Santa is an asshole
I know its really shallow and the opposite purpose of christmas, but every year, i am dissapointed, let down, hosed. however you want to put it. Like i do get good things, some of them i do ask for and that i can use, but others, not so much. It just seems like everyone gets the ONE thing that they wanted. and i don't. and it makes me sad, like that i didnt deserve it. like my brother, he got a Brand NEW guitar, AND and a HUGE amp to go with it! My dad got awesome tickets to one of his favorite bands with his best friend. my lil bro got some air soft gun he's been wanting forever. and mom got all kinds of good stuff she wanted. thats great and all. im happy for them. but i got nothing like that. and it makes me sad to think that im not greatful for the things that i got. but i am, but im also not. there wasn't one gift, where i could tell ppl when they asked me what i got for christmas, ya kno when everyone brags about what they got. like a guitar and an amp or concert tickets. but what am I supposed to say? i got an ipod player? whoo hoo. i already have speakers. i got a self-warming throw blanket. yay! im never cold. a comforter. which i asked for, and i really do like it honestly, but i got the most god awful ugly cover for it. and i did get clothes that i like really. but theres no thought behind the gifts that i ask for, when i ask for clothes, or jeans that are too long. (given i told santa my sizes). i got a chia pet. thats all fine and dandy, never had one before. but what am i supposed to do? watch it grow?!?! i dont think so.
But again, it makes me feel so damn awful to think all this. and i do. bc that is not what christmas is all about, being thankful and stuff for what you have. but thats the exact opposite of what i want to feel. AND then the rest of my family comes over later today and theyre gunna ASK what i got?!!?! Its like rubbing in my awfulness. its terrible. i officially dont like christmas.