REVISIONS The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification: ● Due to some disorganization and grammar/spelling issues in the personality section the moderators found this particular hard to read and slightly contradicting.
● We would also like to request that the entity known as Justice be covered in more depth. Specifically how it effects his personality and development throughout the game. Does he possess a passive or more active voice when it comes to Ander's every day life.
● The moderators would also specifically like to see an expansion made to his position section. As a teacher he will required to teach, so type of curriculum will be cover with his students? Will there be focuses in such areas as anatomy, physiology, application, theory, and given the war time nature, healing during combat ( something Anders is apt at )?
Please reply with your revisions as a comment to this comment within 72 hours so that the mods can see the
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Revisions 1/3wardennolongerDecember 12 2011, 22:52:56 UTC
Here I have revised the Personality section in hopes that it will be a clearer read. I have also included more detail on Justice. The changes were also applied to the main application. The additions to the Position section will be added shortly. Thank youI have to state right away that Anders is a very complicated character. It's hard to even know where to begin! I may end up describing a little history here, to give my description of his personality context
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Re: Revisions 2/3wardennolongerDecember 12 2011, 22:53:35 UTC
When they fused, both of them changed. Anders says that he thinks his own anger at The Templars (the "mage police", essentially) changed Justice, who he is now irreversibly fused with. When fused with Anders, Justice took in all of his anger and became fierce, frightening, and vicious, more fitting of the name Vengeance. Anders lost his spirit friend and was instead sharing headspace with a cruel hard force of hatred towards those who had ever acted unjustly. Because of this, Anders lost a lot of his lightheartedness
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Comments 5
REVISIONS
The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification:
● Due to some disorganization and grammar/spelling issues in the personality section the moderators found this particular hard to read and slightly contradicting.
● We would also like to request that the entity known as Justice be covered in more depth. Specifically how it effects his personality and development throughout the game. Does he possess a passive or more active voice when it comes to Ander's every day life.
● The moderators would also specifically like to see an expansion made to his position section. As a teacher he will required to teach, so type of curriculum will be cover with his students? Will there be focuses in such areas as anatomy, physiology, application, theory, and given the war time nature, healing during combat ( something Anders is apt at )?
Please reply with your revisions as a comment to this comment within 72 hours so that the mods can see the ( ... )
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