Masturbatory statistics

[wanton_bliss]

In our home tournaments, I am currently:

• winning 40% of the games I play
  
• up $95 for the year
  
• averaging final two
  
• holding a 17 point lead
  
• tied with A. for having knocked 17 opponents out of play
  
• more than twice as likely to knock A. out of a tournament as he is me
  
• golden