I AM A BIT TIPSY
Tomorrow is my mum's birthday, but I got home from theoret's this evening to discover birthday cards on the mantelpiece and flowers all about the place and, having a total 'oh my god I missed my mum's birthday and I don't even have a card', I legged it upstairs to digged my unwrapped birthday present out.
It then, of course, turned out that my mum simply opened some cards early and received a bouquet that she couldn't exactly hide in her wardrobe for a day. And she laughed at my confusion. A true story.
And then there was wine.
*
So anyway, GDIT HERE WE GO.
OH SAM WINCHESTER, YOU PRECIOUS PERFECT SOUL, I’D SAY IT’S KIND OF SILLY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU EXCEPT FOR HOW IT’S NOT SILLY AT ALL. SO LONG AS THERE IS A TV SHOW WITH YOUR FACE IN IT, I SHALL, APPARENTLY, BE THERE.
I can’t even. I cannot even. I mean, partly I really can’t, as I watched the episode 12 hours ago and I was too busy punching theoret to memorise things and then I came home and had that wine, what up. But also there is the my heart is too full of Sam Winchester for words I can’t.
But ummmm yes SAM OH MY PRECIOUS COME HERE. I loved everything about him. Predictably. If we could edit out most of the non-Sam scenes and throw in a bit of gratuitous psychicery, this would be like my favourite episode ever? (As is, it has left me with a serious yearning to rewatch When the Levee Breaks, which, also one of my favourite episodes ever.)
THINGS:-
IN ONE OF THOSE CURIOUS TWISTS OF INTERNET FATE, it was right around the time of Dean and boring unevilGod Castiel having their boring unevilGod conversation post-Sam-hides-in-cellar that the streaming theoret and I were watching died. EVEN MORE CURIOUS, the next episode link we tried somehow took us not to a continuation of said boring conversation but instead to that most surprising of surprises: A SURPRISE TWENTY MINUTE LONG NYAN CAT. We screamed, we danced, we took it as a good sign.
how wrong we were.
I now know that surprise nyan cat is an omen. Yes it will bring joy and dancing, but it will also warn you GO NO FURTHER. YOU ARE HAPPY HERE. DON’T RUIN IT.
Which, adksghfdsyuebgyrsfidgh what a waste of a perfectly good evilGod Castiel plot. What a waste. I was legit fairly intrigued in Castiel’s evilGodly shenanigans and I just I cannot for the life of me understand why TPTB decided to do this? WHAT EVEN. Why not have Castiel in the S6 finale come over all I AM FULL OF LEVIATHAN and spend this opening episode actually setting up the plot of season. But no instead we have our rubbish evilGod Castiel slaughtering what was apparently a serious buttload of people for no good reason and with no ramifications because evilGod Castiel doesn’t even seemingly exist anymore!!
This show! This stupid, sloppily written, badly plotted show!
(and WHY IS IT LEVIATHAN. Why is Castiel possessed by a freaking SEA MONSTER. And why is this sea monster apparently talking in 21ST CENTURY VERNACULAR. A) it is an ancient being, B) it lives in the sea. Clutches brain forever.)
So whatever whatever, screw you final nonsensical ten minutes.
BOY GOLLY GOSH I CAN’T WAIT TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO EPISODE TWO OF ‘WHAT SAM WINCHESTER DID IN HIS CRAZY CELLAR SUMMAR HOLIDAY’ I AM SURE DEAN IS GOING TO FLIP THE BIRD TO OUR SURPRISE SEA MONSTER FRIEND AND JOG OFF TO SEE WHICH FINGERS HIS LITTLE BROTHER HAS GNAWED OFF IN A FIT OF LUCIFEREAN ANXIETY
And then the rest of the episode will be spent with Sam and Dean braiding each other’s hair (Sam with some difficulty, given the gnawed finger situation) with a five minute interlude where Death and Casiteleviathan show up and Castiel talks in dolphin clicks because he is a freaking sea monster
brb ending the post with Sam Winchester Sam Winchester Sam Winchester.
It then, of course, turned out that my mum simply opened some cards early and received a bouquet that she couldn't exactly hide in her wardrobe for a day. And she laughed at my confusion. A true story.
And then there was wine.
*
So anyway, GDIT HERE WE GO.
OH SAM WINCHESTER, YOU PRECIOUS PERFECT SOUL, I’D SAY IT’S KIND OF SILLY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU EXCEPT FOR HOW IT’S NOT SILLY AT ALL. SO LONG AS THERE IS A TV SHOW WITH YOUR FACE IN IT, I SHALL, APPARENTLY, BE THERE.
I can’t even. I cannot even. I mean, partly I really can’t, as I watched the episode 12 hours ago and I was too busy punching theoret to memorise things and then I came home and had that wine, what up. But also there is the my heart is too full of Sam Winchester for words I can’t.
But ummmm yes SAM OH MY PRECIOUS COME HERE. I loved everything about him. Predictably. If we could edit out most of the non-Sam scenes and throw in a bit of gratuitous psychicery, this would be like my favourite episode ever? (As is, it has left me with a serious yearning to rewatch When the Levee Breaks, which, also one of my favourite episodes ever.)
THINGS:-
- FUCKING MEATHOOKS. That was part ‘oh god, really, is meathooks truly the most worst and awful hell thing you people can think of?’ but part pure nostalgia.
- DEAN TRYING SO HARD TO FIX HIS BABY WHICH IS A METAPHOR FOR SAM. And Dean saying he should be fix cars for a living foreshadowing???? Probably not foreshadowing, but oh oh oh if Show if you MUST try to be like fanfic, that is precisely the kind of fanfic I would want you to be like.
- Death is basically a goddess. Or a god. Which I guess he kind of really is. But yeah I love him. The first 34~ mins of this ep, which I am basically treating in my head as separate from the end, were a bit Cas-heavy for my tastes but if we must have Cas being in scenes in a way that does not involve him being hilariously drunksulky in the corner I am all in favour for Castiel and Death bantering at each for a five minutes an episode.
- Speaking of him, Castiel’s awful stretchy monsterish mpreg god-gone-wrong belly was basically the worst thing I have ever seen and people, people, I have seen Vampire High. HORRORFYING. theoret says it didn’t bother her too much and that is one of many reasons why we must not trust theoret. (Further reasons why we must not trust theoret: this morning she tickled me with her nose until I fell off the bed. But I digress.)
- Crowley called Sam a giraffe. My typing fingers are full of wine and I don’t even know what to say to that. AND OH GOD I JUST REMEMBERED bertee and I for some reason I can’t even remember why spent some time last week contemplating Castiel having a crazy love affair with a giraffe.
BUT NOT LIKE THIS. I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THIS.
- I like you Crowley I do.
- But not as much as I like Sam. I like Sam when he’s flailing at fucking meathooks with a spanner in the basement. I like Sam when he is still so desperate so determined to see the best in people he will PRAY TO THEIR CRAZY BRENEMY GOD. I especially like Sam when his crazy little crazy brain cooks up his own personal Lucifer to taunt him with the worst possible things. Has a little part of Sam been worried that this isn’t reality all along? Or is it the uneasy slippyslide between Cage!Sam and Robo!Sam going on in his inner workings? Or OH MY GOD was Cage!Sam sometimes aware of what his body and Robo!Sam were up to lollygagging around up there and Cage!Sam would confuse it for reality?? OH NO. Oh my little forehead pumpkin.
- I do not like when Sam goes Lucifer-crazy and disappears into the depths of some skeevy angel/demon consortium cellar and Dean does not go dashing off after him the second his stupid ritual is complete. >:[[[[[[[[
IN ONE OF THOSE CURIOUS TWISTS OF INTERNET FATE, it was right around the time of Dean and boring unevilGod Castiel having their boring unevilGod conversation post-Sam-hides-in-cellar that the streaming theoret and I were watching died. EVEN MORE CURIOUS, the next episode link we tried somehow took us not to a continuation of said boring conversation but instead to that most surprising of surprises: A SURPRISE TWENTY MINUTE LONG NYAN CAT. We screamed, we danced, we took it as a good sign.
how wrong we were.
I now know that surprise nyan cat is an omen. Yes it will bring joy and dancing, but it will also warn you GO NO FURTHER. YOU ARE HAPPY HERE. DON’T RUIN IT.
Which, adksghfdsyuebgyrsfidgh what a waste of a perfectly good evilGod Castiel plot. What a waste. I was legit fairly intrigued in Castiel’s evilGodly shenanigans and I just I cannot for the life of me understand why TPTB decided to do this? WHAT EVEN. Why not have Castiel in the S6 finale come over all I AM FULL OF LEVIATHAN and spend this opening episode actually setting up the plot of season. But no instead we have our rubbish evilGod Castiel slaughtering what was apparently a serious buttload of people for no good reason and with no ramifications because evilGod Castiel doesn’t even seemingly exist anymore!!
This show! This stupid, sloppily written, badly plotted show!
(and WHY IS IT LEVIATHAN. Why is Castiel possessed by a freaking SEA MONSTER. And why is this sea monster apparently talking in 21ST CENTURY VERNACULAR. A) it is an ancient being, B) it lives in the sea. Clutches brain forever.)
So whatever whatever, screw you final nonsensical ten minutes.
BOY GOLLY GOSH I CAN’T WAIT TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO EPISODE TWO OF ‘WHAT SAM WINCHESTER DID IN HIS CRAZY CELLAR SUMMAR HOLIDAY’ I AM SURE DEAN IS GOING TO FLIP THE BIRD TO OUR SURPRISE SEA MONSTER FRIEND AND JOG OFF TO SEE WHICH FINGERS HIS LITTLE BROTHER HAS GNAWED OFF IN A FIT OF LUCIFEREAN ANXIETY
And then the rest of the episode will be spent with Sam and Dean braiding each other’s hair (Sam with some difficulty, given the gnawed finger situation) with a five minute interlude where Death and Casiteleviathan show up and Castiel talks in dolphin clicks because he is a freaking sea monster
brb ending the post with Sam Winchester Sam Winchester Sam Winchester.