4x19

[wanttobeatree]

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS EPISODE. I was completely certain the surprise third brother was going to be a trap, which he was, and honestly I don’t really care that apparently ~he really was a brother from another mother~. And this coming from someone who likes John’s character. Where is my rage and vitriol? I think I left it behind somewhere around Sam’s toothbrush.

• SAM’S TOOTHBRUSH. Asjhfgfk omg that whole scene. Sam’s TOOTHBRUSHING FACE. Dean’s tragic sleepy stumbling. The TUNA HATRED. *_* show has been so good to us re domesticity lately. NEXT UP, GROCERY SHOPPING?
  
  
• and then sajdfgkjd omg the whole DINER SCENE. Dean! See you can be a scarily competent hunter too! He carries freaking cutlery with him. I hope he really does carry that everywhere, and not just when he’s coming to meet It’s A Trap.
  
  
• Sam’s dorky little wave at Adam was the dorkiest and most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
  
  
• A CAR FELL ON HIM.
  
  
• It was all so tense. I love tenseness. I love Dean just ITCHING to shoot a bitch.
  
  
• LOL photoshopping.
  
  
• THE ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. Canon consistency! Adorableness! Sam’s INCREDIBLY SMUG LITTLE EXPRESSION! Throw back to that one time Sam connected with somebody and then he had to SHOOT HER IN THE FACE! So many of my favourite things in one place.
  
  
• All that gun cleaning was good for the soul.
  
  
• I had to actually pause the episode and lol at Kim’s picture. Oh Kim what were you thinking with that moustache. I would not have bought a secondhand car from you, that’s for sure.
  
  
• Sam + Dean = SUCH A MARRIED COUPLE. The simultaneous NO at Adam, Dean’s grumpy I’M GOING OUT. See, they’re still married guys! It’s just that the honeymoon is over and recent events are putting a bit of a strain on their relationship. They’ll be renewing their vows in no time.
  
  
• Sam being competent with guns. *_*
  
  
• So it’s over for you / it’s never over. Oh Sam Winchester, your life. Your… complete lack of hope that things will ever be okay for you again. (But maybe if you screw your slim chances up even further, things can be okay for Dean one day.)
  
  
• SAM GOT DRAGGED UNDER A CAR AGAIN. I was thrilled. I don’t know if the throwback to Benders was on purpose, but that was when I decided whatever the MotW was it was part of a family. Also, so much Sam Is In Danger today! THRILLED.
  
  
• On a more shallow note, goddamn Dean’s long black coat. Unff.
  
  
• Just, just. asdhjfbdgkdfs. USING THE KID AS BAIT. Sam you are so morally fucked and yet completely practical. I love it so much.
  
  
• It isn’t a job, it’s a life. You can’t have those kinds of connections, ever. They’re weaknesses. And the only thing you can count on is family. Oh Saaaaam. HE IS NOT OKAY. As I have been saying since, well, forever, but finally we seem to be GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH IT. Completely fucked in the head. AN ACTUAL GLIMPSE INTO HIS FUCKED UP HEAD *_* Not a massive one, but just. so telling. Yeah I think this is why idgaf re Papa and Adam - BECAUSE THERE IS SAM AND HE’S BEING TRAGIC. And also calling people meat which sadjfkg thrilled. I am thrilled.
  
  
• Augh augh Dean being trapped in that creepy cave of creep was AWFUL. DNW tv claustrophobia.
  
  
• Also, I really liked the woman who played Adam’s mum. She did good Freaked The Fuck Out in the teaser, and then superawesome creepiness. GO TEAM CREEPY WOMAN.
  
  
• I was so certain with the ‘his blood tastes different’ that Sam was going to ~psychic his way out of it~, but then I wasn’t too bothered when he didn’t because DEAN SAVED HIM. Saved him whilst he was all bleeding out and woozy and where the fuck are the h/c codas. I need them and I need them now.
  
  
• The Dad conversation was interesting. Like I said, I pretty much dgaf about this shocking new turn of events, but - the conversation was interesting. I would be EXTREMELY SURPRISED if Dean meant it as a compliment. (But of course Sam took it like a compliment, because Dad is the model around which they have both built themselves.) So on the one hand - John apparently, at least from Dean’s perspective, ditched his ‘real’ family to form connections elsewhere, whilst Dean’s been feeling more and more like Sam is ditching him to form demonic connections - just as harmful to the Winchester lifestyle as normalcy. Of course, Sam has his reasons, no matter how misguided and fucked up, but Dean doesn’t/can’t/hasn’t been allowed by Sam (in order to protect him?) to understand them.
  
  On the other hand, John - this closed off, cold, revenge-driven guy - was able to form a possibly meaningful connection again after/despite preaching that emotional connections = dangerous weakness. Sam believes in the danger of emotional connections now (perhaps has been deliberately emotionally distancing himself from Dean? He needs to be stronger than him, in order to avenge him. Last season, their love for each other was their ultimate weaknesses), but if he’s just like John, then he’s still capable of forming (reforming) connections. Ultimately, he’s driven by love - hardened, more than a little fucked up, but still love.
  
  Revenge. Loyalty. Protection.
  
  The Winchester family curse.
  
  
• ALSO THEY WERE BOTH SO PRETTY TODAY. DEAN ESPECIALLY. UNF.

This week on necrophilia watch: nothing but the ember of humanity in Sam’s cold, dead heart. Also lots of corpses? Who knows, maybe ghouls need sexy times too.

Also, dammit they were ghouls. I have to change that in last night’s fic, now. Fuck it, it still works.

eta: Oh oh, apparently John discovered Adam right after Sam had left for Stanford? This works. I kind of like that, actually. Look at you, Papa Winchester, forming them damn emotional connections after your insistence that they're weak drives one of your babies away. Of course, you completely fucked up trying to give this kid the normal life missing!baby had so desired, but then you are John Winchester, so no matter how hard you try things go tits up anyway.