I wanted to have a temper tantrum in my LJ safe zone. I was selfishly mad at people for being able to be selfish in the self-preservation way when I couldn't. Reality is not the same as this account of my perception of it. Dan is fine. This is a pattern with my sister that is something I should just stop expecting to be different. She's been like this since teen years and I keep getting mad at her for it instead of just expecting her to be that way because she is that way.
Brad, you have had a terrible six months. That is awful. I knew things were rough but was not aware of the extent. I have had a shitty year so far with only a third of what you've had to deal with. It is just hard to devote the time and energy it takes to pull yourself out of a funk because it's easier to be sad, hurt, and angry because honestly, look at all there is to legitimately be sad, hurt, and angry about.
Hugs help.
Hugs, Brad. All the hugs. I am so grateful you are here for me in my safe zone. I am here for you. These things are things it is possible to get over. It is just exponentially harder when there are five of them to deal with at once. It makes getting the bills paid on time a near impossible task. In reality, that's probably the most normal, easy thing to accomplish. I am going to start trying to take care of my own negative emotions instead of just getting mad at my boyfriend for not being able to take care of them for me because REALLY I am so much smarter than that.
I'm pretty sure you're still sticking to your "tolerate other human differences" guns and that's the Brad I know and love. I also love your sense of humor, which may have changed, but I'm pretty sure the new Brad will have to meet the newish Bekah and we'll be fine, I'm sure.
I know you weren't judging my tantrum, I got all judge-y on myself for a minute. I'm over the tantrum and at the root of what was bugging me and I feel much better today. A little bit of lightness like one weight was removed from the pile on top of me. It's not all better, but it's not as bad anymore and that feels fine.
Brad, you have had a terrible six months. That is awful. I knew things were rough but was not aware of the extent. I have had a shitty year so far with only a third of what you've had to deal with. It is just hard to devote the time and energy it takes to pull yourself out of a funk because it's easier to be sad, hurt, and angry because honestly, look at all there is to legitimately be sad, hurt, and angry about.
Hugs help.
Hugs, Brad. All the hugs. I am so grateful you are here for me in my safe zone. I am here for you. These things are things it is possible to get over. It is just exponentially harder when there are five of them to deal with at once. It makes getting the bills paid on time a near impossible task. In reality, that's probably the most normal, easy thing to accomplish. I am going to start trying to take care of my own negative emotions instead of just getting mad at my boyfriend for not being able to take care of them for me because REALLY I am so much smarter than that.
I miss you.
More hugs. <3
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I know you weren't judging my tantrum, I got all judge-y on myself for a minute. I'm over the tantrum and at the root of what was bugging me and I feel much better today. A little bit of lightness like one weight was removed from the pile on top of me. It's not all better, but it's not as bad anymore and that feels fine.
Reply
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