nothing will ever be the same again
MY FRIENDS, something amazing has happened and I want you all to be a part of it.
Allow me to set the scene. The time was 8 o'clock (which is, as we all know, Location, Location, Location time - aka I love you Kirstie Allsopp time) and I was rustling around in the kitchen drawer for the tin opener, as I had a tin and by god it needed opening. I spotted the shiny twisty bit, glinting in the light, and then I spotted something EVEN BETTER.
THIS.
No, it is not the adorable cross between a paint brush and a newborn baby's wardrobe. It is a PASTRY BRUSH. A TEENY WEENY PINK AND BLUE POLKA-DOTTED ADORABLE PASTRY BRUSH. I want to stick it up my vagina just so I can give birth to it. I want to go to a goddamn pie factory and lie on the end of the conveyor belt and BRUSH EVERY PASTRY THAT CROSSES MY PATH. (IF I RUN OUT OF PASTRY TO BRUSH, I WILL STRIP OFF AND BRUSH MY NAKED SKIN.)
But most of all - most of all - I want Jensen Ackles to own one. To own one and to use it. FREQUENTLY.
Just picture that for a second.
Exactly, guys. Exactly.
I think I have said all I need to on the subject.
Allow me to set the scene. The time was 8 o'clock (which is, as we all know, Location, Location, Location time - aka I love you Kirstie Allsopp time) and I was rustling around in the kitchen drawer for the tin opener, as I had a tin and by god it needed opening. I spotted the shiny twisty bit, glinting in the light, and then I spotted something EVEN BETTER.
THIS.
No, it is not the adorable cross between a paint brush and a newborn baby's wardrobe. It is a PASTRY BRUSH. A TEENY WEENY PINK AND BLUE POLKA-DOTTED ADORABLE PASTRY BRUSH. I want to stick it up my vagina just so I can give birth to it. I want to go to a goddamn pie factory and lie on the end of the conveyor belt and BRUSH EVERY PASTRY THAT CROSSES MY PATH. (IF I RUN OUT OF PASTRY TO BRUSH, I WILL STRIP OFF AND BRUSH MY NAKED SKIN.)
But most of all - most of all - I want Jensen Ackles to own one. To own one and to use it. FREQUENTLY.
Just picture that for a second.
Exactly, guys. Exactly.
I think I have said all I need to on the subject.