Know Thy Enemy - Pt 1
The following is a public awareness program for the Iranian public so they may know what/who they will be dealing with in the very near future.
Official Name - The United States of America*.
Capital - Israel
Currency - The Dollar
Religion - The Dollar
Population - 498 People and 290 million drones.
Flag
*Sometimes credited as The United states of Amnesia due to the short attention span of its inhabitants. Example -
American - I have seen through the bullshit about the War On Terror and/or Iraq and can no longer support this government.
Fox News - Today’s top story! Kitten found stuck in fridge after 6 weeks!
American - Awwwww… Kitty!!!!
The Country (A brief history)
America was “discovered” by the great Christopher Columbus, which was void of any human life when his voyages led him to his abundant yet vacant land. (Some people argue that the native Indians lived there and that their lands were raped and their women conquered. But that is all a myth because we all know that Indians were created in 1965 to play the bad guys in some old western types)
Soon after there was A Civil War which although is thoroughly and comprehensively taught in the nation’s history books (and almost every other book) I personally find it a tad boring because there were a lot more greater wars before and after this particular one and I’d rather educate myself in matters other than those that are within the boundary of one country. Although I do not condone the government of spoon feeding them rhetorical crap because after all they have to mould the nation’s youth into the perfect consumer, patriot and soldier.
America is based on the idea of democracy (I mean just look at the last two elections) and freedom of speech (Fox news, CNN, NBC and all other government controlled media) and they are fond of rubbing that piece of information into the collective noses of the world’s other countries on a daily basis.
The People
The general population of America is known as Americans (derived from the word Americanusis Idiota) who thrive in their natural habitat i.e. McDonalds and Burger King. They are a very opinionated, outspoken and arrogant people and by that I mean close minded, self centered and ego maniacal morons. They strongly believe in their right to free speech which is quite a waste for most of them as they are incapable of stringing together a chain of thought to interpret it in a form of a coherent sentence.
Their main pastimes consists of Eating, watching sports no one else in the world watches, eating, buying stuff they don’t need, eating and bragging on a constant basis how they are the greatest country on earth.
Did I mention eating?
Political parties
There are basically 2 main political parties in the states. The Democrats (formed by Thomas Jefferson), The Republicans (formed by Satan) and then we have The Liberals, though they aren’t really much of a party.
The Democrats can be defined as a party of no ideas, whereas The Republicans are a party of bad ideas.
Note - The Liberals have a lot of ideas but no one listens to them because they are, well… liberals.
Geography
America, according to Americans is the only planet on this planet. We may think otherwise and discard it as ignorance but the Americans simply refute to anything on the contrary. They say “We have the world’s sexiest people, world’s most read newspapers, all the major sport world cups are held by us (American “football”, Baseball and Basketball) and 99.99% of the polls show that we are the only people here. Our history and Geography books have no mention of anyone else. So how the hell can you say otherwise?”
No one can argue with logic like that so I won’t (besides 100% of the surveys claim it to be quite futile an attempt)
To Be Continued
The President
Vice President
Foreign Policy
Ntural Enemies
Law And Order
Pastimes
Official Name - The United States of America*.
Capital - Israel
Currency - The Dollar
Religion - The Dollar
Population - 498 People and 290 million drones.
Flag
*Sometimes credited as The United states of Amnesia due to the short attention span of its inhabitants. Example -
American - I have seen through the bullshit about the War On Terror and/or Iraq and can no longer support this government.
Fox News - Today’s top story! Kitten found stuck in fridge after 6 weeks!
American - Awwwww… Kitty!!!!
The Country (A brief history)
America was “discovered” by the great Christopher Columbus, which was void of any human life when his voyages led him to his abundant yet vacant land. (Some people argue that the native Indians lived there and that their lands were raped and their women conquered. But that is all a myth because we all know that Indians were created in 1965 to play the bad guys in some old western types)
Soon after there was A Civil War which although is thoroughly and comprehensively taught in the nation’s history books (and almost every other book) I personally find it a tad boring because there were a lot more greater wars before and after this particular one and I’d rather educate myself in matters other than those that are within the boundary of one country. Although I do not condone the government of spoon feeding them rhetorical crap because after all they have to mould the nation’s youth into the perfect consumer, patriot and soldier.
America is based on the idea of democracy (I mean just look at the last two elections) and freedom of speech (Fox news, CNN, NBC and all other government controlled media) and they are fond of rubbing that piece of information into the collective noses of the world’s other countries on a daily basis.
The People
The general population of America is known as Americans (derived from the word Americanusis Idiota) who thrive in their natural habitat i.e. McDonalds and Burger King. They are a very opinionated, outspoken and arrogant people and by that I mean close minded, self centered and ego maniacal morons. They strongly believe in their right to free speech which is quite a waste for most of them as they are incapable of stringing together a chain of thought to interpret it in a form of a coherent sentence.
Their main pastimes consists of Eating, watching sports no one else in the world watches, eating, buying stuff they don’t need, eating and bragging on a constant basis how they are the greatest country on earth.
Did I mention eating?
Political parties
There are basically 2 main political parties in the states. The Democrats (formed by Thomas Jefferson), The Republicans (formed by Satan) and then we have The Liberals, though they aren’t really much of a party.
The Democrats can be defined as a party of no ideas, whereas The Republicans are a party of bad ideas.
Note - The Liberals have a lot of ideas but no one listens to them because they are, well… liberals.
Geography
America, according to Americans is the only planet on this planet. We may think otherwise and discard it as ignorance but the Americans simply refute to anything on the contrary. They say “We have the world’s sexiest people, world’s most read newspapers, all the major sport world cups are held by us (American “football”, Baseball and Basketball) and 99.99% of the polls show that we are the only people here. Our history and Geography books have no mention of anyone else. So how the hell can you say otherwise?”
No one can argue with logic like that so I won’t (besides 100% of the surveys claim it to be quite futile an attempt)
To Be Continued
The President
Vice President
Foreign Policy
Ntural Enemies
Law And Order
Pastimes