Final installment of the Purity Test fic
Been busy, sorry this took so long. Begging for comments as always... :)
“The Power to Contemplate Defilement”
by Zombiechick and Abbysiuta
Pairing; Artie/Claudia
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Vague references to multiple Season 3 episodes
Disclaimer: We own nothing, we just like to make them do what we want
xposted: artie_claudia
Claudia awoke from a wonderfully restful sleep and rolled over, her arm reaching out the other side of the bed. When she encountered crumpled sheets and a still dented pillow, rather than the much more pleasant form of one sleep rumpled Arthur Nielsen she mumbled, “What the what?” and opened her eyes fully. Artie was indeed gone from her bed, having slipped out while she slept. “Nice to let a girl sleep in,” she conceded. “And no cash on the bedside table,” she laughed, “so I guess I won’t be offended.”
Stretching languidly, the sheets slid from her torso to reveal her soft, warm, breasts. Running her hands through her hair, she smiled lazily at memories of the previous night. “Was gonna wake him up all nice, too,” she pouted slightly. “I guess this means I’ll just have to jump him in the hammock later today.”
The Bed and Breakfast was especially quiet as she padded to the bathroom with her towel and toiletries, wrapped in Artie’s robe. Claudia called out a few half-hearted “Hellos” but received no answer. Shrugging her shoulders she muttered, “So I’m the slacker today,” before hopping in the shower.
Padding barefoot down the stairs a half hour later, clad in jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, she found that a place had been set for her at the breakfast table. Her bowl of Cheerios was already poured and a spoon rested on a folded napkin. Claudia found a small piece of folded paper tucked under her favorite Charlie Brown coffee mug. She recognized Artie’s spidery handwriting:
“Didn’t want to wake you, sleeping so peacefully. Figured you needed your rest after last night.” Claudia could practically see Artie’s version of a lecherous grin while reading his little ‘love note.’ “We’re back at the Warehouse cataloging artifacts belonging to Benjamin Franklin. Bring the Ranchero out once you’ve eaten some breakfast.” It was simply signed “A.”
Claudia grinned at the note and, after folding it once again, kissed it softly before sliding it into the pocket of her jeans. A Warehouse artifact file folder rested on the table, to the left of her bowl. After going to the kitchen for milk and a banana, she opened the folder and read through it while she ate. “Crash course on one of the founding fathers,” she mused while chuckling through some of the more colorful information about the man who she had only previously associated with the hundred-dollar bill. “It’s all about the Benjamins, baby,” she told the quiet dining room.
+++++++++++++
Everything looked normal when Claudia parked the Ranchero outside the Warehouse main doors; both Artie’s Jag and the agents’ black SUV were parked in their usual spots. As she walked down the portcullis without being greeted by Pete and Myka’s typical banter and bickering, she became suspicious, “Spidey senses are tingling,” she mumbled to herself as she quietly opened the office door and peeked her head around.
Her brow furrowed as her eyes fell upon the extremely strange sight that greeted her. Artie, Pete, Myka, and Leena were all sitting in various chairs, their spines ramrod straight, and facing Artie’s chalkboard. They didn’t so much as turn when she entered the office, their eyes trained on spots directly in front of them, their faces focused and serious. “Uh, hello?” Claudia asked as she circled around the seated occupants, scanning the room for any obvious bad mojo.
No one answered and Claudia began to get really worried. “Looks like I might have to call in the big guns,” she murmured as she reached into her pocket for her Farnsworth, intending to contact Mrs. Frederic. As she stepped back, her hip bumped against Artie’s desk and a pile of folders slowly fanned out until the edge of the topmost folder hit a small brass bell that rested near Artie’s keyboard. The quiet “ding” was met with sighs of relief from Myka, Pete, Leena, and Artie who slumped in their chairs.
Claudia was startled as all four of them began talking at once:
“Claudia, the bell is,” Myka began.
“It’s cursed, it’s cursed,” Pete chorused, “wow Sister Mary Francis would have loved to get her hands on that thing!”
“Just step away from the bell, Claudia,” Artie said seriously and motioned for Claudia to move toward him.
“Yelling at her isn't helping,” Leena commented as her eyes tracked around the edge of Claudia's form, obviously reading her aura.
“Hey, hold up,” Claudia said defensively, her hands in the air, “somebody tell me what’s going on.” She sat her mocha that she’d picked up at a drive through espresso hut on her way to the Warehouse, down on Artie’s desk.
The thump of the paper cup dislodged another file and Pete, Myka, Leena, and Artie let out a chorus of “No!” as it tapped the bell.
Claudia, eyes wide, suddenly stood up very straight and walked, robot-like, over to her desk chair. An observer would have recognized that she was not moving under her own control as she wheeled the chair so that it was placed in a straight line with Artie’s chair, and sat down smoothly. The agents, Leena, and Artie had returned to their previous positions, staring intently, with complete focus, on the blackboard.
Claudia was able to move her lips enough to whisper toward Artie, “What’s going on?”
A chorus of hissing “Sshhhh” from Artie and the others greeted her question.
‘What the hell?!’ Claudia thought. She moved her eyes, rolling them to her utmost peripheral vision so that she could check out the other captives. ‘Why isn’t anyone moving? Oh god,’ she panicked, ‘this feels just like school. Oh, so going to lose it; can’t stand the boredom!’ she fumed to herself. ‘Must do something to ring that bell!’ She found that, with a huge amount of effort, she could move her right hand. Sliding it slowly up her thigh, she hissed with the effort to make her fingers dip into her front pocket. They closed around the straw that had come with her mocha and, with painstaking effort, managed to pull it from her pocket.
Her hands were quickly drawn to her lap, stilled by an inexplicable force. For several minutes, Claudia felt the crushing power of academia. She fought against the thoughts of conformity and obedience that seemed to be bombarding her brain with bruising punches of authority. ‘Ugh, it feels just like high school,’ she whimpered mentally. With her eyes still trained on the blackboard, like the others, Claudia was able to move her hands that lay in her lap, slowly; centimeter by centimeter.
She tore the wrapping from the straw and placed it on her left thigh. Then, grasping the straw with several fingers of her right hand, terrified of dropping it on the floor, she tore off a small piece of the straw wrapping. She balled it up as best she could and tossed it toward her mouth. She swore silently when it missed and fell to the floor. It took five more tries, with her tongue sticking out, afraid she’d run out of wrapper before she hit her mouth. And then, training all of her strength into her right arm, willing herself to allow her teenage angst to bloom once again fully in her mind, she brought the straw to her lips.
She swore that she could hear her neck creaking as she turned toward the bell. Her line of sight was directly blocked by Artie’s curls. ‘Artie,’ Claudia thought, ‘I never thought I’d even think this but you need a haircut.’ Straining against the back of the chair she was able to just see the edge of the bell. Her lips working, constructing the spitball carefully, she inhaled deeply. With a short prayer to Loki, Coyote, Raven, Hermes, or any other deviant deity that popped into her head, she blew through the straw mightily. The spitball was dislodged and Claudia catapulted off the chair and crowed with delight when the now familiar “ping” resounded through the office.
Artie, Pete, Leena, and Myka quickly stood up stretching and grinning. Artie rushed over and picked up the bell while, at the same time, shoving his hand inside the mouth of the bell to effectively quiet the clapper. “Claudia, my little dark imp, sometimes your prankster ways vex me but, other times, they make me want to kiss you.” His eyes widened at his own words and he did an about face, quickly moving into one of the adjoining rooms to wrap the artifact.
Blushing, Claudia coughed awkwardly and glanced at Leena, Pete and Myka, luckily they were still to busy recovering to have heard Artie’s comment, or notice Claudia’s complexion. “I thought for sure you’d be,” Myka was saying to Pete, “I mean there was the dodge ball incident but, come on, you weren’t the class clown?”
“Are you kidding me?” Pete whined. “"Huh-uh, I went to Catholic school. Anytime I come close to a ruler, my knuckles swell up instantly; it's a rare allergy."
Both Pete and Myka turned and looked at Leena expectantly. She shrugged and gave them a mysterious smile that would have made Mrs. Frederick proud.
“Somebody gonna tell me what just happened there?” Claudia asked the room.
“Benjamin Franklin artifact,” Myka explained. “The bell came from Boston Latin High School.”
“Ben went there for awhile,” Pete broke in, “but couldn’t stand the place. Too stuffy,” he demonstrated by pulling his own collar away from his neck and tugging.
“Oh, right,” Claudia said, as she got up to speed. “Our man Franklin was a bit of a bad boy of the 18th century, right?”
“Definitely class clown material,” Myka agreed.
“Good thing for you,” Pete said affectionately patting Claudia’s cheek, “we were all good little students so we couldn’t do the clowning that was necessary to break us out.”
“I definitely saw my share of the detention room,” Claudia admitted, grinning.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
By the end of the day, everyone had more or less recovered from the effects of the school bell artifact. Artie sent Leena, Pete, and Myka back to the B&B, planning on staying behind to catch up on some file work. “What about Claudia?” Pete asked. “Gonna make her stay after when we all get to go home?” Pete cut his hand quickly through the air and made a whipping noise with his mouth.
Artie looked around the office, “Not sure where she's gotten to actually.”
“I'm sure Claudia can find her way home,” Leena assured Pete.
“Yeah, she's a big girl,” Myka assured him. “Come on, Pete,” she said while tugging on his arm, “there's about three or four tacos with your name on them.”
“Only three or four?” Pete whined as Myka and Leena pushed him out the door.
Artie quickly managed to fall back into his own work. Close to an hour had passed before he heard footsteps enter the office from the observation deck. He didn't bother to turn around, recognizing Claudia's perfume, “The others have gone home for the night, Claudia,” he said over his shoulder, “we can hit the road too, if you want.” When she didn't answer him, Artie slowly turned around, and his jaw fell open as he saw what Claudia was wearing.
Before Artie had time to comment, Claudia, with a quick flick of her wrist, rang the school bell that had caused the crushing academic paralysis earlier in the day. Artie immediately sat up from his slouch, and straightened in his chair. Turning it toward the blackboard, he waited expectantly while fighting to see Claudia from his peripheral vision. She did him a favor by walking slowly toward the blackboard and picking up a piece of chalk. “I'll be your substitute teacher for the day, Arthur,” she said as she bent over at the waist to write on the chalkboard.
Artie's eyes bulged at the way that the black leather mini skirt stretched over Claudia's ass. He swallowed audibly when he spied her black stockings resting atop her pale thighs. 'Oh gods,' he thought, 'I'm going to have a heart attack and no one will know because I'll be frozen in place.”
Claudia finished writing “Ms. Donovan” on the chalkboard and turned around, folding her arms across her chest. The gesture moved her breasts closer together, and Artie's tongue snaked out to lick suddenly dry lips at the delicious glimpse of freckled cleavage. “I've been given special instructions regarding your education, Arthur,” Claudia informed him. She picked up a ruler that lay on the chalk tray, “I was informed that there have been several incidents,” she tapped the ruler against her gloved palm. “Discipline problems,” she elaborated, and brought the ruler down harder this time.
Artie couldn't help but flinch at the sound of the length of flat wood hitting Claudia's leather glove. Much like Pete, Artie's schooling had been strict and, while he rarely got into any real trouble himself, he did remember the feel of a switch on his open palm. He swallowed hard as he watched Claudia saunter toward him. The high-heel stilettos that she wore made Claudia's back arch, thrusting her breasts forward; a sight that made Artie want to moan and squirm, but he was powerless to move.
She had obviously been playing in the Betty Page artifacts; Artie recognized the outfit from a pin-up that he'd had a copy of at one point in his younger years. The only thing that she hadn't gotten correct were the thigh-high boots. It wasn't her fault, however, they'd been destroyed in a museum fire nearly forty years ago. He whimpered inwardly, and continued to watch Claudia's approach. The way she swished her hips back and forth made the perspiration pop out on his brow, and Artie was powerless to do anything about it as a large drop of sweat slid down the bridge of his nose.
Claudia dropped the ruler to the floor and, grabbing the hem of her skirt, hitched it up higher so that she could straddle Artie's lap. “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Arthur? Any attempt at an explanation for your past inappropriate behavior?”
Artie's eyes were fixed on Claudia's breasts; he sat forward on his lap so that her soft cleavage was mere inches from Artie's nose. This time the emotions were strong enough that he was able to lose a small whimper of need when Claudia settled in his lap. He could feel, through his trousers, that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She took her time getting comfortable, purposefully brushing her bare skin against him, taunting him with the wet heat that he knew was pooling between her thighs.
“Such unrepentant behavior definitely deserves some sort of punishment,” Claudia stated as she threaded her fingers through Artie's curls and pulled his face into her cleavage. Artie was powerless to resist, and really had no interest in doing so, as Claudia dragged his mouth and goatee over her cleavage, caressing her breasts softly with the wiry hair on his chin, gasping as his lips brushed wetly against her.
“Still no plea for mercy?” Claudia asked as she let Artie go; he quickly returned to his ramrod straight posture, eyes trained straight ahead. “Still no attempt at an explanation for your numerous offenses?” Claudia actually managed to look disappointed as she sat back away from Artie, without leaving his lap, “I suppose that the punishment will have to be a demonstration; showing you that students who misbehave miss out on the more diverting activities.”
Artie's eyes widened as Claudia raised the skirt even higher, and spread her legs wide. His previous suspicions were confirmed when she leaned back slightly, and he could clearly see her naked sex, glistening with moisture. He bit at his lower lip when he noted that she had shaved herself almost completely bare with only a one inch wide patch of curly hair adorning her hot flesh. His fingers practically itched to touch her, to nibble her with his lips and teeth. Using her teeth to pull at the fingers of one hand, Claudia removed the glove, and tossed it over her shoulder. She noted the way that Artie's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. She laughed quietly, and used her teeth on the other glove; it flew over her shoulder and joined its mate on the floor behind her.
Then Claudia moved her now bare hands along her naked thighs, moaning softly as her fingers brushed her sex. Leaning back further, her right hand spread her lips, rubbing her swollen clit with her fingers, and circling slowly. Artie watched as her eyes slipped shut, her tongue snaking out to lick at her lips, as two fingers of her left hand slid into her wet passage; she teased herself with a slow pumping motion. Artie's hips jerked suddenly, and he groaned quietly as Claudia's breasts heaved with reaction. She stuttered with need, and then smiled with pleasure as two fingers on her right hand moved down, trapping her clit between them and rubbing sensually against her hardened flesh.
Artie's eyes darted back and forth from Claudia's face, to her breasts, to her busy fingers as she pleasured herself. He was still trapped by the power of the artifact, unable to do anything, as he watched Claudia spiral closer and closer to orgasm. She gasped suddenly, and their eyes locked as she found her release. Claudia slumped forward against Artie's chest, her lips closing around his neck, her teeth nipping at his skin. He could feel her hands speed up, her fingers continuing their movements. She thrust against him as she came, spilling a litany of profanities into his shoulder. Her breath tickled at the curls that lay against his ear, and he heard her chuckle happily as she lolled against him.
Artie moaned quietly as she stood up and moved back to the chalkboard. Picking up the bell, Claudia smiled mischievously. She held it aloft, noting the strain in Artie's neck and the way the muscles in his torso practically jumped with suppressed movement. She flicked her hand quickly, and the tinkling of the bell pervaded the silence of the office, before setting it aside and waiting for Artie's reaction.
With a roar of frustration, he practically vaulted out of his chair and grabbed her around the waist. She giggled happily as he pressed her back against his desk, and picked her up so that she sat on the edge. There was a moment of fumbling movement as he quickly undid his belt and unzipped his trousers; Claudia wrapped her thighs around his waist and pulled him quickly to her, locking her ankles at the small of his back. The fingers of Artie's right hand tangled in Claudia's hair while he moved his hardened length to line up with her moistened sex. With a happy groan, Artie slid into her at the same time that his tongue snaked between Claudia's lips.
The movements of his mouth mimicked the thrusting of his hips as Artie crushed Claudia's smaller frame to him. His hands wandered all over her torso as he kissed her hard. Claudia sank her fingers into Artie's curls and circled her hips to match his movements, tightening the muscles of her sex around his shaft, and milking him expertly, while he murmured filthy, wanton, things against her lips. When Claudia tilted against him, Artie groaned loudly, and broke the kiss to bury his face in her cleavage, biting and sucking at the swell of her breasts as he came. The orgasm left him speechless, and gasping, his ears ringing with the intensity of his release.
After he'd had time to recover, Artie sat back in his chair, bringing Claudia with him. She snuggled against his chest as he laid a gentle kiss at her temple, “Calling me a rule breaker,” he murmured.
Claudia laughed, “Another point off your purity test, Artie. Now you've participated in role playing. Besides, it was perfectly safe; I did a little research and found that the person wielding the bell isn't affected.”
“A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing,” Artie panted and kissed Claudia lightly on the lips.
“Lucky for you,” Claudia said as she wrapped her arms around Artie's neck and kissed the bridge of his nose, “I use my powers only for good.”
…………………………………………………………………………………………
Pete nearly fell out of his chair when the inner door of the umbilicus slammed open. He managed to save the plate of cookies he’d been working on from hitting the floor, and then watched as a truly pissed off Artie came storming in. “Claudia,” Artie roared at the redhead that came walking in behind him, “the next time an old lady offers you a cup of chamomile tea, you say ‘Yes!’”
Claudia waved a flippant hand in his direction, and pulled a neutralization bag, that was bulging in the shape of a teapot, out of her satchel, “I told her that I don’t like herbal tea,” she explained.
Artie began to breathe deeply, the anger slowly building on his face, “You don’t like,” he sputtered.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Artie, careful there,” Pete jumped in, attempting to save the younger woman from being glared to death.
“Yeah,” Claudia agreed as she pointed at Artie from over Pete’s shoulder, “remember Vanessa told you to cut down on the squinty pirate glare. Oh, and you’ve got cookie crumbs in your eyebrows.”
“Crumbs?!” Artie roared at her while brushing at his face; Pete was becoming seriously concerned that the older man was going to blow a gasket.
“Someday your eye is gonna bulge so bad it’ll,” Claudia slid a finger into her mouth and then pulled it out quickly to produce a popping sound before disappearing into the back room with the artifact.
Pete was surprised at Artie’s strength as he struggled to contain the older man, keeping him from committing what might have been a very violent act on the disappearing redhead.
“Hey, hey, hey now,” Pete said as he tried to maneuver Artie back to his desk, “remember that the last time Claudia drank herbal tea she grew pointy ears and had to destroy her deepest demons. I’d have asked for soda, too.”
Artie sighed, and Pete felt the fight go out of him. He let go of the older man and passed him the plate of cookie. “Like artifact PTSD,” Pete continued, “I have a bunch of little tics now; dodgeballs, griffins, telegraphs. After all these years don’t you have anything that still tweaks you out besides blood?”
“Hmph,” Artie muttered, waving a dismissive hand in his direction. “I know how to use artifacts the right way,” he muttered, one corner of his mouth pulling up in a smile as he turned to start pulling cards from one of the catalog drawers.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Later that night, with an eagle and a lion looking over them from the nightstand, Claudia and Artie lay naked, and intertwined in her bed at the B&B.
“So what made you, Mr. Cautious, decide that we should play with an artifact tonight?” Claudia asked as pushed herself up on her elbows and smiled down at Artie’s relaxed face. “If I remember correctly, we almost lost Pete and Myka when they switched bodies with these beauties.”
“Well, it was actually Pete who reminded me of this particular pair, and their effect, and I just thought that it might be…” his voice trailed off as his eyes unfocussed and he unconsciously brought a hand to his chest.
“Thought that it would be delightful to have breasts for a while?” Claudia teased as she leaned down and gently bit one of Artie’s nipples. “That, and drop more than a hundred pounds so that you could do the flexible stuff for a change?”
“No, well, I just thought, it was lovely to…” Artie reddened and sputtered as Claudia rolled off him laughing. He sighed, knowing that he’d never win this argument. He reached one hand over and cupped one of Claudia’s breasts gently tweaking the pink nipple, “these are on my list of favorite things,” he commented with a smile.
Claudia chuckled as she rolled over and grabbed her ipad from next to the animal bookends. “Speaking of lists, this ought to check a few things off of our ever shortening purity test.” She scrolled for a minute, eyebrows knitting together. With a sigh, she tossed the ipad to the sided and grumped, “I guess artifact sex is just that special because we can’t check off a damn thing for switching bodies and getting it on.”
Artie pulled her to him, and kissed the top of her head, as she snuggled into the hollow of his shoulder. “I don’t think that we should let some stupid list dictate how we spend our free time anymore.”
“Don’t you want to do some of what’s left? I was kinda looking forward to getting to a few,” Claudia admitted looking up at him hopefully.
“Oh my imaginative little genius, you really think that we need to have a list to help us get creative?” Artie replied, shaking his head.
Claudia arched one eyebrow, suggestively, and smirked, “Well, when you put it like that, I have been thinking of something a bit original that could be fun.”
Artie cut her off with a deep, lingering kiss. “Maybe, we could just enjoy some quality time together without any twists and turns for a while,” he stated as he pulled her on top of him.
“Silly old man, we’re warehouse agents; that’ll never work.” She gasped as she felt Artie’s hand move to stroke between her thighs, “but we can give it a damn good try,” she stated as she gave into his clever ministrations.
“The Power to Contemplate Defilement”
by Zombiechick and Abbysiuta
Pairing; Artie/Claudia
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Vague references to multiple Season 3 episodes
Disclaimer: We own nothing, we just like to make them do what we want
xposted: artie_claudia
Claudia awoke from a wonderfully restful sleep and rolled over, her arm reaching out the other side of the bed. When she encountered crumpled sheets and a still dented pillow, rather than the much more pleasant form of one sleep rumpled Arthur Nielsen she mumbled, “What the what?” and opened her eyes fully. Artie was indeed gone from her bed, having slipped out while she slept. “Nice to let a girl sleep in,” she conceded. “And no cash on the bedside table,” she laughed, “so I guess I won’t be offended.”
Stretching languidly, the sheets slid from her torso to reveal her soft, warm, breasts. Running her hands through her hair, she smiled lazily at memories of the previous night. “Was gonna wake him up all nice, too,” she pouted slightly. “I guess this means I’ll just have to jump him in the hammock later today.”
The Bed and Breakfast was especially quiet as she padded to the bathroom with her towel and toiletries, wrapped in Artie’s robe. Claudia called out a few half-hearted “Hellos” but received no answer. Shrugging her shoulders she muttered, “So I’m the slacker today,” before hopping in the shower.
Padding barefoot down the stairs a half hour later, clad in jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, she found that a place had been set for her at the breakfast table. Her bowl of Cheerios was already poured and a spoon rested on a folded napkin. Claudia found a small piece of folded paper tucked under her favorite Charlie Brown coffee mug. She recognized Artie’s spidery handwriting:
“Didn’t want to wake you, sleeping so peacefully. Figured you needed your rest after last night.” Claudia could practically see Artie’s version of a lecherous grin while reading his little ‘love note.’ “We’re back at the Warehouse cataloging artifacts belonging to Benjamin Franklin. Bring the Ranchero out once you’ve eaten some breakfast.” It was simply signed “A.”
Claudia grinned at the note and, after folding it once again, kissed it softly before sliding it into the pocket of her jeans. A Warehouse artifact file folder rested on the table, to the left of her bowl. After going to the kitchen for milk and a banana, she opened the folder and read through it while she ate. “Crash course on one of the founding fathers,” she mused while chuckling through some of the more colorful information about the man who she had only previously associated with the hundred-dollar bill. “It’s all about the Benjamins, baby,” she told the quiet dining room.
+++++++++++++
Everything looked normal when Claudia parked the Ranchero outside the Warehouse main doors; both Artie’s Jag and the agents’ black SUV were parked in their usual spots. As she walked down the portcullis without being greeted by Pete and Myka’s typical banter and bickering, she became suspicious, “Spidey senses are tingling,” she mumbled to herself as she quietly opened the office door and peeked her head around.
Her brow furrowed as her eyes fell upon the extremely strange sight that greeted her. Artie, Pete, Myka, and Leena were all sitting in various chairs, their spines ramrod straight, and facing Artie’s chalkboard. They didn’t so much as turn when she entered the office, their eyes trained on spots directly in front of them, their faces focused and serious. “Uh, hello?” Claudia asked as she circled around the seated occupants, scanning the room for any obvious bad mojo.
No one answered and Claudia began to get really worried. “Looks like I might have to call in the big guns,” she murmured as she reached into her pocket for her Farnsworth, intending to contact Mrs. Frederic. As she stepped back, her hip bumped against Artie’s desk and a pile of folders slowly fanned out until the edge of the topmost folder hit a small brass bell that rested near Artie’s keyboard. The quiet “ding” was met with sighs of relief from Myka, Pete, Leena, and Artie who slumped in their chairs.
Claudia was startled as all four of them began talking at once:
“Claudia, the bell is,” Myka began.
“It’s cursed, it’s cursed,” Pete chorused, “wow Sister Mary Francis would have loved to get her hands on that thing!”
“Just step away from the bell, Claudia,” Artie said seriously and motioned for Claudia to move toward him.
“Yelling at her isn't helping,” Leena commented as her eyes tracked around the edge of Claudia's form, obviously reading her aura.
“Hey, hold up,” Claudia said defensively, her hands in the air, “somebody tell me what’s going on.” She sat her mocha that she’d picked up at a drive through espresso hut on her way to the Warehouse, down on Artie’s desk.
The thump of the paper cup dislodged another file and Pete, Myka, Leena, and Artie let out a chorus of “No!” as it tapped the bell.
Claudia, eyes wide, suddenly stood up very straight and walked, robot-like, over to her desk chair. An observer would have recognized that she was not moving under her own control as she wheeled the chair so that it was placed in a straight line with Artie’s chair, and sat down smoothly. The agents, Leena, and Artie had returned to their previous positions, staring intently, with complete focus, on the blackboard.
Claudia was able to move her lips enough to whisper toward Artie, “What’s going on?”
A chorus of hissing “Sshhhh” from Artie and the others greeted her question.
‘What the hell?!’ Claudia thought. She moved her eyes, rolling them to her utmost peripheral vision so that she could check out the other captives. ‘Why isn’t anyone moving? Oh god,’ she panicked, ‘this feels just like school. Oh, so going to lose it; can’t stand the boredom!’ she fumed to herself. ‘Must do something to ring that bell!’ She found that, with a huge amount of effort, she could move her right hand. Sliding it slowly up her thigh, she hissed with the effort to make her fingers dip into her front pocket. They closed around the straw that had come with her mocha and, with painstaking effort, managed to pull it from her pocket.
Her hands were quickly drawn to her lap, stilled by an inexplicable force. For several minutes, Claudia felt the crushing power of academia. She fought against the thoughts of conformity and obedience that seemed to be bombarding her brain with bruising punches of authority. ‘Ugh, it feels just like high school,’ she whimpered mentally. With her eyes still trained on the blackboard, like the others, Claudia was able to move her hands that lay in her lap, slowly; centimeter by centimeter.
She tore the wrapping from the straw and placed it on her left thigh. Then, grasping the straw with several fingers of her right hand, terrified of dropping it on the floor, she tore off a small piece of the straw wrapping. She balled it up as best she could and tossed it toward her mouth. She swore silently when it missed and fell to the floor. It took five more tries, with her tongue sticking out, afraid she’d run out of wrapper before she hit her mouth. And then, training all of her strength into her right arm, willing herself to allow her teenage angst to bloom once again fully in her mind, she brought the straw to her lips.
She swore that she could hear her neck creaking as she turned toward the bell. Her line of sight was directly blocked by Artie’s curls. ‘Artie,’ Claudia thought, ‘I never thought I’d even think this but you need a haircut.’ Straining against the back of the chair she was able to just see the edge of the bell. Her lips working, constructing the spitball carefully, she inhaled deeply. With a short prayer to Loki, Coyote, Raven, Hermes, or any other deviant deity that popped into her head, she blew through the straw mightily. The spitball was dislodged and Claudia catapulted off the chair and crowed with delight when the now familiar “ping” resounded through the office.
Artie, Pete, Leena, and Myka quickly stood up stretching and grinning. Artie rushed over and picked up the bell while, at the same time, shoving his hand inside the mouth of the bell to effectively quiet the clapper. “Claudia, my little dark imp, sometimes your prankster ways vex me but, other times, they make me want to kiss you.” His eyes widened at his own words and he did an about face, quickly moving into one of the adjoining rooms to wrap the artifact.
Blushing, Claudia coughed awkwardly and glanced at Leena, Pete and Myka, luckily they were still to busy recovering to have heard Artie’s comment, or notice Claudia’s complexion. “I thought for sure you’d be,” Myka was saying to Pete, “I mean there was the dodge ball incident but, come on, you weren’t the class clown?”
“Are you kidding me?” Pete whined. “"Huh-uh, I went to Catholic school. Anytime I come close to a ruler, my knuckles swell up instantly; it's a rare allergy."
Both Pete and Myka turned and looked at Leena expectantly. She shrugged and gave them a mysterious smile that would have made Mrs. Frederick proud.
“Somebody gonna tell me what just happened there?” Claudia asked the room.
“Benjamin Franklin artifact,” Myka explained. “The bell came from Boston Latin High School.”
“Ben went there for awhile,” Pete broke in, “but couldn’t stand the place. Too stuffy,” he demonstrated by pulling his own collar away from his neck and tugging.
“Oh, right,” Claudia said, as she got up to speed. “Our man Franklin was a bit of a bad boy of the 18th century, right?”
“Definitely class clown material,” Myka agreed.
“Good thing for you,” Pete said affectionately patting Claudia’s cheek, “we were all good little students so we couldn’t do the clowning that was necessary to break us out.”
“I definitely saw my share of the detention room,” Claudia admitted, grinning.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
By the end of the day, everyone had more or less recovered from the effects of the school bell artifact. Artie sent Leena, Pete, and Myka back to the B&B, planning on staying behind to catch up on some file work. “What about Claudia?” Pete asked. “Gonna make her stay after when we all get to go home?” Pete cut his hand quickly through the air and made a whipping noise with his mouth.
Artie looked around the office, “Not sure where she's gotten to actually.”
“I'm sure Claudia can find her way home,” Leena assured Pete.
“Yeah, she's a big girl,” Myka assured him. “Come on, Pete,” she said while tugging on his arm, “there's about three or four tacos with your name on them.”
“Only three or four?” Pete whined as Myka and Leena pushed him out the door.
Artie quickly managed to fall back into his own work. Close to an hour had passed before he heard footsteps enter the office from the observation deck. He didn't bother to turn around, recognizing Claudia's perfume, “The others have gone home for the night, Claudia,” he said over his shoulder, “we can hit the road too, if you want.” When she didn't answer him, Artie slowly turned around, and his jaw fell open as he saw what Claudia was wearing.
Before Artie had time to comment, Claudia, with a quick flick of her wrist, rang the school bell that had caused the crushing academic paralysis earlier in the day. Artie immediately sat up from his slouch, and straightened in his chair. Turning it toward the blackboard, he waited expectantly while fighting to see Claudia from his peripheral vision. She did him a favor by walking slowly toward the blackboard and picking up a piece of chalk. “I'll be your substitute teacher for the day, Arthur,” she said as she bent over at the waist to write on the chalkboard.
Artie's eyes bulged at the way that the black leather mini skirt stretched over Claudia's ass. He swallowed audibly when he spied her black stockings resting atop her pale thighs. 'Oh gods,' he thought, 'I'm going to have a heart attack and no one will know because I'll be frozen in place.”
Claudia finished writing “Ms. Donovan” on the chalkboard and turned around, folding her arms across her chest. The gesture moved her breasts closer together, and Artie's tongue snaked out to lick suddenly dry lips at the delicious glimpse of freckled cleavage. “I've been given special instructions regarding your education, Arthur,” Claudia informed him. She picked up a ruler that lay on the chalk tray, “I was informed that there have been several incidents,” she tapped the ruler against her gloved palm. “Discipline problems,” she elaborated, and brought the ruler down harder this time.
Artie couldn't help but flinch at the sound of the length of flat wood hitting Claudia's leather glove. Much like Pete, Artie's schooling had been strict and, while he rarely got into any real trouble himself, he did remember the feel of a switch on his open palm. He swallowed hard as he watched Claudia saunter toward him. The high-heel stilettos that she wore made Claudia's back arch, thrusting her breasts forward; a sight that made Artie want to moan and squirm, but he was powerless to move.
She had obviously been playing in the Betty Page artifacts; Artie recognized the outfit from a pin-up that he'd had a copy of at one point in his younger years. The only thing that she hadn't gotten correct were the thigh-high boots. It wasn't her fault, however, they'd been destroyed in a museum fire nearly forty years ago. He whimpered inwardly, and continued to watch Claudia's approach. The way she swished her hips back and forth made the perspiration pop out on his brow, and Artie was powerless to do anything about it as a large drop of sweat slid down the bridge of his nose.
Claudia dropped the ruler to the floor and, grabbing the hem of her skirt, hitched it up higher so that she could straddle Artie's lap. “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Arthur? Any attempt at an explanation for your past inappropriate behavior?”
Artie's eyes were fixed on Claudia's breasts; he sat forward on his lap so that her soft cleavage was mere inches from Artie's nose. This time the emotions were strong enough that he was able to lose a small whimper of need when Claudia settled in his lap. He could feel, through his trousers, that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She took her time getting comfortable, purposefully brushing her bare skin against him, taunting him with the wet heat that he knew was pooling between her thighs.
“Such unrepentant behavior definitely deserves some sort of punishment,” Claudia stated as she threaded her fingers through Artie's curls and pulled his face into her cleavage. Artie was powerless to resist, and really had no interest in doing so, as Claudia dragged his mouth and goatee over her cleavage, caressing her breasts softly with the wiry hair on his chin, gasping as his lips brushed wetly against her.
“Still no plea for mercy?” Claudia asked as she let Artie go; he quickly returned to his ramrod straight posture, eyes trained straight ahead. “Still no attempt at an explanation for your numerous offenses?” Claudia actually managed to look disappointed as she sat back away from Artie, without leaving his lap, “I suppose that the punishment will have to be a demonstration; showing you that students who misbehave miss out on the more diverting activities.”
Artie's eyes widened as Claudia raised the skirt even higher, and spread her legs wide. His previous suspicions were confirmed when she leaned back slightly, and he could clearly see her naked sex, glistening with moisture. He bit at his lower lip when he noted that she had shaved herself almost completely bare with only a one inch wide patch of curly hair adorning her hot flesh. His fingers practically itched to touch her, to nibble her with his lips and teeth. Using her teeth to pull at the fingers of one hand, Claudia removed the glove, and tossed it over her shoulder. She noted the way that Artie's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. She laughed quietly, and used her teeth on the other glove; it flew over her shoulder and joined its mate on the floor behind her.
Then Claudia moved her now bare hands along her naked thighs, moaning softly as her fingers brushed her sex. Leaning back further, her right hand spread her lips, rubbing her swollen clit with her fingers, and circling slowly. Artie watched as her eyes slipped shut, her tongue snaking out to lick at her lips, as two fingers of her left hand slid into her wet passage; she teased herself with a slow pumping motion. Artie's hips jerked suddenly, and he groaned quietly as Claudia's breasts heaved with reaction. She stuttered with need, and then smiled with pleasure as two fingers on her right hand moved down, trapping her clit between them and rubbing sensually against her hardened flesh.
Artie's eyes darted back and forth from Claudia's face, to her breasts, to her busy fingers as she pleasured herself. He was still trapped by the power of the artifact, unable to do anything, as he watched Claudia spiral closer and closer to orgasm. She gasped suddenly, and their eyes locked as she found her release. Claudia slumped forward against Artie's chest, her lips closing around his neck, her teeth nipping at his skin. He could feel her hands speed up, her fingers continuing their movements. She thrust against him as she came, spilling a litany of profanities into his shoulder. Her breath tickled at the curls that lay against his ear, and he heard her chuckle happily as she lolled against him.
Artie moaned quietly as she stood up and moved back to the chalkboard. Picking up the bell, Claudia smiled mischievously. She held it aloft, noting the strain in Artie's neck and the way the muscles in his torso practically jumped with suppressed movement. She flicked her hand quickly, and the tinkling of the bell pervaded the silence of the office, before setting it aside and waiting for Artie's reaction.
With a roar of frustration, he practically vaulted out of his chair and grabbed her around the waist. She giggled happily as he pressed her back against his desk, and picked her up so that she sat on the edge. There was a moment of fumbling movement as he quickly undid his belt and unzipped his trousers; Claudia wrapped her thighs around his waist and pulled him quickly to her, locking her ankles at the small of his back. The fingers of Artie's right hand tangled in Claudia's hair while he moved his hardened length to line up with her moistened sex. With a happy groan, Artie slid into her at the same time that his tongue snaked between Claudia's lips.
The movements of his mouth mimicked the thrusting of his hips as Artie crushed Claudia's smaller frame to him. His hands wandered all over her torso as he kissed her hard. Claudia sank her fingers into Artie's curls and circled her hips to match his movements, tightening the muscles of her sex around his shaft, and milking him expertly, while he murmured filthy, wanton, things against her lips. When Claudia tilted against him, Artie groaned loudly, and broke the kiss to bury his face in her cleavage, biting and sucking at the swell of her breasts as he came. The orgasm left him speechless, and gasping, his ears ringing with the intensity of his release.
After he'd had time to recover, Artie sat back in his chair, bringing Claudia with him. She snuggled against his chest as he laid a gentle kiss at her temple, “Calling me a rule breaker,” he murmured.
Claudia laughed, “Another point off your purity test, Artie. Now you've participated in role playing. Besides, it was perfectly safe; I did a little research and found that the person wielding the bell isn't affected.”
“A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing,” Artie panted and kissed Claudia lightly on the lips.
“Lucky for you,” Claudia said as she wrapped her arms around Artie's neck and kissed the bridge of his nose, “I use my powers only for good.”
…………………………………………………………………………………………
Pete nearly fell out of his chair when the inner door of the umbilicus slammed open. He managed to save the plate of cookies he’d been working on from hitting the floor, and then watched as a truly pissed off Artie came storming in. “Claudia,” Artie roared at the redhead that came walking in behind him, “the next time an old lady offers you a cup of chamomile tea, you say ‘Yes!’”
Claudia waved a flippant hand in his direction, and pulled a neutralization bag, that was bulging in the shape of a teapot, out of her satchel, “I told her that I don’t like herbal tea,” she explained.
Artie began to breathe deeply, the anger slowly building on his face, “You don’t like,” he sputtered.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Artie, careful there,” Pete jumped in, attempting to save the younger woman from being glared to death.
“Yeah,” Claudia agreed as she pointed at Artie from over Pete’s shoulder, “remember Vanessa told you to cut down on the squinty pirate glare. Oh, and you’ve got cookie crumbs in your eyebrows.”
“Crumbs?!” Artie roared at her while brushing at his face; Pete was becoming seriously concerned that the older man was going to blow a gasket.
“Someday your eye is gonna bulge so bad it’ll,” Claudia slid a finger into her mouth and then pulled it out quickly to produce a popping sound before disappearing into the back room with the artifact.
Pete was surprised at Artie’s strength as he struggled to contain the older man, keeping him from committing what might have been a very violent act on the disappearing redhead.
“Hey, hey, hey now,” Pete said as he tried to maneuver Artie back to his desk, “remember that the last time Claudia drank herbal tea she grew pointy ears and had to destroy her deepest demons. I’d have asked for soda, too.”
Artie sighed, and Pete felt the fight go out of him. He let go of the older man and passed him the plate of cookie. “Like artifact PTSD,” Pete continued, “I have a bunch of little tics now; dodgeballs, griffins, telegraphs. After all these years don’t you have anything that still tweaks you out besides blood?”
“Hmph,” Artie muttered, waving a dismissive hand in his direction. “I know how to use artifacts the right way,” he muttered, one corner of his mouth pulling up in a smile as he turned to start pulling cards from one of the catalog drawers.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Later that night, with an eagle and a lion looking over them from the nightstand, Claudia and Artie lay naked, and intertwined in her bed at the B&B.
“So what made you, Mr. Cautious, decide that we should play with an artifact tonight?” Claudia asked as pushed herself up on her elbows and smiled down at Artie’s relaxed face. “If I remember correctly, we almost lost Pete and Myka when they switched bodies with these beauties.”
“Well, it was actually Pete who reminded me of this particular pair, and their effect, and I just thought that it might be…” his voice trailed off as his eyes unfocussed and he unconsciously brought a hand to his chest.
“Thought that it would be delightful to have breasts for a while?” Claudia teased as she leaned down and gently bit one of Artie’s nipples. “That, and drop more than a hundred pounds so that you could do the flexible stuff for a change?”
“No, well, I just thought, it was lovely to…” Artie reddened and sputtered as Claudia rolled off him laughing. He sighed, knowing that he’d never win this argument. He reached one hand over and cupped one of Claudia’s breasts gently tweaking the pink nipple, “these are on my list of favorite things,” he commented with a smile.
Claudia chuckled as she rolled over and grabbed her ipad from next to the animal bookends. “Speaking of lists, this ought to check a few things off of our ever shortening purity test.” She scrolled for a minute, eyebrows knitting together. With a sigh, she tossed the ipad to the sided and grumped, “I guess artifact sex is just that special because we can’t check off a damn thing for switching bodies and getting it on.”
Artie pulled her to him, and kissed the top of her head, as she snuggled into the hollow of his shoulder. “I don’t think that we should let some stupid list dictate how we spend our free time anymore.”
“Don’t you want to do some of what’s left? I was kinda looking forward to getting to a few,” Claudia admitted looking up at him hopefully.
“Oh my imaginative little genius, you really think that we need to have a list to help us get creative?” Artie replied, shaking his head.
Claudia arched one eyebrow, suggestively, and smirked, “Well, when you put it like that, I have been thinking of something a bit original that could be fun.”
Artie cut her off with a deep, lingering kiss. “Maybe, we could just enjoy some quality time together without any twists and turns for a while,” he stated as he pulled her on top of him.
“Silly old man, we’re warehouse agents; that’ll never work.” She gasped as she felt Artie’s hand move to stroke between her thighs, “but we can give it a damn good try,” she stated as she gave into his clever ministrations.