near him I feel more complete. I don't know if anyone can understand what I mean when I say complete. I'm a functional human being even if he's not here, but when I saw him for those few days I felt whole. I had that beautiful feeling that I had when he was in NYC for those few months. Oh God I can't believe that I'm writing this.
While I had a wonderful time over there, my friends and family were not so happy. I got a 3 hour lecture from my parents over me going to Cali when I'm done with college in December. My mom and dad think I'm going to fail at a career if I go west, btu I really disagree. My mom wants me to stay and establish myself in nyc before I go moving out. Yet, if I establish myself here than it makes it harder to move because I already have a career here. But if I go west wehile I'm young and done with college then I can go and make myself successful over there. I also want to be close to Marc. I really do believe he is the one for me, and why can't I be happy and successful and be with the one I love. My friends also lectured me about it. They are afraid of me being hurt by him, and they are afraid that I'll have no one out there. Yes, if you ask me if I'm terrified of going out there I am. But I really don't believe Marc can hurt me that way, and I know I won't have my family and friends out there but I would hope that my family would keep in touch with me, and if my friends don't keep in touch with me I always can make new ones. I'm very sociable. *sigh*
Let me heave another sigh. I started classes yesterday, and while I was excited to be back I was also exhausted. As soon as I read the syllabus for Media and Public Opinion Class I was reminded how much reading Professor Beck gives us for class, and how are paper and final was killer. I don't want another B- in that class. The woman is a hard grader and I wokred my but off last year, while the najority of the class achieved C+ I got a B-. I wanted a higher grade. I'm going to try to get that. My Latin American Politics and Understanding TV seem interesting. The work load doesn't seem that bad. I was dissappointed in my Art Journalism class. I thought it was going to be a class where we went to see plays and art shows and wrote reviews for what we have seen. Yet, it turns out to be more of an english class where we read 19th century and more modern critiques of art, and possibly learn how to write art reviews rather than going out to see work. I was hoping for a more exciting class especially since it runs to 8:45. AT least I only have it once a week, and at least Christina (from abc internship) and Justine are there to keep me company.
It was so nice to see Christina. I told her about Cali and I told her about Marc, in which she replied shrilly that she knew that somethign was there and how obvious it was. She was like I asked you if you liekd him and you didn't say anything. Most people don't know that when I don't say anything it usually means Yes. So yes I liked him for a while. She thought it was amazing. Some people, even my friends that are angry do find it amazing that I could have so much love for a person, but think that's its scary. It is but I can't let the fear rip me apart. I have to be strong. I love how beautiful it is, and I never want to lose it.
I really can't do my hw reading during this lunch hour. I much rather think of story ideas, shopping, or living at the Heart Catsle (which I saw in Cali. I'll put the pictures of it up soon) and imajine myself living the life of a socialite. I want to be successful. I want to go home, and by home I mean the place where the sun embraces me and calmness envelopes me, and where I can run around the grass and be happy. :)
I saw Marc's car Amanda Jo. I want to learn hopw the fix the car so I can help him, and I also think it's rather awesome to learn how to fix a car, especially since I want my own babe to drive. Weee. OOOOO Marc is sweet he got me a moped and he's going to paint it pink and such. I feel all special and stuff for having one. He's such a sweetheart. I love him for a variety of reasons. I feel weird, because I feel like a part of me is with Marc and that really is very scary. I mean I feel happy, but when I'm near him I feel more complete. I don't know if anyone can understand what I mean when I say complete. I'm a functional human being even if he's not here, but when I saw him for those few days I felt whole. I had that beautiful feeling that I had when he was in NYC for those few months. Oh God I can't believe that I'm writing this.
While I had a wonderful time over there, my friends and family were not so happy. I got a 3 hour lecture from my parents over me going to Cali when I'm done with college in December. My mom and dad think I'm going to fail at a career if I go west, btu I really disagree. My mom wants me to stay and establish myself in nyc before I go moving out. Yet, if I establish myself here than it makes it harder to move because I already have a career here. But if I go west wehile I'm young and done with college then I can go and make myself successful over there. I also want to be close to Marc. I really do believe he is the one for me, and why can't I be happy and successful and be with the one I love. My friends also lectured me about it. They are afraid of me being hurt by him, and they are afraid that I'll have no one out there. Yes, if you ask me if I'm terrified of going out there I am. But I really don't believe Marc can hurt me that way, and I know I won't have my family and friends out there but I would hope that my family would keep in touch with me, and if my friends don't keep in touch with me I always can make new ones. I'm very sociable. *sigh*
Let me heave another sigh. I started classes yesterday, and while I was excited to be back I was also exhausted. As soon as I read the syllabus for Media and Public Opinion Class I was reminded how much reading Professor Beck gives us for class, and how are paper and final was killer. I don't want another B- in that class. The woman is a hard grader and I wokred my but off last year, while the najority of the class achieved C+ I got a B-. I wanted a higher grade. I'm going to try to get that. My Latin American Politics and Understanding TV seem interesting. The work load doesn't seem that bad. I was dissappointed in my Art Journalism class. I thought it was going to be a class where we went to see plays and art shows and wrote reviews for what we have seen. Yet, it turns out to be more of an english class where we read 19th century and more modern critiques of art, and possibly learn how to write art reviews rather than going out to see work. I was hoping for a more exciting class especially since it runs to 8:45. AT least I only have it once a week, and at least Christina (from abc internship) and Justine are there to keep me company.
It was so nice to see Christina. I told her about Cali and I told her about Marc, in which she replied shrilly that she knew that somethign was there and how obvious it was. She was like I asked you if you liekd him and you didn't say anything. Most people don't know that when I don't say anything it usually means Yes. So yes I liked him for a while. She thought it was amazing. Some people, even my friends that are angry do find it amazing that I could have so much love for a person, but think that's its scary. It is but I can't let the fear rip me apart. I have to be strong. I love how beautiful it is, and I never want to lose it.
I really can't do my hw reading during this lunch hour. I much rather think of story ideas, shopping, or living at the Heart Catsle (which I saw in Cali. I'll put the pictures of it up soon) and imajine myself living the life of a socialite. I want to be successful. I want to go home, and by home I mean the place where the sun embraces me and calmness envelopes me, and where I can run around the grass and be happy. :)