OMG Drama
The croquet party went great. I was clearly in the running for best costume along with Colonel Sanders (pictures to follow). The mint juleps marinated for eight days and were delicious. I won the third croquet match and as well as the team game of Apples to Apples, though apparently I drove the initial judge (and individual responsible for explaining the rules) of that latter game to quit the party altogether. She remained outside (in a dramatic huff) until the last guest (myself) departed.
I make no apologies for my ability to break the will of others. I am a very irritating person; it's part of my charm.
If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
And, no, bitch, "receiving a hug" is not a noun; it's a goddamned phrase.