Excerpts
For myself and hopefully for others.
We can travel a long way and do many different things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go what is unnecessary and knowing ourselves to be always at home. True happiness may not be at all far away, but it requires a radical change of view as to ( Read more... )
We can travel a long way and do many different things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go what is unnecessary and knowing ourselves to be always at home. True happiness may not be at all far away, but it requires a radical change of view as to ( Read more... )
Nice quote!
I've been having similar thoughts recently, because I feel that kind of 'happiness' you described doesn't motivate me anymore (did it ever, in the first place?) If we are unhappy it's because we feel we fail to meet expectations of those around us, or to fit into a certain box (the latter especially, was a major sources of my own feelings of being inadequate for a very long time). But recently I've changed my perspective, because the truth is that there's essentially nothing wrong with my life, no matter what others try to tell me. I think it's because I've been talking to a very depressive person lately, and got fed up with his whining, lol. It was like looking into a mirror and being disgusted with what I saw. "I only WANT...", "I wish I..." That kind of made me realize that I'll never be happy unless I stop thinking of the "if's" and "i wish..'s". Maybe now I'll learn to accept and appreciate my life for what it is, and actually ENJOY the process, with all its ups and downs.
Also, as a friend of mine says 'any job that brings bread to the table is worth doing,' so ultimately there's no such thing as a 'crappy' job :) I think it's usually people who are far removed from any hardships, that fail to see things in this perspective.
sorry for rambling, i just felt the urge to reply because it really resonates with how I've been feeling lately.
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I can only nod my head vigorously in response - how much we get so caught up in feeling inadequate and like we're not meeting the standards that we might like to throw at other people. The nice thing about this kind of happiness is that it doesn't deny people others' as well - I don't listen to the "realistic" "hardened" people dispensing advice that's "good for me" so much anymore, because for all that the "rational" person likes to harp on about competition... I realise it has done very little for me in the long run, except to bring about considerable amounts of anguish. And I don't think it's because it's my fault or something like that anymore. Others can call it soft and idealistic if they want, but I am all for an inner contentment that hinges on enjoying life AS IT IS - with its ups and downs - and not constantly wanting it to be better. Happiness that does not have to be about being "better" and thus based on someone having lost out in some way. I only wish I could think that way normally - I don't have to talk to a depressed person, I am the depressed person :p
I agree with your friend, and I might also say even from a societal point of view things would just break down if everyone was a doctor/lawyer/engineer. One thing I am truly impressed about in Australia is how builders/farmers etc can get very comparable respect and remuneration without being delegated to some kind of lower class.
But building on the idea of wanting to "win out", I actually find it's the people who have been next to hardship - maybe not in it their whole lives, but not coming from a privileged family and certainly not a privileged country - who impart their biased ideas of "crappy jobs" to their kids in better countries. Not always the case, but in SL social stratification was so strong that you'd feel it strongly even if you were the underclass, and if you managed to get yourself out of it you'd be utterly horrified if your kid said they wanted to be a builder, even though the context is so different now. They might have come from a builder's family but no sirree we have to "move up the ladder". It's a real shame people don't try to understand beyond that, sigh.
There, I've out-rambled you :) I very much enjoyed reading your reply, and you should ramble more if you ever feel like it! It's being able to connect with people over things like these that make life feel even more worth living. :D
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But it's so hard to let go of that way of thinking! In the society we live in everything is about competition, job hunting is about being better than others, getting good work placements at uni is about being better than others, when you turn on the tv here in the UK and see all these competitions, whether it's singing, dancing, cooking or whatever, everything's about trying to prove that you're better than someone else. It's not about competing for 'sport' anymore and enjoying the process, it's about being 'somebody' in this fame/celebrity-crazed country.
Somewhat connected to this might be what I briefly discussed with a friend today, we talked about how many people here are obsessed with 'living life to the fullest' meaning being constantly partying, drunk, drugged and shagging as many people as you can, apparently. And we came to a conclusion that it's really hard to find people who you can do normal things with, like going for walks in nature or going out WITHOUT
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...without the purpose of getting totally hammered, just for a quiet drink or some good food... people can't appreciate nice, simple things, or art, or nature anymore. they're so afraid to be labeled as 'boring' that they just do things they don't even like in order to be liked by other people, or saying they had a great time even if they didn't, because they would be uncool if they said so. I kind of forgot what I wanted to say originally, damn. XD
Probably that people are so afraid to lose their so-called happiness that they end up pretending they're someone else. Again, usually thinking their 'fake' personality is 'better' than their true self.
Um.. I think I wanted to say something else, really, but it just popped into my mind. Oh and I've been a rather depressing/cynical person for a long time, but I'm starting to wonder if I've really been myself all this time. Also, talking to another person who's acting or thinking the same as negative!me, and realizing that 'if I don't like this, why am I thinking like this then?' It's like that Radiohead song (Just) that goes 'you do it to yourself, and that's what really hurts' - that line made me think often about stuff like this.
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, because I'm so tired today. Tried to give shape to random thoughts...=_=
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