You say that I treat you like a book on a shelf...
Why is it that when men (or women who are not good communicators) do not want to tell someone they made a choice that will hurt their feelings their solution is to evade questions about that choice? If you are going to tell someone something that you feel will have a negative impact, the correct course of action is NOT to just not tell them because you don't want to deal with their feelings about it. ESPECIALLY when they ask you a question you know damn well is aimed at getting to the truth of the matter. When they ask you the question you KNOW is aimed at getting you to admit you made a choice that excludes their feelings, you should tell them the truth so you can both move on, right? NOPE they decide to give just enough of an answer so the question is technically answered, but you did not reveal the relevant information they were seeking. Why did they ask you a vague question instead of a direct one, isn't that just as bad? They were giving you a second chance at not being a dick.
Why is it that the offended party always has to drag the truth out of the offender? If you made a choice that excludes a friend's feelings, you are going to hurt their feelings when you tell them about it. Whether you tell them right away or later, it is going to hurt their feelings. It would be MUCH better to just tell them in the first place and deal with the outcome. Men think they can avoid that by dancing around the truth and just not admitting they made a choice. It's a choice they don't feel bad about so they don't feel the need to explain themselves, but when you are friends with someone, you don't have to feel bad about something to be honest about it. You are honest about the good and bad with friends because if I wanted someone to lie to me, I'd make friends with more dishonest people.
"If I don't tell them, their feelings will not be hurt and I won't have to deal with them (her) getting upset." The only way to not hurt their feelings is to not make choices that exclude their feelings in the first place and to have the backbone to be proactive about lessening the blow when you do make those decisions. The only way to avoid a big fallout is to be up front and honest and take the small discomfort over the larger one that comes with evasion. When someone needs to drag it out of you, it's adding insult to injury and you've made the situation much worse than it ever needed to be.
Yes, this is my personal experience.
Yes, I'm generalizing by saying "men."
Yes, this is about something specific that happened today that I'm choosing to be vague about, but it is also a recurring annoyance in my life.
This time it just happened to break my heart. A "friend" broke my heart in a very special, personal way today. I don't know if I can continue to be friends with this person because after eleven years of damn friendship you'd think I'd be worth the truth, or at least a phone call when you do finally get caught and have to fess up.
I am also made angrier by my boyfriend's inability to deal with my emotions on this subject as he is one of said men who cannot deal with intense female emotions so he would rather avoid them if possible.
I just can't believe this friend of mine. He is basically saying (well, not saying and that's the point of this rant) that he doesn't care about me anymore. At least not on any sort of non-superficial level.
Fuckingpsinelessdicklesscowardlybastardsonofabitchasshole.
Why is it that the offended party always has to drag the truth out of the offender? If you made a choice that excludes a friend's feelings, you are going to hurt their feelings when you tell them about it. Whether you tell them right away or later, it is going to hurt their feelings. It would be MUCH better to just tell them in the first place and deal with the outcome. Men think they can avoid that by dancing around the truth and just not admitting they made a choice. It's a choice they don't feel bad about so they don't feel the need to explain themselves, but when you are friends with someone, you don't have to feel bad about something to be honest about it. You are honest about the good and bad with friends because if I wanted someone to lie to me, I'd make friends with more dishonest people.
"If I don't tell them, their feelings will not be hurt and I won't have to deal with them (her) getting upset." The only way to not hurt their feelings is to not make choices that exclude their feelings in the first place and to have the backbone to be proactive about lessening the blow when you do make those decisions. The only way to avoid a big fallout is to be up front and honest and take the small discomfort over the larger one that comes with evasion. When someone needs to drag it out of you, it's adding insult to injury and you've made the situation much worse than it ever needed to be.
Yes, this is my personal experience.
Yes, I'm generalizing by saying "men."
Yes, this is about something specific that happened today that I'm choosing to be vague about, but it is also a recurring annoyance in my life.
This time it just happened to break my heart. A "friend" broke my heart in a very special, personal way today. I don't know if I can continue to be friends with this person because after eleven years of damn friendship you'd think I'd be worth the truth, or at least a phone call when you do finally get caught and have to fess up.
I am also made angrier by my boyfriend's inability to deal with my emotions on this subject as he is one of said men who cannot deal with intense female emotions so he would rather avoid them if possible.
I just can't believe this friend of mine. He is basically saying (well, not saying and that's the point of this rant) that he doesn't care about me anymore. At least not on any sort of non-superficial level.
Fuckingpsinelessdicklesscowardlybastardsonofabitchasshole.