nothing really
hi everyone,
you probably have removed me from your friends list but i will write anyway.
couple of weeks ago, i got a call late at night from my father. first thought, oh no, somethings happened, well, i was right. My grandmother on my fathers side had died, rather quickly and painless. Nurse heard a sound that sounded like choking and by the time she went in she was gone. I tell you, shock was one of many things that hit me, i just stood there, i had to ask about 5 times what he was saying. That night still echos in my head, i even think i still dont believe it. She out lived all of my grandparents, hell we thought she would outlive all of us!
We were'nt close, i havent even seen her in 4 years esp. when i moved up north two years ago.
The thing is, i guess its so sad because she WAS the last of them. Then i feel guilty cause i should not feel as bad as my father has to feel, he is now an orphan. I dont know, just kind of confusing and such. Something that went so fast, i mean just two weeks before her death, her sister had died, then her next door nieghbor of like 40 years died a week later, then her. Talk about coming in threes.
it just does not feel real to me at times, i keep thinking man next visit i will have to visit her again...but there wont be a next time will there be....
It was eerie walking through that house, so empty, cold...all those memories in there, i almost broke down two days after the funeral while in there, seeing my brother and sister, walking through the house with my dad seeing what pictures we want or would like to have.
Never seen my dad that way in a long time, the locked down but onthe verge of breaking any minute mode...last i saw it was his dads passing few years ago.
I know this has dragged on for a bit, sorry, just been a wierd month...
to those of you back in louisiana sorry i was not able to see you while i was there for the funeral you know who you are..next time i visit i will stay longer :)
it still doesnt feel right...but im sure i will work through the motions like life does
i need sleep, nite
you probably have removed me from your friends list but i will write anyway.
couple of weeks ago, i got a call late at night from my father. first thought, oh no, somethings happened, well, i was right. My grandmother on my fathers side had died, rather quickly and painless. Nurse heard a sound that sounded like choking and by the time she went in she was gone. I tell you, shock was one of many things that hit me, i just stood there, i had to ask about 5 times what he was saying. That night still echos in my head, i even think i still dont believe it. She out lived all of my grandparents, hell we thought she would outlive all of us!
We were'nt close, i havent even seen her in 4 years esp. when i moved up north two years ago.
The thing is, i guess its so sad because she WAS the last of them. Then i feel guilty cause i should not feel as bad as my father has to feel, he is now an orphan. I dont know, just kind of confusing and such. Something that went so fast, i mean just two weeks before her death, her sister had died, then her next door nieghbor of like 40 years died a week later, then her. Talk about coming in threes.
it just does not feel real to me at times, i keep thinking man next visit i will have to visit her again...but there wont be a next time will there be....
It was eerie walking through that house, so empty, cold...all those memories in there, i almost broke down two days after the funeral while in there, seeing my brother and sister, walking through the house with my dad seeing what pictures we want or would like to have.
Never seen my dad that way in a long time, the locked down but onthe verge of breaking any minute mode...last i saw it was his dads passing few years ago.
I know this has dragged on for a bit, sorry, just been a wierd month...
to those of you back in louisiana sorry i was not able to see you while i was there for the funeral you know who you are..next time i visit i will stay longer :)
it still doesnt feel right...but im sure i will work through the motions like life does
i need sleep, nite