REVISIONS The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification: ● Due to some disorganization and grammar/spelling issues in the personality section the moderators found this particular hard to read and slightly contradicting.
● We would also like to request that the entity known as Justice be covered in more depth. Specifically how it effects his personality and development throughout the game. Does he possess a passive or more active voice when it comes to Ander's every day life.
● The moderators would also specifically like to see an expansion made to his position section. As a teacher he will required to teach, so type of curriculum will be cover with his students? Will there be focuses in such areas as anatomy, physiology, application, theory, and given the war time nature, healing during combat ( something Anders is apt at )?
Please reply with your revisions as a comment to this comment within 72 hours so that the mods can see the changes made to your app. Thank you!
Revisions 1/3wardennolongerDecember 12 2011, 22:52:56 UTC
Here I have revised the Personality section in hopes that it will be a clearer read. I have also included more detail on Justice. The changes were also applied to the main application. The additions to the Position section will be added shortly. Thank you
I have to state right away that Anders is a very complicated character. It's hard to even know where to begin! I may end up describing a little history here, to give my description of his personality context.
When he was 12 he was taken away from his parents, and sent to The Circle, which is a sort of prison-meets-school for people born with magic. This gave him a deep sense of injustice about the way mages are treated in his society, because he never had a choice about going there or not. In Thedas, if you are born with magic you MUST go to The Circle (and are never allowed to leave). Though Anders harbored the feeling that he was being unjustly kept, he was not outright vocal about it. In his youth he was playful, teasing, cheeky, and generally a warm person.
Anders spent his youth learning the art of magic from those mages trapped with him inside The Circle, however he never tried to stop escaping. This shows his strong determination and will, and also highlights that he is very willing to keep fighting for what he believes in, despite any obstacle. There would be punishments with each failed escape, but he kept trying none the less.
Anders is very willing to break the rules and risk the punishment if it's for something he believes in, like the freedom that he believes that he and other mages deserve.
Anders does come off as a joker and a bit lecherous (he teases quite a bit, with and without innuendo) but there is an unyielding stubbornness underneath. At this point in his life, Anders was capable of being more selfish; he would often drink, and fool around sexually with other mages of the circle, and otherwise do things in order to momentarily forget the injustice he and they faced when he could.
Something that changed Anders quite a bit was his fusion with Justice, a spirit from The Fade (which is the world all magic comes from in his verse).
The Fade is a world of dreams from which all magic runs in Anders’ cannon. It is a place populated with both spirits, and demons. Spirits are often benevolent and helpful, and take the form of things like Valor and Justice. Demons on the other hand take the forms of Sloth, Greed, and so on. It is unknown how Justice became trapped outside The Fade, but when Anders found him, he was haunting the rotting corpse of a human in order to survive. Without a proper vessel, he would die.
Anders was touched by the spirit's plight; Justice had seen the terrible way that mages were treated in Anders’ world. He wanted to work with Anders to bring justice to every child ripped away from his or her mother to be brought to The Circle. Thus, Anders allowed the spirit into himself, which is considered a big taboo by mage’s standards.
Re: Revisions 2/3wardennolongerDecember 12 2011, 22:53:35 UTC
When they fused, both of them changed. Anders says that he thinks his own anger at The Templars (the "mage police", essentially) changed Justice, who he is now irreversibly fused with. When fused with Anders, Justice took in all of his anger and became fierce, frightening, and vicious, more fitting of the name Vengeance. Anders lost his spirit friend and was instead sharing headspace with a cruel hard force of hatred towards those who had ever acted unjustly. Because of this, Anders lost a lot of his lightheartedness.
After the fusion, Anders' harder and more serious side was brought to light. He still jokes and makes light, but he’s also quicker to stir the pot about issues that he believes are important. Whereas he used to be able to shy away from the bigger picture (relating to the plight of mages), he was now wholly concerned with it. He has no choice but to fight for the rights of mages everywhere whenever the opportunity arises, because it is what Justice (and thus, what he himself) demands.
Because of Justice, Anders loses a little of the things he used to enjoy; he feels guilty about getting drunk, and feels that he does not deserve love nor to be with another physically. He feels these thoughts as his own, even though he never would have thought them prior to Justice. Outwardly one might not be able to tell the difference between before-justice-anders and after-justice-anders, because the change was great but mostly under the surface.
Anders’ hatred for those who would oppress mages grew deeper and darker, fueled by Justice-turned-Vengeance to the point where he regards all Templars with utter disgust. It blinds him. His disgust is so great that it loosens his control on himself, allowing Justice to sometimes slip out and take control of him. This is a very rare happening, however, and only goes down under extreme circumstances (For example, when The Templars brain-washed his lover).
In everyday life, Justice is a more passive voice. For example, say Anders was drinking in a bar and he happened to spot some students bullying another. Pre-Justice, he may have favoured finishing his glass/ignoring the bullying all together, but post-justice he must abandon his own pleasures and jump to the victim’s aid, right away.
Some other traits that should be described to complete the picture of Anders’ personality are as follows: Anders is daring, with more regard for what he cares about than the rules. He will risk his own life, and the lives of others for "the greater good". Anders is also cannonly pansexual. In game, he states he's always believed that you fall in love with a whole person, and not just a body.
When faced with an issue that he cannot solve despite all of his best efforts, Anders can also become a somber, pessimistic individual. He lacks the ability to cope in the ways he once did (drinking, sex, ect) and it grates on him, sometimes forcing him to take drastic measures to solve whatever issue that is troubling him. This is because Justice does not allow him to rest until he corrects whatever wrongs he perceives. Anders must always do the “right” thing, even if it is not the easy thing.
In terms of house, I think Anders is one hundred percent Gryffindor, for all the traits described above. I would really like him to be a professor, also.;
Though, that being said, Anders does have a real humanitarian side, too. He does run a clinic in a town full of sick refugees, and he serves them all without charging a thing. He generally is friendly and likes to help people if he can (mages/magic folk especially) so for that reason, I can see him fitting into Hufflepuff.
But yes. Gryffindor is my number one choice, which I would really like to see him in.
As for what Anders would be teaching, below I’ll include a rough outline of the curriculum, as requested :)
Unit 1: Healing Potions (Level One) •The proper collection/storage/treatment of healing herbs --What Herbs to use --How to properly collect them --Cleaning them/preparing them for brewing
•The creation of lesser healing potions (cures minor to intermediate injuries: scratches, bruises, cuts, first and second degree burns, ect) --Proper recipe/preparation --Appropriate wounds/injuries that can be treated with this potion
•The Creation of Greater Healing Potion (Heals intermediate to severe injuries: broken bones, fractures, third and fourth degree burns, major lacerations, so on) --Proper recipe/preparation --Appropriate wounds to be treated
•Brewing a Stamina Drought --Proper recipe/preparation --Appropriate uses
Unit 2: Healing Spells for Combat
Spells to be covered: 1.Vigoratus (Cannonly, Heal) 2.Vigoratus Totus (Cannonly, Aid Allies/Heal multiple targets) 3.Excito (Cannonly, Regroup/awake from unconsciousness)
The first spell will be taught in a classroom setting, under no additional pressure. Once the students are comfortable with that, classes will be moved outdoors, with distractions (bludgers flying around, for example) Students will have to both defend themselves, and heal their partners for the activity.
The same will be done for the second spell, and the same for the third (Fainting Fancies will be used in the case of the third).
Final Exam: Students are presented with three different written situations describing a need for a kind of healing magic to be done; they must describe what they would do in the given situation and why.
WELCOME TO HOGWARTS! You have been sorted into GRYFFINDOR! Please follow THESE instructions. Feel free to introduce yourself on the OOC community before hopping into the game!
REVISIONS
The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification:
● Due to some disorganization and grammar/spelling issues in the personality section the moderators found this particular hard to read and slightly contradicting.
● We would also like to request that the entity known as Justice be covered in more depth. Specifically how it effects his personality and development throughout the game. Does he possess a passive or more active voice when it comes to Ander's every day life.
● The moderators would also specifically like to see an expansion made to his position section. As a teacher he will required to teach, so type of curriculum will be cover with his students? Will there be focuses in such areas as anatomy, physiology, application, theory, and given the war time nature, healing during combat ( something Anders is apt at )?
Please reply with your revisions as a comment to this comment within 72 hours so that the mods can see the changes made to your app. Thank you!
Reply
I have to state right away that Anders is a very complicated character. It's hard to even know where to begin! I may end up describing a little history here, to give my description of his personality context.
When he was 12 he was taken away from his parents, and sent to The Circle, which is a sort of prison-meets-school for people born with magic. This gave him a deep sense of injustice about the way mages are treated in his society, because he never had a choice about going there or not. In Thedas, if you are born with magic you MUST go to The Circle (and are never allowed to leave). Though Anders harbored the feeling that he was being unjustly kept, he was not outright vocal about it. In his youth he was playful, teasing, cheeky, and generally a warm person.
Anders spent his youth learning the art of magic from those mages trapped with him inside The Circle, however he never tried to stop escaping. This shows his strong determination and will, and also highlights that he is very willing to keep fighting for what he believes in, despite any obstacle. There would be punishments with each failed escape, but he kept trying none the less.
Anders is very willing to break the rules and risk the punishment if it's for something he believes in, like the freedom that he believes that he and other mages deserve.
Anders does come off as a joker and a bit lecherous (he teases quite a bit, with and without innuendo) but there is an unyielding stubbornness underneath. At this point in his life, Anders was capable of being more selfish; he would often drink, and fool around sexually with other mages of the circle, and otherwise do things in order to momentarily forget the injustice he and they faced when he could.
Something that changed Anders quite a bit was his fusion with Justice, a spirit from The Fade (which is the world all magic comes from in his verse).
The Fade is a world of dreams from which all magic runs in Anders’ cannon. It is a place populated with both spirits, and demons. Spirits are often benevolent and helpful, and take the form of things like Valor and Justice. Demons on the other hand take the forms of Sloth, Greed, and so on.
It is unknown how Justice became trapped outside The Fade, but when Anders found him, he was haunting the rotting corpse of a human in order to survive. Without a proper vessel, he would die.
Anders was touched by the spirit's plight; Justice had seen the terrible way that mages were treated in Anders’ world. He wanted to work with Anders to bring justice to every child ripped away from his or her mother to be brought to The Circle. Thus, Anders allowed the spirit into himself, which is considered a big taboo by mage’s standards.
Reply
After the fusion, Anders' harder and more serious side was brought to light. He still jokes and makes light, but he’s also quicker to stir the pot about issues that he believes are important. Whereas he used to be able to shy away from the bigger picture (relating to the plight of mages), he was now wholly concerned with it. He has no choice but to fight for the rights of mages everywhere whenever the opportunity arises, because it is what Justice (and thus, what he himself) demands.
Because of Justice, Anders loses a little of the things he used to enjoy; he feels guilty about getting drunk, and feels that he does not deserve love nor to be with another physically. He feels these thoughts as his own, even though he never would have thought them prior to Justice. Outwardly one might not be able to tell the difference between before-justice-anders and after-justice-anders, because the change was great but mostly under the surface.
Anders’ hatred for those who would oppress mages grew deeper and darker, fueled by Justice-turned-Vengeance to the point where he regards all Templars with utter disgust. It blinds him. His disgust is so great that it loosens his control on himself, allowing Justice to sometimes slip out and take control of him. This is a very rare happening, however, and only goes down under extreme circumstances (For example, when The Templars brain-washed his lover).
In everyday life, Justice is a more passive voice. For example, say Anders was drinking in a bar and he happened to spot some students bullying another. Pre-Justice, he may have favoured finishing his glass/ignoring the bullying all together, but post-justice he must abandon his own pleasures and jump to the victim’s aid, right away.
Some other traits that should be described to complete the picture of Anders’ personality are as follows: Anders is daring, with more regard for what he cares about than the rules. He will risk his own life, and the lives of others for "the greater good".
Anders is also cannonly pansexual. In game, he states he's always believed that you fall in love with a whole person, and not just a body.
When faced with an issue that he cannot solve despite all of his best efforts, Anders can also become a somber, pessimistic individual. He lacks the ability to cope in the ways he once did (drinking, sex, ect) and it grates on him, sometimes forcing him to take drastic measures to solve whatever issue that is troubling him. This is because Justice does not allow him to rest until he corrects whatever wrongs he perceives. Anders must always do the “right” thing, even if it is not the easy thing.
In terms of house, I think Anders is one hundred percent Gryffindor, for all the traits described above. I would really like him to be a professor, also.;
Though, that being said, Anders does have a real humanitarian side, too. He does run a clinic in a town full of sick refugees, and he serves them all without charging a thing. He generally is friendly and likes to help people if he can (mages/magic folk especially) so for that reason, I can see him fitting into Hufflepuff.
But yes. Gryffindor is my number one choice, which I would really like to see him in.
Reply
Unit 1: Healing Potions (Level One)
•The proper collection/storage/treatment of healing herbs
--What Herbs to use
--How to properly collect them
--Cleaning them/preparing them for brewing
•The creation of lesser healing potions (cures minor to intermediate injuries: scratches, bruises, cuts, first and second degree burns, ect)
--Proper recipe/preparation
--Appropriate wounds/injuries that can be treated with this potion
•The Creation of Greater Healing Potion (Heals intermediate to severe injuries: broken bones, fractures, third and fourth degree burns, major lacerations, so on)
--Proper recipe/preparation
--Appropriate wounds to be treated
•Brewing a Stamina Drought
--Proper recipe/preparation
--Appropriate uses
Unit 2: Healing Spells for Combat
Spells to be covered:
1.Vigoratus (Cannonly, Heal)
2.Vigoratus Totus (Cannonly, Aid Allies/Heal multiple targets)
3.Excito (Cannonly, Regroup/awake from unconsciousness)
The first spell will be taught in a classroom setting, under no additional pressure. Once the students are comfortable with that, classes will be moved outdoors, with distractions (bludgers flying around, for example) Students will have to both defend themselves, and heal their partners for the activity.
The same will be done for the second spell, and the same for the third (Fainting Fancies will be used in the case of the third).
Unit 3: Healing Potions (Level 2)
The same as unit one, but with these different potions:
Life Ward Potion
Restoration Potion
Final Exam: Students are presented with three different written situations describing a need for a kind of healing magic to be done; they must describe what they would do in the given situation and why.
Reply
WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!
You have been sorted into GRYFFINDOR!
Please follow THESE instructions.
Feel free to introduce yourself on the OOC community before hopping into the game!
Reply
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