Knock Knock fic Chapters 1-6
So Zombiechick and I wrote an Artie/Claudia opus jumping off of last season’s Merge With Caution (and a little S1 Claudia) . It’s LONG so here is the first part.
Title: Knock, Knock -Cuff Tales
Authors: Zombiechick and Abbysiuta
Characters: Mainly Artie, Claudia but cameos from the rest of the gang
Rating: M (it gets more M as it goes on)
Remember, we are comment whores. The more you comment the more we write. :)
x posted fic_wharehouse, artie_claudia
Chapter 1
Claudia knew that the idea behind revenge was to set the stakes higher with each act. For that reason, she waited for a morning when Artie was running late; sometimes he pressed the snooze button one too many times. Pete and Myka had already left for the day by the time Claudia was sneaking into the bathroom. She knew that Artie was shampooing his hair because he was singing “Paper Moon”; his eyes would be closed.
Quietly reaching upwards, Claudia closed one end of the handcuffs over the rod that held the shower curtain. In her other hand she held a glass of cold water. She would have to admit that Artie’s screech did make her giggle; it also made Artie raise his hand to his hair so that she was able to close the cuff around his wet wrist.
“Claudia!” he roared.
“Huh, a cold shower, Artie? Good thing Lauren isn’t here,” she grinned.
Artie quickly rinsed the rest of the shampoo from his wet curls, “I already apologized for that,” he reminded her, squinting threateningly as he jiggled the handcuff against the shower rod.
“Doesn’t mean it makes it any easier to see my man writing love poetry for another woman; artifact or no,” she explained. Then she gave him an especially sunny smile, “Knock, knock, Artie.”
Chapter 2
Artie was not sure when it had changed from revenge into a game, but it surely was one now. The cuffs were an ongoing challenge for supreme bragging rights, and Artie was never one to shy away from a challenge, especially one that had so much potential for creativity.
He had planned carefully, knowing that Claudia was on alert, and had even made sure to give her some false starts, accompanied with an innocent smile, before he decided that the time was right.
“The BEV won’t move unless your hands are on the bar,” Artie scolded as Claudia threw her head back and heaved a melodramatic sigh.
“I feel like a turtle could lap us when we use this thing,” Claudia whined. “Why do you insist on using this slow as molasses heap of tedium when we have faster, and much less dorky, options?”
“The BEV is one of the most energy efficient modes of transportation ever invented,” Artie explained. “Also, since we have to closely watch the shelves for the misplaced barrel of monkeys, it’s not a bad thing to go slowly and deliberately. Besides, I think that the hard hat is a good look on you.”
Claudia shot him a sour look and grumped, “Who would have thought that someone could lose something that loud?” She changed tactics as she slid into the front seat and smiled a sweet smile at Artie. “Can I drive?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.
“Claudia,” Artie said sternly, “Put your hands on the bar.” He knew exactly the reaction that was coming.
Claudia put her hands on the bar, bowed her head, and sighed in capitulation; exactly the reaction that Artie had hoped for. She always closed her eyes for a second when being so dramatic and, as soon as she did that, he looped the cuffs around the bar and snapped one on each of Claudia’s wrists.
Claudia let out a quick gasp as she felt the cold touch of the steel, and realized that she was now attached to the BEV. “Artie, hey now...” Claudia pleaded.
Artie rapped her on her hardhat covered head as he laughed and simply stated, “Knock knock.”
Chapter 3
It wasn’t usual for them to sit down to a family style dinner. Claudia always threw a huge fit about the activity but, secretly, she enjoyed these dinners; there had been too few of them in her own childhood. Of course, she could have done with a few less vegetables, but Leena insisted and, man, could that woman glare.
So, dishes of food were passed around, Pete had put on some nice old school Motown music, and conversations that were punctuated with lots of laughter followed the dishes of food.
Pete, Myka, and Leena were involved in a lively debate involving their opinions of the best Monster Ballad of all time. “Oh come on,” the muscles of Pete’s neck strained right along with the pleading look in his eyes and the slight whine in his voice, “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” is so obviously the best ever!”
Myka raised one eyebrow dramatically; “You’re kidding me, right? What about “More Than Words,” she touched one finger to her heart, “those hard core rockers,” she wiped away a fake tear, “cooling it down, sitting on wooden bar stools and crooning, the clapping and hair flipping…” Leena threw her fork down, and laughed hysterically into her mashed potatoes, as both Myka and Pete started singing their prospective songs trying to convince the other of their opinion.
“Hey, Artie,” Claudia asked the older man who was doing his best to read the evening paper and ignore the howling coming from the other end of the table.
Artie grunted and spared her a glance that lasted no more than a second.
“Could I have the spinach, please?” she asked sweetly.
Artie crossed his left hand over his plate to grab the bowl of steamed spinach, and continued to spear pieces of fried tofu with the fork in his right. He passed the bowl without looking up until the tinkling of a serving fork hitting the hard wood floor interrupted his reading.
“Whoops,” Claudia said, “sorry.”
Artie gave her a soft smile, and put the bowl of spinach on the table, “I’ll get it,” he told her. The clicking of the handcuffs stopped his rise from the floor, and he stared at Claudia’s bright green Converse as a small growl escaped his mouth. “Couldn’t we call a truce while we’re eating?” he asked as he moved the handcuff chain further up the table leg so that he could straighten.
Claudia glanced at the other end of the table to make sure they weren’t listening, “I’ll make it up to you with dessert,” she promised him.
Artie scanned the table, “There is no dessert,” he observed.
Claudia gave him a meaningful look, and then grinned, “Knock, knock.”
“Could we bring the handcuffs with us?” Artie asked quietly.
Leena, Pete, and Myka looked up questioningly as Claudia suddenly broke into peals of laughter.
Chapter 4
When Artie entered the office the next afternoon, he saw a panicky looking Claudia sitting in his chair, knees drawn up to her chin, fearfully staring at the suit of armor by the umbilicus door.
“What’s got you spooked?” Artie asked putting down his bag and peering toward the door. “Don’t tell me that you just realized that there is actually a skull in there.”
Claudia rolled her eyes, “Bones don’t bother me. Mice on the other hand…”
“There’s a mouse in the armor?” Artie asked, his eyes widening with surprise.
“Yeah it already scared Pete off,” she replied, not taking her eyes off the shiny metal. “You know how he totally freaks out with mice; if the durational spectrometer shows a mouse used to be somewhere, he’s out of there. He squealed and took off when we saw the tail disappear into the helmet.”
“There have been more mice around her than we usually have,” Artie admitted. “I’ll have to get out the Pied Piper Pipe and convince them to relocate.”
“Yeah, but what about the mouse that’s in the armor now?” Claudia asked with a note of panic in her voice. She glanced at Artie with a pleading look in her eyes. “I did the blood for you!” she accused, her eyes narrowing.
Artie sighed, “Fine, mice don’t bother me.” He picked up a piece of rope and a knitting needle, then handed Claudia a black glass jar. He motioned for her to follow him as he started to quietly walk to the suit of armor.
Claudia peeked over Artie’s shoulder. “Do not let that disgusting rodent run out and disappear in here somewhere. I’m not sure that I could work here knowing that it was lurking in some crack; it makes my skin crawl,” she whispered.
Artie bent down and flipped up the toe on one foot of the armor. As he peered into the dark hole, he held up his hand for the jar that Claudia was holding. As soon as he did this, he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The cuffs were clicking closed; one end on his wrist and one on the metal loop protruding from the chest of the armor.
“No mouse I presume,” he grumbled as he stood and shook his cuffed hand.
Claudia shook her head, a mischievous smile on her face. “Twice in a row; I’m just that good.”
“I believe that you are forgetting last night’s dessert,” Artie responded with eyebrows raised.
Claudia stepped closer, pressed herself against the length of his body, and kissed Artie long and deep.
“Doesn’t count if I volunteered,” Claudia teased when they broke apart. She lightly bit Artie on the neck, which caused his free hand to wrap around her waist and a growl to rumble deep in his chest. She wiggled out of his grasp, and smiled impishly.
“The score is Claudia three, Artie one. Knock, knock,” she thumped her knuckles on the armor’s helmet as she turned and walked out the door, blowing Artie a kiss over her shoulder.
Chapter 5
It was quite possible that Claudia’s screaming could be heard all the way back at Leena’s. Artie brought the Jag to an abrupt stop in front of the Warehouse, and gunned it slightly before setting the brake, and turning off the engine. He turned to Claudia and saw the younger woman’s mouth working like a dying fish, her hands clutched, white-knuckled, around the handle of his briefcase, and her skin the color of a Wensleydale cheese. “You look awful,” he stated.
“You, you,” Claudia huffed, “worst driver,” she swallowed audibly, “worst driver, ever!”
“Oh yeah?” Artie asked as he grinned, removing his sunglasses, “then why is it that my little Jag is still in mint condition?”
Claudia pointed to the dashboard, “Because you filched Erwin ‘Cannonball’ Baker’s speedometer from the Warehouse.”
Artie’s face blanched, “You, uh, know about that, huh?”
Claudia leaned over and kissed Artie softly on the mouth, and then smiled sweetly, “Good thing you can trust me.”
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It was nearing dinnertime when Artie buzzed Claudia on her Farnsworth. She answered the call with a mischievous grin, “Hey there, Sweetcheeks.”
Despite the fact that the Farnsworth screen was black and white, Claudia could see that Artie blushed, “Claudia, what have we agreed about relationship nicknames?”
Claudia smiled, “Hey, I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. You know a man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but, if he has fire, I’ll like him.”
Artie rolled his eyes theatrically, “Are you still inventorying the Mae West shelf?”
Claudia answered with, “When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.”
Artie squinted so that he could see Claudia better in the view screen, “Claudia, take off the boa,” he commanded.
She let the bright blue feathered thing slide from around her neck, and placed it back in its box, “You’re no fun, Artie,” she complained.
“You’re about to eat those words,” he informed her.
Claudia grinned wickedly at Artie’s attempt at a lascivious look, “Oh, realllly?” she asked.
“Yep,” Artie smiled smugly.
“We’re finally going to give the Sachor-Masoch swing a try?”
Artie sputtered and coughed violently; his image temporarily gone from Claudia’s view screen, “I,” he coughed, “uh not that kind of fun. I’m going to let you drive my Jag home tonight. Wish I’d never told you about that swing,” he muttered out of the side of his mouth.
“Can’t take it back; it’s already out there,” she laughed. “So you’re gonna let me touch your stick shift, Artie?” Claudia asked with an innocent tone.
“You definitely need a break from the Mae West aisle,” he growled. “Get up here to the office before I change my mind.”
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“So, you have had some experience with a stick shift, right?” Artie asked as Claudia turned the key in the Jag’s ignition.
She snickered at the adolescent double entendre, but tried to swallow her laughter when Artie glared at her, “Uh, yeah,” she said and cleared her throat as she sat up straight; trying to look serious about all this.
“Okay,” Artie said uncertainly, and placed his hand over Claudia’s where it gripped the stick, “I’m going to help you to shift at first so you can feel the motion.”
“Check,” Claudia said seriously.
“You need one hand on the wheel, and you need to look down at your feet so that you can be sure that they’re moving simultaneously,” he continued.
“Check,” Claudia said again, and trained her eyes on her baby blue Converse. She groaned with annoyance a half second after she heard the ratcheting clicks of two pairs of cuffs. “Are my shoes untied?” Claudia asked herself stupidly. “Why, yes they are!” she answered herself shrilly.
“Knock, knock,” Artie grinned. “I’d say that counts for two,” he judged, inclining his head first to the steering wheel where Claudia was securely cuffed and then to the stick shift where he’d managed to trap Claudia’s second hand; the other end of the cuffs having been secured to the track under the driver’s chair.
Claudia laughed shrilly, “Dream on, Artie!” she howled. “One point for each separate occasion; that’s what we agreed to.”
“We never agreed to a point system,” Artie said laughing.
“Oh, well, ya know,” Claudia said while looking around for something with which to escape her cuffs, “that’s what I would have agreed to,” she finished lamely.
“At least I didn’t trap you someplace boring,” Artie said as he simultaneously turned off the car’s engine and pointed to the large Hunter’s Moon that was slowly rising above the surrounding hills.
“Whooooaaaa,” Claudia gasped and settled back against her seat.
“But wait, there’s more,” Artie informed her as he slid over toward her and placed his lips against her bare neck. Claudia moaned low in her throat, and Artie continued, “I was keeping score during ‘dessert’ the other night.” Claudia threw him a questioning look and he shrugged, “Just for fun,” he said while kissing her neck. “But, the good news is, I owe you one.”
Claudia chuckled as Artie’s fingers started undoing her belt, “I think I’ve created a monster,” she observed and then gasped as Artie’s fingers slipped inside her panties.
Chapter 6
When Claudia snuck into Artie’s room the following night, he was, surprisingly, not there. There was, however, a note on his bed with the words “porch swing” in his distinctive scrawl.
“Romantic or diabolical?” Claudia wondered out loud as she touched her hip and made sure that the handcuffs were still securely tucked into the waistband of her pajama pants. “Only one way to find out,” she thought as she crept down the stairs.
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She was careful to silently creep up behind Artie so that when she whispered, “Midnight rendezvous?” in his ear, he startled and let out an audible gasp.
“Now who’s been a taking ninja lesson from Mrs. Frederic?” Artie charged as he quickly recovered and pulled Claudia around the end of the swing and onto his lap.
Claudia smiled sweetly and cooed, “One can never be too careful, especially these days.”
Artie chuckled, and pulled Claudia close to him. She responded by snuggling into his warm body and laying her head against his chest. “I hope that this isn’t an astronomy lesson,” she commented as she gazed out at the darkened sky.
“Not this time,” Artie replied, kissing the top of Claudia’s head gently. “It’s just such a beautiful night; it’s a shame not to enjoy it. It’s starting to feel like fall.”
They rocked gently for a few moments, enjoying the crispness of the night. “Autumn is my favorite season,” Claudia mentioned as she turned and straddled Artie’s legs. “And you are my favorite bedtime snack,” she murmured as she leaned in and kissed Artie, slowly and teasingly as she moved one hand down his chest and rested it on his upper thigh.
Artie responded in kind by gently tracing his hand down Claudia’s back until his fingers darted under the waistband of her pajamas. Claudia felt the distinctive circle in Artie’s pocket at the same moment that his hand brushed the metal tucked against her hip.
They both sprung apart, and into action, in a blur of movement. There were four sharp clicks and they both groaned in frustration as they felt themselves being caught, yet again. After the frantic grappling ceased, they pulled back to survey the situation.
“No flipping way,” Claudia groaned as she held up her shackled wrists. Both her wrists were trapped in one set of cuffs, and Artie’s in another, but the chains had become overlapped so that they were now stuck to each other in two intersecting circles.
“Now that’s a new one,” Artie chortled as he realized the conundrum that they had gotten themselves into.
“No points for anyone this round,” Claudia grumbled as she scanned the porch for something to aid her escape.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Artie scolded as he pulled his ensnared hands, and consequently Claudia, to him. “Stalemate or not, I can think of many worse things than being chained to you all night.”
Claudia sighed, and then a wicked grin spread across her face. “I suppose, after our delightful driving lesson the other day, that I should be kind enough to reciprocate.” She sank to her knees in front of Artie, her cuffed hands tugging at his waistband, as he stretched his hands to tangle in her hair. He let out a happy groan as Claudia traced her tongue up the length of his shaft.
“The game is still on,” Artie warned with the last bits of his control.
“As always,” Claudia affirmed as she took him into her mouth.
Title: Knock, Knock -Cuff Tales
Authors: Zombiechick and Abbysiuta
Characters: Mainly Artie, Claudia but cameos from the rest of the gang
Rating: M (it gets more M as it goes on)
Remember, we are comment whores. The more you comment the more we write. :)
x posted fic_wharehouse, artie_claudia
Chapter 1
Claudia knew that the idea behind revenge was to set the stakes higher with each act. For that reason, she waited for a morning when Artie was running late; sometimes he pressed the snooze button one too many times. Pete and Myka had already left for the day by the time Claudia was sneaking into the bathroom. She knew that Artie was shampooing his hair because he was singing “Paper Moon”; his eyes would be closed.
Quietly reaching upwards, Claudia closed one end of the handcuffs over the rod that held the shower curtain. In her other hand she held a glass of cold water. She would have to admit that Artie’s screech did make her giggle; it also made Artie raise his hand to his hair so that she was able to close the cuff around his wet wrist.
“Claudia!” he roared.
“Huh, a cold shower, Artie? Good thing Lauren isn’t here,” she grinned.
Artie quickly rinsed the rest of the shampoo from his wet curls, “I already apologized for that,” he reminded her, squinting threateningly as he jiggled the handcuff against the shower rod.
“Doesn’t mean it makes it any easier to see my man writing love poetry for another woman; artifact or no,” she explained. Then she gave him an especially sunny smile, “Knock, knock, Artie.”
Chapter 2
Artie was not sure when it had changed from revenge into a game, but it surely was one now. The cuffs were an ongoing challenge for supreme bragging rights, and Artie was never one to shy away from a challenge, especially one that had so much potential for creativity.
He had planned carefully, knowing that Claudia was on alert, and had even made sure to give her some false starts, accompanied with an innocent smile, before he decided that the time was right.
“The BEV won’t move unless your hands are on the bar,” Artie scolded as Claudia threw her head back and heaved a melodramatic sigh.
“I feel like a turtle could lap us when we use this thing,” Claudia whined. “Why do you insist on using this slow as molasses heap of tedium when we have faster, and much less dorky, options?”
“The BEV is one of the most energy efficient modes of transportation ever invented,” Artie explained. “Also, since we have to closely watch the shelves for the misplaced barrel of monkeys, it’s not a bad thing to go slowly and deliberately. Besides, I think that the hard hat is a good look on you.”
Claudia shot him a sour look and grumped, “Who would have thought that someone could lose something that loud?” She changed tactics as she slid into the front seat and smiled a sweet smile at Artie. “Can I drive?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.
“Claudia,” Artie said sternly, “Put your hands on the bar.” He knew exactly the reaction that was coming.
Claudia put her hands on the bar, bowed her head, and sighed in capitulation; exactly the reaction that Artie had hoped for. She always closed her eyes for a second when being so dramatic and, as soon as she did that, he looped the cuffs around the bar and snapped one on each of Claudia’s wrists.
Claudia let out a quick gasp as she felt the cold touch of the steel, and realized that she was now attached to the BEV. “Artie, hey now...” Claudia pleaded.
Artie rapped her on her hardhat covered head as he laughed and simply stated, “Knock knock.”
Chapter 3
It wasn’t usual for them to sit down to a family style dinner. Claudia always threw a huge fit about the activity but, secretly, she enjoyed these dinners; there had been too few of them in her own childhood. Of course, she could have done with a few less vegetables, but Leena insisted and, man, could that woman glare.
So, dishes of food were passed around, Pete had put on some nice old school Motown music, and conversations that were punctuated with lots of laughter followed the dishes of food.
Pete, Myka, and Leena were involved in a lively debate involving their opinions of the best Monster Ballad of all time. “Oh come on,” the muscles of Pete’s neck strained right along with the pleading look in his eyes and the slight whine in his voice, “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” is so obviously the best ever!”
Myka raised one eyebrow dramatically; “You’re kidding me, right? What about “More Than Words,” she touched one finger to her heart, “those hard core rockers,” she wiped away a fake tear, “cooling it down, sitting on wooden bar stools and crooning, the clapping and hair flipping…” Leena threw her fork down, and laughed hysterically into her mashed potatoes, as both Myka and Pete started singing their prospective songs trying to convince the other of their opinion.
“Hey, Artie,” Claudia asked the older man who was doing his best to read the evening paper and ignore the howling coming from the other end of the table.
Artie grunted and spared her a glance that lasted no more than a second.
“Could I have the spinach, please?” she asked sweetly.
Artie crossed his left hand over his plate to grab the bowl of steamed spinach, and continued to spear pieces of fried tofu with the fork in his right. He passed the bowl without looking up until the tinkling of a serving fork hitting the hard wood floor interrupted his reading.
“Whoops,” Claudia said, “sorry.”
Artie gave her a soft smile, and put the bowl of spinach on the table, “I’ll get it,” he told her. The clicking of the handcuffs stopped his rise from the floor, and he stared at Claudia’s bright green Converse as a small growl escaped his mouth. “Couldn’t we call a truce while we’re eating?” he asked as he moved the handcuff chain further up the table leg so that he could straighten.
Claudia glanced at the other end of the table to make sure they weren’t listening, “I’ll make it up to you with dessert,” she promised him.
Artie scanned the table, “There is no dessert,” he observed.
Claudia gave him a meaningful look, and then grinned, “Knock, knock.”
“Could we bring the handcuffs with us?” Artie asked quietly.
Leena, Pete, and Myka looked up questioningly as Claudia suddenly broke into peals of laughter.
Chapter 4
When Artie entered the office the next afternoon, he saw a panicky looking Claudia sitting in his chair, knees drawn up to her chin, fearfully staring at the suit of armor by the umbilicus door.
“What’s got you spooked?” Artie asked putting down his bag and peering toward the door. “Don’t tell me that you just realized that there is actually a skull in there.”
Claudia rolled her eyes, “Bones don’t bother me. Mice on the other hand…”
“There’s a mouse in the armor?” Artie asked, his eyes widening with surprise.
“Yeah it already scared Pete off,” she replied, not taking her eyes off the shiny metal. “You know how he totally freaks out with mice; if the durational spectrometer shows a mouse used to be somewhere, he’s out of there. He squealed and took off when we saw the tail disappear into the helmet.”
“There have been more mice around her than we usually have,” Artie admitted. “I’ll have to get out the Pied Piper Pipe and convince them to relocate.”
“Yeah, but what about the mouse that’s in the armor now?” Claudia asked with a note of panic in her voice. She glanced at Artie with a pleading look in her eyes. “I did the blood for you!” she accused, her eyes narrowing.
Artie sighed, “Fine, mice don’t bother me.” He picked up a piece of rope and a knitting needle, then handed Claudia a black glass jar. He motioned for her to follow him as he started to quietly walk to the suit of armor.
Claudia peeked over Artie’s shoulder. “Do not let that disgusting rodent run out and disappear in here somewhere. I’m not sure that I could work here knowing that it was lurking in some crack; it makes my skin crawl,” she whispered.
Artie bent down and flipped up the toe on one foot of the armor. As he peered into the dark hole, he held up his hand for the jar that Claudia was holding. As soon as he did this, he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The cuffs were clicking closed; one end on his wrist and one on the metal loop protruding from the chest of the armor.
“No mouse I presume,” he grumbled as he stood and shook his cuffed hand.
Claudia shook her head, a mischievous smile on her face. “Twice in a row; I’m just that good.”
“I believe that you are forgetting last night’s dessert,” Artie responded with eyebrows raised.
Claudia stepped closer, pressed herself against the length of his body, and kissed Artie long and deep.
“Doesn’t count if I volunteered,” Claudia teased when they broke apart. She lightly bit Artie on the neck, which caused his free hand to wrap around her waist and a growl to rumble deep in his chest. She wiggled out of his grasp, and smiled impishly.
“The score is Claudia three, Artie one. Knock, knock,” she thumped her knuckles on the armor’s helmet as she turned and walked out the door, blowing Artie a kiss over her shoulder.
Chapter 5
It was quite possible that Claudia’s screaming could be heard all the way back at Leena’s. Artie brought the Jag to an abrupt stop in front of the Warehouse, and gunned it slightly before setting the brake, and turning off the engine. He turned to Claudia and saw the younger woman’s mouth working like a dying fish, her hands clutched, white-knuckled, around the handle of his briefcase, and her skin the color of a Wensleydale cheese. “You look awful,” he stated.
“You, you,” Claudia huffed, “worst driver,” she swallowed audibly, “worst driver, ever!”
“Oh yeah?” Artie asked as he grinned, removing his sunglasses, “then why is it that my little Jag is still in mint condition?”
Claudia pointed to the dashboard, “Because you filched Erwin ‘Cannonball’ Baker’s speedometer from the Warehouse.”
Artie’s face blanched, “You, uh, know about that, huh?”
Claudia leaned over and kissed Artie softly on the mouth, and then smiled sweetly, “Good thing you can trust me.”
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It was nearing dinnertime when Artie buzzed Claudia on her Farnsworth. She answered the call with a mischievous grin, “Hey there, Sweetcheeks.”
Despite the fact that the Farnsworth screen was black and white, Claudia could see that Artie blushed, “Claudia, what have we agreed about relationship nicknames?”
Claudia smiled, “Hey, I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. You know a man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but, if he has fire, I’ll like him.”
Artie rolled his eyes theatrically, “Are you still inventorying the Mae West shelf?”
Claudia answered with, “When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.”
Artie squinted so that he could see Claudia better in the view screen, “Claudia, take off the boa,” he commanded.
She let the bright blue feathered thing slide from around her neck, and placed it back in its box, “You’re no fun, Artie,” she complained.
“You’re about to eat those words,” he informed her.
Claudia grinned wickedly at Artie’s attempt at a lascivious look, “Oh, realllly?” she asked.
“Yep,” Artie smiled smugly.
“We’re finally going to give the Sachor-Masoch swing a try?”
Artie sputtered and coughed violently; his image temporarily gone from Claudia’s view screen, “I,” he coughed, “uh not that kind of fun. I’m going to let you drive my Jag home tonight. Wish I’d never told you about that swing,” he muttered out of the side of his mouth.
“Can’t take it back; it’s already out there,” she laughed. “So you’re gonna let me touch your stick shift, Artie?” Claudia asked with an innocent tone.
“You definitely need a break from the Mae West aisle,” he growled. “Get up here to the office before I change my mind.”
WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13WH13
“So, you have had some experience with a stick shift, right?” Artie asked as Claudia turned the key in the Jag’s ignition.
She snickered at the adolescent double entendre, but tried to swallow her laughter when Artie glared at her, “Uh, yeah,” she said and cleared her throat as she sat up straight; trying to look serious about all this.
“Okay,” Artie said uncertainly, and placed his hand over Claudia’s where it gripped the stick, “I’m going to help you to shift at first so you can feel the motion.”
“Check,” Claudia said seriously.
“You need one hand on the wheel, and you need to look down at your feet so that you can be sure that they’re moving simultaneously,” he continued.
“Check,” Claudia said again, and trained her eyes on her baby blue Converse. She groaned with annoyance a half second after she heard the ratcheting clicks of two pairs of cuffs. “Are my shoes untied?” Claudia asked herself stupidly. “Why, yes they are!” she answered herself shrilly.
“Knock, knock,” Artie grinned. “I’d say that counts for two,” he judged, inclining his head first to the steering wheel where Claudia was securely cuffed and then to the stick shift where he’d managed to trap Claudia’s second hand; the other end of the cuffs having been secured to the track under the driver’s chair.
Claudia laughed shrilly, “Dream on, Artie!” she howled. “One point for each separate occasion; that’s what we agreed to.”
“We never agreed to a point system,” Artie said laughing.
“Oh, well, ya know,” Claudia said while looking around for something with which to escape her cuffs, “that’s what I would have agreed to,” she finished lamely.
“At least I didn’t trap you someplace boring,” Artie said as he simultaneously turned off the car’s engine and pointed to the large Hunter’s Moon that was slowly rising above the surrounding hills.
“Whooooaaaa,” Claudia gasped and settled back against her seat.
“But wait, there’s more,” Artie informed her as he slid over toward her and placed his lips against her bare neck. Claudia moaned low in her throat, and Artie continued, “I was keeping score during ‘dessert’ the other night.” Claudia threw him a questioning look and he shrugged, “Just for fun,” he said while kissing her neck. “But, the good news is, I owe you one.”
Claudia chuckled as Artie’s fingers started undoing her belt, “I think I’ve created a monster,” she observed and then gasped as Artie’s fingers slipped inside her panties.
Chapter 6
When Claudia snuck into Artie’s room the following night, he was, surprisingly, not there. There was, however, a note on his bed with the words “porch swing” in his distinctive scrawl.
“Romantic or diabolical?” Claudia wondered out loud as she touched her hip and made sure that the handcuffs were still securely tucked into the waistband of her pajama pants. “Only one way to find out,” she thought as she crept down the stairs.
WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13 WH13
She was careful to silently creep up behind Artie so that when she whispered, “Midnight rendezvous?” in his ear, he startled and let out an audible gasp.
“Now who’s been a taking ninja lesson from Mrs. Frederic?” Artie charged as he quickly recovered and pulled Claudia around the end of the swing and onto his lap.
Claudia smiled sweetly and cooed, “One can never be too careful, especially these days.”
Artie chuckled, and pulled Claudia close to him. She responded by snuggling into his warm body and laying her head against his chest. “I hope that this isn’t an astronomy lesson,” she commented as she gazed out at the darkened sky.
“Not this time,” Artie replied, kissing the top of Claudia’s head gently. “It’s just such a beautiful night; it’s a shame not to enjoy it. It’s starting to feel like fall.”
They rocked gently for a few moments, enjoying the crispness of the night. “Autumn is my favorite season,” Claudia mentioned as she turned and straddled Artie’s legs. “And you are my favorite bedtime snack,” she murmured as she leaned in and kissed Artie, slowly and teasingly as she moved one hand down his chest and rested it on his upper thigh.
Artie responded in kind by gently tracing his hand down Claudia’s back until his fingers darted under the waistband of her pajamas. Claudia felt the distinctive circle in Artie’s pocket at the same moment that his hand brushed the metal tucked against her hip.
They both sprung apart, and into action, in a blur of movement. There were four sharp clicks and they both groaned in frustration as they felt themselves being caught, yet again. After the frantic grappling ceased, they pulled back to survey the situation.
“No flipping way,” Claudia groaned as she held up her shackled wrists. Both her wrists were trapped in one set of cuffs, and Artie’s in another, but the chains had become overlapped so that they were now stuck to each other in two intersecting circles.
“Now that’s a new one,” Artie chortled as he realized the conundrum that they had gotten themselves into.
“No points for anyone this round,” Claudia grumbled as she scanned the porch for something to aid her escape.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Artie scolded as he pulled his ensnared hands, and consequently Claudia, to him. “Stalemate or not, I can think of many worse things than being chained to you all night.”
Claudia sighed, and then a wicked grin spread across her face. “I suppose, after our delightful driving lesson the other day, that I should be kind enough to reciprocate.” She sank to her knees in front of Artie, her cuffed hands tugging at his waistband, as he stretched his hands to tangle in her hair. He let out a happy groan as Claudia traced her tongue up the length of his shaft.
“The game is still on,” Artie warned with the last bits of his control.
“As always,” Claudia affirmed as she took him into her mouth.