[Songfic] Isshi’s Story - Feel Me (repost)
Fandom : Kagrra,
Genre : General, Angst, OOC
Song : Feel Me by amber gris
a/n : watch amber gris - Feel Me suddenly reminded me of Isshi. Moreover, before that I saw some pictures from Isshi's commemoration dinner which actually being the night of Shiki-project's live.. A fiction with the touch of facts here and there.
Facts are noted from here : http://kagrra.livejournal.com/516135.html#cutid1
Repost from the Indonesian version
****
I awakened out of my sleep. I can feel the shock and hear the shouts, either of my surroundings or even from my own mouth, I’m not sure. I feel numbness spreading throughout my body and I see a white light glows very brightly, then slowly sucked.
****
I stare at the starry sky that looks very deep, then feels a strange warm feeling for a moment. I don’t know why I’m here. Gusts of cold wind hit me, making me feel giddy. I look down and gasped. I’m standing above the parapet of a high building, somewhere I don’t recognize. But I don’t have any intention to step back, to avoid my self from slipping and falling down. I just feel very sturdy even though my body felt light.
I look at the crowds below. Street lights, car lights and flickering lights from shops which shine dimly. I feel like I could recognize the place down there, but I can’t remember anything. Only the familiar feeling that is tickling.
I unconsciously stepped into the wind then slowly slid down lightly, as if I've always been doing that all the time and very skilled with that sort of thing. After my feet are gently setting on the sidewalk, I feel that way. That I‘m very good with that. Things like flying, floating, and so on. I feel very strong and I love it.
The streets are crowded, but I feel roomy. The people are milling around me. They walk alone, with their couple or in groups. They laughed, talking excitingly and seems to enjoy the night. I walk down the street, look around and still feel familiar with the strange feeling. Like déjà vu. As I have walked and being here very often before.
I don’t know how far I’ve walked when the shops began to disappear, replaced by bridge, park, station, then park again. I don’t feel tired, but suddenly I just want to sit down. My eyes find a row of garden bench. At one of the bench, two girls are seriously looking to something which looks like an Ipad. I heard them saying "Ooh .." and "Aaah .." and "Oh my God! I do not believe this!" out loud.
I sit not so far from them, leaning comfortably on the back of the bench which is painted dark brown. Then I’m staring at the night sky that feels so mysterious for some reasons. Sprinkling of stars are bewitching me, makes me feel like sucked into it. I try to enjoy the feeling and then begin to feel the charm.
I raise my hand, pretending to touch the stars and scoop them into my hand. Very nice. Feels like real. Until the screams of the two girls interrupting my imagination. I look around, see one of them starts sobbing while the other tries to comfort her by patting her shoulder and cheer her up.
"I also sad to hear this, but we should believe that Isshi are rest in peace there. We know Isshi was a very good person and I’m sure that he will get a great place in heaven"
"But still I cannot believe this. Why all of a sudden?! I even have saved the ticket neatly so I wont lost it. Oh my God, this is tragic!"
I watch the two girls begin to cuddle with tears dripping down their face. For a moment I really feel sorry for whoever they are currently crying about. I know what sad is, though I don’t know what thing which ever made me sad. It's just that when I see their tears flowing, I seemed to feel the same. I lean my back into the back of the bench again and close my eyes. For no reason, I suddenly feel very tired.
"I know this time Isshi sees us, and he will realize how much we love him" One of the girl whispers in weak voice, and it makes me smile. Yes. He must be very loved.
****
Once again I feel that I’m being sucked into an unrecognized vortex which makes me feel warm. But my skin starts to eerie, and I closed my eyes trying to eliminate those feelings. When I re-opened my eyes, I stare at my legs dangling from a concrete road barrier. Below is sandy soil with gravel and grass here and there. And I heard the sound of waves. I don’t recognize it until I point my eyes up front. A few hundred feet in front of me, the sea widely stretched with the waves gently rolling, bringing the salty smell that tickled my memory.
I slowly step out and walk toward the golden-brown sand beach, enjoying the pressure of gravel and grass cuts under my feet. Then a sigh of relief as I felt the gentle warmth of the sun-baked sand slips through my lips. I feel that familiar feeling again, when treading the sand and let the ripple of waves wipe off my leg. I feel beat by beat beating softly inside my chest, makes me happy and relieved. The feeling of being at home. I breathe the air deeply, close my eyes and look up to the sky to the afternoon sun. Makes me want to spread my hands off and lost in peace. I do it of course.
****
I walk along the quiet streets. The night falls quickly. Wide on the right side of the road that looks deserted, most shops have started closing. Only few places to drink and department stores which still open. But of course in one to two hours ahead everything will be very quiet. Like a ghost town. Although the city is a quite big suburban place, but it will feel like a world war era above 8 pm, when the curfew was still occur. All the doors closed and everyone is at home. Well, at least almost everyone. Maybe except some juveniles who do not feel like at home and prefer to spend a boring night at the deserted street like this.
Then why do I know?
I stop and suddenly thought of it. For a moment I tilted my head, not understand with my own thinking. But I think I’m sure that I did know.
So what? I do not care.
Until I pass a tiny house with a row of mini bonsai peeking out from behind a low concrete fence. The house is lit up with yellow lights. I get attracted and take a peek. Then suddenly the curtain from a window slightly parted, revealing someone’s face who is not clearly visible. I get caught peeking in, but don’t have the urge to run away. I still watch over the window. That person take a wide peek around, seems like looking for something, but not bothered with to my presence who are standing right in front of the fence. No longer after, the person closes the curtains back and vanishes from the window. I just standing quietly for quite a time, staring at the window. I feel a strange longing, makes me feel that I would stand right here all night.
I open my eyes. I find myself somehow falling asleep in front of the small house. I wink at the night sky where the stars looked farther than last night. Those million of stars twinkling, bewitching me again, makes me want to take them and hold them tightly. I raise my hand unconsciously, trying to touch the scattering tiny stars and take a handful. Again, I feel a real pleasure when I close my eyes.
****
This time, I feel seriously weird. How could I suddenly got into this street? Like when I stood at the top of the building or when I was at the beach before.
The road is not too crowded by vehicles and pedestrians. The dusk looks like has just dropped as the sky on the horizon still has a tinge of reddish-orange. I get annoyed when the people who passed me are not troubled with my presence. No one look at me, nudging my shoulder, or tell me to step aside because I block their way. They just ignoring me, and I hate it. For a moment I feel upset, but my attention was quickly diverted by a place near the street.
A red-painted building with large and wide windows which are fulfilling the front side. Then there is a large bouquet of flowers and a few signs of condolences juxtaposed with a poster of a musical performance which looks strange for me. I mean, why people carry out musical performances along with death ceremony? That looks a bit harsh.
But it still caught my attention. I approach the show poster, which sustained by an easel. The poster is large enough, with a picture of someone dressed in a traditional while embracing a guitar. A handsome young man with a fairly white face that looks elegant and dashing at the same time. Is he the performers, or the one who his death is respected by? I wondered until I unconsciously stepped in impudently into the building. I do not have a ticket or invitation or whatever of entry. But no one seems to care with me when I finally in. I begin to get shrouded by dull light from the dim lighting inside. I feel the intense atmosphere which ambushes all of my senses. Peculiar.
People look cheerful, but there is sadness that surrounding the place. I looked at the room decor. As a live concert which held at a theater, there are booths of merchandise and displays. But there are tables which arranged like in a formal restaurant that looks elegant. And the crowd draws my interest out. There is a ladder to the hallway in the second floor which covered by a thick red carpet. And I decided to observe the room’s from upstairs as that place looks more comfortable. I climb the stairs one by one and lost in my feelings, being drift away. I feel very comfortable, as if I’m in the arms of someone I love. Until suddenly people shouts from below, flinch me.
A name continuously mentioned as if this person is hiding somewhere. And somehow I felt a tremendous urge to chime in. Shortly after, a giant slide show appears at one side of the room. Various photographs emerged, showing some beautiful places in different times. An apartment with the night sky in the background, a quiet seaside street, golden-brown sandy beach with calm sea in the background, a train station that is not too large, a street with rows of closed shops on either side, a tiny house with rows of bonsai in the front yard. Those pictures changing successively, and then showing growth phase of someone from his infancy to his adolescence. He’s such a charming man.
And I feel like I've known him.
Oh yes. He’s the man holding a guitar in the poster outside.
Or I thought so until the slideshow stops in the last picture. The picture hits my memory. I think I could recognize the guy in the picture.
No.
Actually, I know for sure.
****
"...Whatever happens, although Isshi was not with us anymore, life will still continue. And I believe that is what Isshi wants. That the world will keep on spinning even though he is no longer exists in that world. The world where we live now. Isshi will stay with us here in our hearts, in our memories. Please feels his eternal presence just like how he would also feels our love towards him until forever.... "
I smile when hearing the words delivered by the host. Yes, I can feel it. I felt love. I do feel their love towards me. Thank you very much.
~***~
cr. pic : http://miyako-kagrrafantr.blogspot.com
Genre : General, Angst, OOC
Song : Feel Me by amber gris
a/n : watch amber gris - Feel Me suddenly reminded me of Isshi. Moreover, before that I saw some pictures from Isshi's commemoration dinner which actually being the night of Shiki-project's live.. A fiction with the touch of facts here and there.
Facts are noted from here : http://kagrra.livejournal.com/516135.html#cutid1
Repost from the Indonesian version
****
I awakened out of my sleep. I can feel the shock and hear the shouts, either of my surroundings or even from my own mouth, I’m not sure. I feel numbness spreading throughout my body and I see a white light glows very brightly, then slowly sucked.
****
I stare at the starry sky that looks very deep, then feels a strange warm feeling for a moment. I don’t know why I’m here. Gusts of cold wind hit me, making me feel giddy. I look down and gasped. I’m standing above the parapet of a high building, somewhere I don’t recognize. But I don’t have any intention to step back, to avoid my self from slipping and falling down. I just feel very sturdy even though my body felt light.
I look at the crowds below. Street lights, car lights and flickering lights from shops which shine dimly. I feel like I could recognize the place down there, but I can’t remember anything. Only the familiar feeling that is tickling.
I unconsciously stepped into the wind then slowly slid down lightly, as if I've always been doing that all the time and very skilled with that sort of thing. After my feet are gently setting on the sidewalk, I feel that way. That I‘m very good with that. Things like flying, floating, and so on. I feel very strong and I love it.
The streets are crowded, but I feel roomy. The people are milling around me. They walk alone, with their couple or in groups. They laughed, talking excitingly and seems to enjoy the night. I walk down the street, look around and still feel familiar with the strange feeling. Like déjà vu. As I have walked and being here very often before.
I don’t know how far I’ve walked when the shops began to disappear, replaced by bridge, park, station, then park again. I don’t feel tired, but suddenly I just want to sit down. My eyes find a row of garden bench. At one of the bench, two girls are seriously looking to something which looks like an Ipad. I heard them saying "Ooh .." and "Aaah .." and "Oh my God! I do not believe this!" out loud.
I sit not so far from them, leaning comfortably on the back of the bench which is painted dark brown. Then I’m staring at the night sky that feels so mysterious for some reasons. Sprinkling of stars are bewitching me, makes me feel like sucked into it. I try to enjoy the feeling and then begin to feel the charm.
I raise my hand, pretending to touch the stars and scoop them into my hand. Very nice. Feels like real. Until the screams of the two girls interrupting my imagination. I look around, see one of them starts sobbing while the other tries to comfort her by patting her shoulder and cheer her up.
"I also sad to hear this, but we should believe that Isshi are rest in peace there. We know Isshi was a very good person and I’m sure that he will get a great place in heaven"
"But still I cannot believe this. Why all of a sudden?! I even have saved the ticket neatly so I wont lost it. Oh my God, this is tragic!"
I watch the two girls begin to cuddle with tears dripping down their face. For a moment I really feel sorry for whoever they are currently crying about. I know what sad is, though I don’t know what thing which ever made me sad. It's just that when I see their tears flowing, I seemed to feel the same. I lean my back into the back of the bench again and close my eyes. For no reason, I suddenly feel very tired.
"I know this time Isshi sees us, and he will realize how much we love him" One of the girl whispers in weak voice, and it makes me smile. Yes. He must be very loved.
****
Once again I feel that I’m being sucked into an unrecognized vortex which makes me feel warm. But my skin starts to eerie, and I closed my eyes trying to eliminate those feelings. When I re-opened my eyes, I stare at my legs dangling from a concrete road barrier. Below is sandy soil with gravel and grass here and there. And I heard the sound of waves. I don’t recognize it until I point my eyes up front. A few hundred feet in front of me, the sea widely stretched with the waves gently rolling, bringing the salty smell that tickled my memory.
I slowly step out and walk toward the golden-brown sand beach, enjoying the pressure of gravel and grass cuts under my feet. Then a sigh of relief as I felt the gentle warmth of the sun-baked sand slips through my lips. I feel that familiar feeling again, when treading the sand and let the ripple of waves wipe off my leg. I feel beat by beat beating softly inside my chest, makes me happy and relieved. The feeling of being at home. I breathe the air deeply, close my eyes and look up to the sky to the afternoon sun. Makes me want to spread my hands off and lost in peace. I do it of course.
****
I walk along the quiet streets. The night falls quickly. Wide on the right side of the road that looks deserted, most shops have started closing. Only few places to drink and department stores which still open. But of course in one to two hours ahead everything will be very quiet. Like a ghost town. Although the city is a quite big suburban place, but it will feel like a world war era above 8 pm, when the curfew was still occur. All the doors closed and everyone is at home. Well, at least almost everyone. Maybe except some juveniles who do not feel like at home and prefer to spend a boring night at the deserted street like this.
Then why do I know?
I stop and suddenly thought of it. For a moment I tilted my head, not understand with my own thinking. But I think I’m sure that I did know.
So what? I do not care.
Until I pass a tiny house with a row of mini bonsai peeking out from behind a low concrete fence. The house is lit up with yellow lights. I get attracted and take a peek. Then suddenly the curtain from a window slightly parted, revealing someone’s face who is not clearly visible. I get caught peeking in, but don’t have the urge to run away. I still watch over the window. That person take a wide peek around, seems like looking for something, but not bothered with to my presence who are standing right in front of the fence. No longer after, the person closes the curtains back and vanishes from the window. I just standing quietly for quite a time, staring at the window. I feel a strange longing, makes me feel that I would stand right here all night.
I open my eyes. I find myself somehow falling asleep in front of the small house. I wink at the night sky where the stars looked farther than last night. Those million of stars twinkling, bewitching me again, makes me want to take them and hold them tightly. I raise my hand unconsciously, trying to touch the scattering tiny stars and take a handful. Again, I feel a real pleasure when I close my eyes.
****
This time, I feel seriously weird. How could I suddenly got into this street? Like when I stood at the top of the building or when I was at the beach before.
The road is not too crowded by vehicles and pedestrians. The dusk looks like has just dropped as the sky on the horizon still has a tinge of reddish-orange. I get annoyed when the people who passed me are not troubled with my presence. No one look at me, nudging my shoulder, or tell me to step aside because I block their way. They just ignoring me, and I hate it. For a moment I feel upset, but my attention was quickly diverted by a place near the street.
A red-painted building with large and wide windows which are fulfilling the front side. Then there is a large bouquet of flowers and a few signs of condolences juxtaposed with a poster of a musical performance which looks strange for me. I mean, why people carry out musical performances along with death ceremony? That looks a bit harsh.
But it still caught my attention. I approach the show poster, which sustained by an easel. The poster is large enough, with a picture of someone dressed in a traditional while embracing a guitar. A handsome young man with a fairly white face that looks elegant and dashing at the same time. Is he the performers, or the one who his death is respected by? I wondered until I unconsciously stepped in impudently into the building. I do not have a ticket or invitation or whatever of entry. But no one seems to care with me when I finally in. I begin to get shrouded by dull light from the dim lighting inside. I feel the intense atmosphere which ambushes all of my senses. Peculiar.
People look cheerful, but there is sadness that surrounding the place. I looked at the room decor. As a live concert which held at a theater, there are booths of merchandise and displays. But there are tables which arranged like in a formal restaurant that looks elegant. And the crowd draws my interest out. There is a ladder to the hallway in the second floor which covered by a thick red carpet. And I decided to observe the room’s from upstairs as that place looks more comfortable. I climb the stairs one by one and lost in my feelings, being drift away. I feel very comfortable, as if I’m in the arms of someone I love. Until suddenly people shouts from below, flinch me.
A name continuously mentioned as if this person is hiding somewhere. And somehow I felt a tremendous urge to chime in. Shortly after, a giant slide show appears at one side of the room. Various photographs emerged, showing some beautiful places in different times. An apartment with the night sky in the background, a quiet seaside street, golden-brown sandy beach with calm sea in the background, a train station that is not too large, a street with rows of closed shops on either side, a tiny house with rows of bonsai in the front yard. Those pictures changing successively, and then showing growth phase of someone from his infancy to his adolescence. He’s such a charming man.
And I feel like I've known him.
Oh yes. He’s the man holding a guitar in the poster outside.
Or I thought so until the slideshow stops in the last picture. The picture hits my memory. I think I could recognize the guy in the picture.
No.
Actually, I know for sure.
****
"...Whatever happens, although Isshi was not with us anymore, life will still continue. And I believe that is what Isshi wants. That the world will keep on spinning even though he is no longer exists in that world. The world where we live now. Isshi will stay with us here in our hearts, in our memories. Please feels his eternal presence just like how he would also feels our love towards him until forever.... "
I smile when hearing the words delivered by the host. Yes, I can feel it. I felt love. I do feel their love towards me. Thank you very much.
~***~
cr. pic : http://miyako-kagrrafantr.blogspot.com