apple juice and iron man but not at the same time

May 01, 2010 20:00

I CANNOT OPEN BOTTLES. Like, at all. It's kind of embarrassing. It's not like I'm especially weak - I'm of average strength, I can deliver a good whack around the head - but I just have NO BOTTLE GRIP. NONE AT ALL ( Read more... )

fan: iron man i guess, /o\, *facepalm*, idek, what is this i can't even, fan: rdj

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 19:26:01 UTC
DUDE did you see the Iron Man 2 article in Entertainment Weekly? THE LAST LINE FILLS ME WITH ECSTATIC GLEE.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 19:31:31 UTC
I misread 'Obviously, a key creative decision with any superhero sequel is to come up with a bad guy' as 'Obviously, a key creative decision with any superhero sequel is to come up with a big gay' and I thought to myself 'yes, yes that is so true.'

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 19:59:20 UTC
Well then I very much look forward to Iron Man 3: Where The Boys Are.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 20:02:23 UTC
I don't understand this reference you have made :(

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 20:03:40 UTC
I. Uh. I'm pretty sure "Where The Boys Are" is a gay porn series? I AM AFRAID TO GOOGLE IT.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 20:05:21 UTC
I googled it and got a 1960s coming-of-age romcom?

I think that would fit well with Iron Man too, though.

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 20:09:44 UTC
The correct keyword to include in that search would be "Sean Cody".

jsyk.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 19:34:56 UTC
Also, someone should write an AU fic where RDJ really does just make faces for cash and chicken.

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 19:49:22 UTC
I think you mean a TOTALLY BASED IN REAL TRUFAX REALITY FIC.

Ugh, I fear I will have to wear some sort of straitjacket or similar restraining device when I go see this stupid movie. Otherwise I will most certainly launch myself at the screen in a crazed attempt to mate with RDJ and Scarlett Johanssen simultaneously.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 19:53:33 UTC
YES OKAY. His whole backstory/past is actually just a really elaborate PR hoax. Actually he was standing on a street corner with a sign saying 'will make faces for cash or chicken' and then Favreau walked past and Tony made a face at him and Favreau went "HOLY SHIT THAT FACE IS THE FACE OF TONY STARK!"

RDJ is still waiting for the piece of chicken Favreau promised him.

Ohhh man there is this bit with ScarJo that is essentially like she's stepped off the screen to personally mate with your eyeballs. ENJOY.

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 19:55:42 UTC
HAHAHA I AM PICTURING HIM WITH A BUCKET OF CHICKEN AND AN ENORMOUS AND RIDICULOUS GRIN.

jesus christ that should not be SO GODDAMN HOT. *sobs*

It is not really my eyeballs that are the most interested tbh. I AM JUST SAYING.

I had to go reupload some Iron Man icons, dammit. I NEED NEW ONES. OMG.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 20:01:20 UTC
NOW I AM PICTURING HIM LYING NAKED ON A COUCH MADE OF CHICKEN IN THAT TITANIC POSE. YOU KNOW THE ONE. (LEONARDO DI CAPRIO CAN DRAW HIM LIKE THAT TOO.)

this absolutely should be so goddamn hot because it is RDJ lying naked on DELICIOUS FOODS.

Well come on now Liz, be reasonable. How would she have time to climb out of the screen and mate with everyone's vayjays?

YES YOU DO. *STARES*

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 20:05:44 UTC
BUT THEN HE WOULD GET ALL GREASY AND HIS RIPPLING MUSCLES WOULD BE GLISTENING AND. UH. WAIT WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT.

I have a disturbing urge for gravy right now.

NOT EVERYONE ELSE'S. JUST MINE.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 20:08:51 UTC
NOW I AM JUST IMAGINING HIM LIKE... FORGING A CHICKEN. WHACKING IT WITH HIS HAMMER. IDEK. IT IS STILL KIND OF SEXY. WHUT.

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elizardbits May 1 2010, 20:11:09 UTC
HAHA YES. LIKE... HAMMER, ANVIL, KFC DOUBLE DOWN.

I AM INEXPLICABLY DELIGHTED.

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wanttobeatree May 1 2010, 20:09:14 UTC
No the hammer is not his penis.

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