"Hey, hey. Breathe," says Dean. His hand comes up to cup your neck and you press closer like an animal. "Bobby says it won't be like this forever, okay? Hey, Sam. You hear me?"
You want to punch him, violent urge wrapping around your heart--pound your fist into his ribs until his bones crack and break and he gets it. You want to shove yourself into him further, get your skin right up next to his so you can feel his pulse, so you can be sure he's alive. You want him not to let you go. You want this to be over. Too many things; you try to pull out the one that matters.
"Okay?" He pulls you in closer, releases you. Looks at you again with those full green eyes. "Okay? You can do this, man, c'mon--"
You swallow. You close your eyes. You make a noise, right from your crunched-up and messy heart, and you say, "Dean--"
Here are some things you remember about your brother: when you were fifteen, your brother signed your cast with "I busted a ghost in New York City and all I got was this stupid broken leg." When you went to college, your brother wrote you a letter on a gas station receipt. It said, "Sam: I keep finding your shit everywhere. Let me know if you left anything important. Probably swinging thru Nevada in a couple of weeks, could detour to Cali. Hope it's bikini weather." When you were twenty-three, your brother broke the hand of a guy who bloodied your face in a bar fight. When you were thirteen, your brother won you a goldfish at a carnival and gave you this shit-eating-grin and your stomach flipped all the way over. When you were five, your brother made you hold his hand while you crossed the street.
Here is a thing you remember about your brother: you love him.
You reach up blindly. It's a sloppy kiss, wet and desperate and weak; your hands are on his face, nails digging in to hold on. It's not romantic. It's not sweet. It's not the right thing to do. You don't know what else to do. It's not the thing you deserve--you are a murderer--but it's the thing you do anyway. You kiss him till to have to breathe and then you open your eyes and you say, "Dean--"
YES. THIS. This is the most asfdskjfsk PERFECT thing *ever*. This is exactly it, this is *exactly* how it should happen. This so is the return to the epic love story of Sam and Dean that we've been waiting and hoping for.
So much love for this. ♥ I just. I know they'll never have it happen this way for real in the show, but I *want* this to be the exact way it happens, so much.
Oh, thank you so much for this awesome comment! *blush* It made me very happy! I'm so, SO pleased this felt true and right to you. ♥ It's the ending I want them to have too. A girl can dream, right?
You want to punch him, violent urge wrapping around your heart--pound your fist into his ribs until his bones crack and break and he gets it. You want to shove yourself into him further, get your skin right up next to his so you can feel his pulse, so you can be sure he's alive. You want him not to let you go. You want this to be over. Too many things; you try to pull out the one that matters.
"Okay?" He pulls you in closer, releases you. Looks at you again with those full green eyes. "Okay? You can do this, man, c'mon--"
You swallow. You close your eyes. You make a noise, right from your crunched-up and messy heart, and you say, "Dean--"
Here are some things you remember about your brother: when you were fifteen, your brother signed your cast with "I busted a ghost in New York City and all I got was this stupid broken leg." When you went to college, your brother wrote you a letter on a gas station receipt. It said, "Sam: I keep finding your shit everywhere. Let me know if you left anything important. Probably swinging thru Nevada in a couple of weeks, could detour to Cali. Hope it's bikini weather." When you were twenty-three, your brother broke the hand of a guy who bloodied your face in a bar fight. When you were thirteen, your brother won you a goldfish at a carnival and gave you this shit-eating-grin and your stomach flipped all the way over. When you were five, your brother made you hold his hand while you crossed the street.
Here is a thing you remember about your brother: you love him.
You reach up blindly. It's a sloppy kiss, wet and desperate and weak; your hands are on his face, nails digging in to hold on. It's not romantic. It's not sweet. It's not the right thing to do. You don't know what else to do. It's not the thing you deserve--you are a murderer--but it's the thing you do anyway. You kiss him till to have to breathe and then you open your eyes and you say, "Dean--"
"Sam," Dean whispers, and kisses you back.
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So much love for this. ♥ I just. I know they'll never have it happen this way for real in the show, but I *want* this to be the exact way it happens, so much.
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So: if you're wondering why this complete stranger just friended you, it's because you have BLOWN ME AWAY. :)
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This is just. right.
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Love that wording. Messy heart. Yeah, that's him right at that moment.
Also love this ficlet, Sam's intense reaction and all the things he remembers about Dean. Thank you for writing this!
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