end of the work day malaise
I just finished my allotted tasks (due by Close Of Business). For once, I did not allow hubris to guide me towards taking on further work (even though I have strong suspicions that some of what needs to be done in the next hour is not being touched by anyone). Instead, I had a delightfully provocative AIM conversation. It's nice to have someone else inspire erections from time to time.
And now I am sitting here thinking about Saturday. So, there is this fellow, I shall call him Roger, who responded to my online personal and with whom I have had the occasional, very brief telephone conversation. Our intermittent and remarkably terse confabulation has sufficed for me to build up a certain amount of confidence that I am not going to be attracted to this fellow (based solely on his personality as it shines through both on the phone and in email). Nevertheless, I feel this annoying sense of obligation to actually meet him, otherwise, I would never know.
Unfortunately, this fellow is twenty-one and clearly looking for me to take the role of aggressor. I am supposed to come up with something "dazzling" for us to do on Saturday, which is proving difficult considering I do not even want to meet him in the first place. Roger asked if I have a problem taking off my shirt in public. I, of course, responded no. He then suggested that there were several pools near his place where we could lie about shirtless, in furs, drinking alcohol. I am sure the suggestion was made in jest, but still it gives one a sense for Roger and his affected mannerisms.
So, I am sitting here trying to figure out why I even put myself through this. I have done this before, discerned merely from a phone conversation that I was wholly unattracted to someone and yet still forced myself to attend a tedious and disappointing rendez-vous. I only do it because allows me to maintain the illusion that I am actually trying to have a romantic life.
God. I can not for the life of me think of anything "dazzling" to do on Saturday with "Roger." He also suggested window-shopping.
And now I am sitting here thinking about Saturday. So, there is this fellow, I shall call him Roger, who responded to my online personal and with whom I have had the occasional, very brief telephone conversation. Our intermittent and remarkably terse confabulation has sufficed for me to build up a certain amount of confidence that I am not going to be attracted to this fellow (based solely on his personality as it shines through both on the phone and in email). Nevertheless, I feel this annoying sense of obligation to actually meet him, otherwise, I would never know.
Unfortunately, this fellow is twenty-one and clearly looking for me to take the role of aggressor. I am supposed to come up with something "dazzling" for us to do on Saturday, which is proving difficult considering I do not even want to meet him in the first place. Roger asked if I have a problem taking off my shirt in public. I, of course, responded no. He then suggested that there were several pools near his place where we could lie about shirtless, in furs, drinking alcohol. I am sure the suggestion was made in jest, but still it gives one a sense for Roger and his affected mannerisms.
So, I am sitting here trying to figure out why I even put myself through this. I have done this before, discerned merely from a phone conversation that I was wholly unattracted to someone and yet still forced myself to attend a tedious and disappointing rendez-vous. I only do it because allows me to maintain the illusion that I am actually trying to have a romantic life.
God. I can not for the life of me think of anything "dazzling" to do on Saturday with "Roger." He also suggested window-shopping.