my nerves aren't up to this challenge
Sigh, fandom. Sigh. I went to bed really pissed off at the internet and fandom (all fandom, not just SPN) for breeding so much hate - and the illusion that it is totally acceptable and normal to have that level of hate, be it for a fangirl or celebrity or anyone who didn’t deliberately run over your dog. (And even then, wouldn’t you be more focussed on checking your dog is okay than on running after the offender with a big stick?)
Then I wondered if I was being immensely hypocritical, when lord knows there are people I don’t like here. Maybe it is hypocritical of me! Maybe you’re sat there reading this thinking ‘oh my god Tree, hypocrite much?’ and if it’s okay for me to dislike people, it’s okay for you to think that. But I don’t stir shit up, or talk shit about people anonymously, or - hell - anywhere really, except in the occasional email/IM, and I don’t think my own dislikes match up anywhere near to the hate some people spew.
I do think I’ve been getting bitchier in private lately, though, perhaps in direct correlation to fandom’s own bitchiness or perhaps not. (In the case of my thoughts on Castiel, it’s honestly more like in direct correlation to fandom’s love for him.) It does seem like the level of acceptable cruelty has risen - or I’ve just become more aware of it, I don’t know! - and I’ve bought into it. Being happy in fandom has become a lot of hard work, lately. Sometimes it's easier to just not be happy here, to just hate on everything and everyone and get your kicks from the small buzz of power that provides. I don’t want to buy into it anymore!
Idk. I can’t change fandom. I am, sadly, not its Queen. I know people out there might read this and just think ‘baaawwww the meanies have hurt her precious feelings’, because cruelty is acceptable on the internet and apparently I am indeed a delicate flower. But I’m going to do what I always do in these situations: here are some people who I don’t want to be like, so I’m going to try not to be like them.
So thank you, haters, for making me think about my own attitudes. It probably won't change my LJ much, as this place is essentially a dumping ground for sparkly balloons as is, but it will hopefully change me.
(AND THEN, BITCHES, I SHALL SPRINKLE GLITTER ALL OVER MY DELICATE PETALS AND RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET ON THE BACK OF A CANDYFLOSS UNICORN.)
(CASTIEL STILL SUCKS THOUGH.)
Then I wondered if I was being immensely hypocritical, when lord knows there are people I don’t like here. Maybe it is hypocritical of me! Maybe you’re sat there reading this thinking ‘oh my god Tree, hypocrite much?’ and if it’s okay for me to dislike people, it’s okay for you to think that. But I don’t stir shit up, or talk shit about people anonymously, or - hell - anywhere really, except in the occasional email/IM, and I don’t think my own dislikes match up anywhere near to the hate some people spew.
I do think I’ve been getting bitchier in private lately, though, perhaps in direct correlation to fandom’s own bitchiness or perhaps not. (In the case of my thoughts on Castiel, it’s honestly more like in direct correlation to fandom’s love for him.) It does seem like the level of acceptable cruelty has risen - or I’ve just become more aware of it, I don’t know! - and I’ve bought into it. Being happy in fandom has become a lot of hard work, lately. Sometimes it's easier to just not be happy here, to just hate on everything and everyone and get your kicks from the small buzz of power that provides. I don’t want to buy into it anymore!
Idk. I can’t change fandom. I am, sadly, not its Queen. I know people out there might read this and just think ‘baaawwww the meanies have hurt her precious feelings’, because cruelty is acceptable on the internet and apparently I am indeed a delicate flower. But I’m going to do what I always do in these situations: here are some people who I don’t want to be like, so I’m going to try not to be like them.
So thank you, haters, for making me think about my own attitudes. It probably won't change my LJ much, as this place is essentially a dumping ground for sparkly balloons as is, but it will hopefully change me.
(AND THEN, BITCHES, I SHALL SPRINKLE GLITTER ALL OVER MY DELICATE PETALS AND RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET ON THE BACK OF A CANDYFLOSS UNICORN.)
(CASTIEL STILL SUCKS THOUGH.)