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LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part One bindaroonie November 8 2009, 08:53:56 UTC
LET’S GET PHYSICAL-Part One.
(Because what do both Cas and I have in common? We are too long for other's delicate sensibilities. Especially LJ's.)

Castiel was over 3000 years old. And he’d never once been to the gym.

Sam of course, had been horrified at the revelation. “Physical activity is part of life, Cas. Do you think I could eat all those cheeseburgers, and drink all that beer, if I didn’t then go work it off, huh?”

“You’ve NEVER gone...” Cas began, incredulous.

“AHA! I’ll have you know that I’m ALWAYS at the gym. All those mornings that you and Dean have slept in, and then just rolled your pretty little asses out of bed at midday, where do you think I’ve been? I’m usually out jogging, that’s where. Or at the nearest gym lifting weights. You think muscles like THIS,” he flexed his enormous biceps, “Just happen?”

“I thought it was all that demon blood,” Cas muttered.

“What?” Sam yelled, hoping he had heard wrong.

“Nothing, darling,” Cas sighed, anxious to avoid yet another fight about Sam’s ex-girlfriend, Ruby.

Sam wouldn’t drop the topic. He begged, and pleaded and cajoled, until Castiel gave in. And so it was that the angel found himself at the gym, for the first time EVER.

Sam had started by putting him on the treadmill. Castiel did just fine at walking, and he even enjoyed it, swinging his hips, swirling his trenchcoat from side to side and gazing intently at the other gym patrons. He had, of course, absolutely refused to take the long, brown coat off, despite Sam’s pleas and the narrowed eyes of the litigation shy personal trainer, who kept popping by to ensure he was using the equipment correctly. Of course, the minute Sam reached over and cranked the treadmill up to running speed, Cas found it not so fun anymore. Seeing Sam’s focus was now on the weight bench, he cheated. Using his outstretched wings, he raised himself high above the spinning rubber, his feet still leisurely strolling through the air in a manner reminiscent to Wile-E-Coyote.

Sam, unimpressed at this turn of events, had quickly moved Cas on to the task of spotting him while he lifted weights, a task Castiel quite enjoyed as he appreciatively took in Sam’s muscles rippling under his shirt, his face red and sweaty from exertion.

That was, until, Sam declared it to be his turn now, giving him his own weights to lift. Castiel kept moaning about how boring it all was, how this wasn’t God’s plan and couldn’t they leave the gym and go to an early screening of ‘New Moon’ instead? It wasn’t long before Sam found himself surrounded by white light, glaring at Castiel as he looked at his watch and found that Cas had transported them both thirty minutes into the future, Cas triumphantly declaring his weight set DONE.

Getting exasperated, and keen to work on his gluteus maximus muscles in private, Sam sent Castiel into a Yogalates class. He entered the room 20 minutes later, only to find the class encircled around the mirrors on the far wall of the gym.

“Hi lover,” Cas called cheerily, waving at Sam as best as he could from his position up against the mirror, his legs hitched back over his head and his body bent almost double in the plow pose, as his classmates encouraged him into newer and more bendy positions.

“Cas, just, go and take a shower, please,” Sam begged. “ I’ll meet you at the juice bar in 10 minutes....”

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two bindaroonie November 8 2009, 08:58:46 UTC
“Cas, just, go and take a shower, please,” Sam begged. “ I’ll meet you at the juice bar in 10 minutes....”

Castiel stepped into the MENS and was enjoying his shower, the warm water running over his head. He wasn’t used to being able to take his time in the bathroom. Usually, Sam was in there hogging the mirror and assessing the growth of his sideburns. Or Dean was desperate to, in his own words “Drop the boys off at the pool.”

Though Castiel suspected, given the numerous copies of ‘Busty Asian Beauties’ Dean always tucked into the waistband of his pants before entering the bathroom, that he was actually masturbating.

Thinking of Dean masturbating made Castiel feel a little excited in his pants. Except, of course, for the fact that he wasn’t wearing any. Sam was his one true love, but Dean was a pretty good looking guy, and so Cas closed his eyes and absent-mindedly reached down to stroke his own penis at the thought. It was with some surprise then, that Cas felt the filmy white shower curtain peeling back, the personal trainer eyeing him with a look of horror. The man let out a girlish squeal as he took in the sight of the wet, naked angel tugging away on a cock that was not just big, but freakishly, tyrannosaurusly huge.

“Take your wings, and your weird lights and your bendy spine and your, your, huge MONSTER of a cock, and GET OUT!” he yelled, pulling Cas bodily out of the shower and throwing his trenchcoat at him. He tugged Cas towards the glass doors of the gym and Cas, still dripping wet, was left with no choice but to put his trenchcoat on, as his gym clothes were still sitting on the change room bench.

Sam, hearing the commotion, came running towards them in a panic, worried that Castiel would smite first and ask questions later. “Don’t bring your boyfriend back here again,” the trainer yelled at Sam, locking the door in their faces as he pushed them out, glaring at them from behind the safety of the glass.

Sam, taking one look at Cas’ sad face and trembling bottom lip, pulled Castiel into a hug, right there on the sidewalk. “He called my cock a monster, Sam,” Cas wibbled as he looked up at him, his blue eyes forlorn. “You and Dean aren’t going to salt and burn it, are you?”

“Oh, no honey. NO,” Sam exclaimed. “A monster penis is just one that’s big. Like yours.”

“Mine’s big? Then so is yours!”

“That’s right, sweetie. Most guys are only, I dunno, six or seven inches at best.” Castiel cocked his head to the side, processing the information.

“Well THAT can’t be pleasurable. I’m glad we both have demonic cocks, then.” Sam hid a smile, not wanting to correct him, as Cas looked up at him with a plea in his eyes. “Sammy, don’t make me go to the gym again,” Cas begged, clutching onto Sam’s muscular arm with a new appreciation.

“I won’t,” Sam promised, “But only if you promise to get your daily exercise somewhere else.”

Cas’s eyes lit up. “Oh, Dean’s magazine, Cosmo!” he said excitedly.

“What did Cosmo say?” Sam asked, hardly surprised to hear of his brother's literature choice.

“It said that sex is a great form of incidental exercise,” Cas said brightly. “And it also had an article called ‘20 ways to Please Your Man’. I found it to be most informative.”

Sam smiled a grin that lit up his whole face. He wasn’t sure if it was the exercise endorphins, or Cas himself, naked under that trenchcoat, that were making him suddenly feel all warm and fuzzy.

“I find your workout terms agreeable, Cas, as long as we start TODAY,” Sam replied, pulling him close kissing his angel’s soft lips before reluctantly pulling away. “Also, that article? Why don’t we go back to the hotel, and you can demonstrate for me exactly what it said...”

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two ibroketuesday November 8 2009, 09:51:21 UTC
I gigglesnorted. Excellent.

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bindaroonie November 8 2009, 11:19:55 UTC
Glad you liked! I was actually on my treadmill the other day, just thinking to myself what Cas might have to say in the same situation, so this was a quick and easy one to write.
I may even fill another if I get time during the week!

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two maskedfangirl November 8 2009, 11:41:09 UTC
*snort* *cackle* YEEESSSS.

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two modestmouse18 November 8 2009, 13:59:30 UTC
OH THIS.

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two yakbites November 8 2009, 18:32:11 UTC
lol. LOL. LOLLLLL.

I lol'd, as you can see.

No, Cas, monster cocks aren't like the monsters we fight all the other days when we're not at the gym.

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two sparseparsley November 8 2009, 19:07:15 UTC
AWESOME!

I love how shmoopy floofy they are with each other. And the DEMONIC COCKS of course! And the poor gym trainer!

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two samara_draven November 8 2009, 21:27:17 UTC
Awww! This: “He called my cock a monster, Sam,” Cas wibbled as he looked up at him, his blue eyes forlorn. “You and Dean aren’t going to salt and burn it, are you?”

I literally went Awww...ohh... :( out loud at that. Poor Cas! :D

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two jensenrick November 11 2009, 18:07:22 UTC
THIS is the funniest fic EVAH!!

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two imisspadfoot21 November 24 2009, 05:47:39 UTC
*loves*

Hehe, nothing on under the coat...*dirty thoughts*

YOU ROCK!!!! And Cas is right, working out is boring...but there are alternative methods...and those are fun ;)

Thanks!

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Re: LET'S GET PHYSICAL, BABY! Part Two happywriter06 January 13 2010, 04:45:46 UTC
I should be dead. I should've choked on my dinner since I didn't stop laughing. It just got funnier and funnier.

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