update
the surgery was a total success. the actual valve repair only took 45 minutes. of course, that doesn't include the time it took to cut him open and swew him up, but i am amazed that they got such a major surgery done so well, so quickly. he was operated on by the top surgeon in the top hospital in the country, though, so maybe that was to be expected.
i slept a tiny bit at the hospital. i think i had the happiest "wake up" ever today. my mom woke me up and said that dad was alright. that's better than any wake n bake i could ever dream of.
even so, it was a very rough day for me. i was very nervous, but i couldn't show it. my mom was understandably erratic, and my sister was freaked out because she finally began to understand the intensity of the situation last night, only after being a complete selfish bitch in the previous weeks/months. so i kind of had to be the sane one. it was very, very difficult.
after the surgery was complete, we waited for a couple of hours and then we were allowed to go see him in ICU. we were only allowed to go in two at a time, so my mom and my sister went in first. they were only in a few minutes, as janet (mom's best friend) and i wanted to go in as well. my mom came out looking quite shaken and my sister was crying. he did look awful, although at the same time fantabulously wonderful for someone who just got out of open heart.
seeing him was difficult. he...had an oxygen mask on and a big tube sticking out of his neck. not to mention numerous other tubes sticking out of his chest an abdomen, carrying various bodily fluids to and fro. i've never seen my dad completely incapacitated before, and it hurt a lot. i love my parents very, very much, and i don't like to admit their mortality to myself. but...laying on that cot bed type thing in intensive care, my dad looked nearly dead. very frail and weak, and also very pale although he is well tanned. it scared me to come face to face with the fact that someday, he won't be there.
part of me wishes at times that i had horrible, normal folks who voted for bush, because then maybe i wouldn't care that much. i know that sounds horrible, but it scares me to know that the wonderful, talented, unique parents i was gifted with won't be there with me one day. in a way, i'm very glad i experience what i did today, because i feel as though i appreciate them that much more knowing that. but seeing that fact with my own two eyes (and the help of my snappy glasses) made me feel somewhat damaged.
i'm sorry, it's a difficult feeling to explain.
although, i do have a fun fact about my dad for you guys.
while he was going under for surgery, he listened to japanese koto music on the portable CD player he brought. he also packed radiohead, iggy pop, and the smashing pumpkins for his recovery. :)
i want to thank all of you for you thoughts and prayers. keep em coming, if you can. he still needs them.
i'll update tomorrow about what's going on with me. i'm too tired to type anymore.
i slept a tiny bit at the hospital. i think i had the happiest "wake up" ever today. my mom woke me up and said that dad was alright. that's better than any wake n bake i could ever dream of.
even so, it was a very rough day for me. i was very nervous, but i couldn't show it. my mom was understandably erratic, and my sister was freaked out because she finally began to understand the intensity of the situation last night, only after being a complete selfish bitch in the previous weeks/months. so i kind of had to be the sane one. it was very, very difficult.
after the surgery was complete, we waited for a couple of hours and then we were allowed to go see him in ICU. we were only allowed to go in two at a time, so my mom and my sister went in first. they were only in a few minutes, as janet (mom's best friend) and i wanted to go in as well. my mom came out looking quite shaken and my sister was crying. he did look awful, although at the same time fantabulously wonderful for someone who just got out of open heart.
seeing him was difficult. he...had an oxygen mask on and a big tube sticking out of his neck. not to mention numerous other tubes sticking out of his chest an abdomen, carrying various bodily fluids to and fro. i've never seen my dad completely incapacitated before, and it hurt a lot. i love my parents very, very much, and i don't like to admit their mortality to myself. but...laying on that cot bed type thing in intensive care, my dad looked nearly dead. very frail and weak, and also very pale although he is well tanned. it scared me to come face to face with the fact that someday, he won't be there.
part of me wishes at times that i had horrible, normal folks who voted for bush, because then maybe i wouldn't care that much. i know that sounds horrible, but it scares me to know that the wonderful, talented, unique parents i was gifted with won't be there with me one day. in a way, i'm very glad i experience what i did today, because i feel as though i appreciate them that much more knowing that. but seeing that fact with my own two eyes (and the help of my snappy glasses) made me feel somewhat damaged.
i'm sorry, it's a difficult feeling to explain.
although, i do have a fun fact about my dad for you guys.
while he was going under for surgery, he listened to japanese koto music on the portable CD player he brought. he also packed radiohead, iggy pop, and the smashing pumpkins for his recovery. :)
i want to thank all of you for you thoughts and prayers. keep em coming, if you can. he still needs them.
i'll update tomorrow about what's going on with me. i'm too tired to type anymore.