The Past's Revenge: Chapter 12

[luna_dove]

Title: The Past's Revenge
Author: luna_dove
Summery: Michael Yardly, a dangerous enemy from Myka’s past, shows up bent on revenge. Years ago Myka put his brother in jail for the death of her sister, Tracy. Now he is determined to make Myka pay by targeting the family Myka has built for herself, especially one member that has filled the void of her

Comments

[sunkrux]

I'm gonna have to smack me some people for dissin' on Myka when they have no clue. ;)

Go Claudia but don't you dare yell at Myka for leaving.

Also a couple of corrections: 1- but seemed the most hopefully that she was coming back - “she absolutely adores you darling, anyone with eyes could see that”. It should be hopeful not hopefully ;)
2- The baseball bat had caused a dislocated her right shoulder I'd change it to The baseball bat dislocated her right shoulder because the way you have it now doesn't make sense.

Other than that...get on with the next chapter please. ;) LOL

[luna_dove]

Oops. Thanks for catching those!

Yes, your poor Myka and all the people angry with her. Well, I had to make it in character! I couldn't see Joshua not be upset with her (after all, he doesn't know why Claudia was so hurt) and Pete I think would be upset that Myka ran away from family, which is a big error in his book.

[sunkrux]

No worries.

I'm not saying their responses aren't in character, just that they have no clue as to why she left without telling them why. Sure they're going to be angry, but Pete is going to feel like a heel when he realizes why Myka left. Myka's afraid she damaged her relationship with Claudia and doesn't want to cause Claudia anymore pain...so she ran. Seems right to me. ;)

[luna_dove]

Yeah, but Pete's had weeks of watching a badly hurt Claudia in a coma - and Myka hasn't even once called to see how she's doing. He's going to be pissed.

But I'm glad you understand Myka's viewpoint. Means I'm doing my job. :)

[abbysiuta]

Glad to see Claudia on the mend, she better go smack some sense into Myka...

[luna_dove]

Well, maybe she won't smack Myka, but she's going to try and help her... ;)

Glad you liked the chapter!

[abbysiuta]

It was not meant literally. How about seriously talk some sense into her guilty brain? ;)

[sunkrux]

Okay that might work, but no smacking. Myka's done nothing wrong really. ;) *hug* Michael needs the smacking. Oh wait, he got that...from Myka. ;) LOL

[miss_bittens]

It says Claudia had "waken up," from her coma instead of "woken up." And there's also a past/present tense mixup near the top, saying "he had issues with the people he care about," instead of "cared about." And my apologies for using my first comment (I think so, although I might be forgetting one) to correct your grammar.

I can't stop reading this thing, although certain parts got pretty disturbing. I mean, I'm a horror nerd, so violence and gore don't tend to bother me, but I just don't like seeing someone beaten when they're helpless. Especially not with a baseball bat.

[luna_dove]

First time reviewer! *hugs*

Thank you for correcting my grammar. It helps me become a better writer. Between you and sunkrux, I'll have to be very careful with my proofreading! ;)

I'm glad you find this fic addicting, and that my writing was so intense (not that I like disturbing people, but it means I'm writing well, at least in my eyes).