The erotics of incest.
Sitting across the dinner table from my cousin, I made a concerted effort to avert my gaze.
I used to have the rather disconcerting habit of staring directly into people's eyes. Having been raised almost completely oblivious to social etiquette (I spent most of my childhood alone, drawing pictures), I did not realize the impropriety this represented until around junior high. On multiple occasions, I was threatened with physical violence while looking at people in the halls or in the locker room. The threats were born out of the homophobic concern that I must be lustily undressing them with my eyes. Strangely, this was not the case (as I was very much in denial of my sexuality at that point), instead I was merely watching people. My propensity for overanalysis is not limited to myself; I have always been quite fond of watching people's body language and dissecting their every movement (a state of detachment often misinterpreted as an Aura of Disdain). So, I would stand there looking at someone and suddenly find him staring back at me, then threatening my life.
Ironically, it was when I realized that I was a homosexual that I actually put a stop to the staring. Inspired by an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (in which Data explained how he implemented subroutines to produce pseudo-random eye blinking intervals so he might appear more lifelike), I started inserting periodic glances into the distance while conversing with others. At first it seemed very artificial and forced, but eventually it became second nature. After all, I had something to hide.
I think my cousin is a piece of ass. He inherited his stature and decent looks from my uncle. He is tall (a little over six foot) and slim, but well proportioned. Despite the bad skin, his face is quite cute and his dark hair has a rather rakish way of hanging in front of his eyes. I continually averted my eyes from his during dinner because I didn't want him to see the attraction lurking behind my own.
And, oh, did I mention? He's only fourteen years old.
Fuck me! Must I compound incestuous thoughts with pedophilia?!?
I used to have the rather disconcerting habit of staring directly into people's eyes. Having been raised almost completely oblivious to social etiquette (I spent most of my childhood alone, drawing pictures), I did not realize the impropriety this represented until around junior high. On multiple occasions, I was threatened with physical violence while looking at people in the halls or in the locker room. The threats were born out of the homophobic concern that I must be lustily undressing them with my eyes. Strangely, this was not the case (as I was very much in denial of my sexuality at that point), instead I was merely watching people. My propensity for overanalysis is not limited to myself; I have always been quite fond of watching people's body language and dissecting their every movement (a state of detachment often misinterpreted as an Aura of Disdain). So, I would stand there looking at someone and suddenly find him staring back at me, then threatening my life.
Ironically, it was when I realized that I was a homosexual that I actually put a stop to the staring. Inspired by an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (in which Data explained how he implemented subroutines to produce pseudo-random eye blinking intervals so he might appear more lifelike), I started inserting periodic glances into the distance while conversing with others. At first it seemed very artificial and forced, but eventually it became second nature. After all, I had something to hide.
I think my cousin is a piece of ass. He inherited his stature and decent looks from my uncle. He is tall (a little over six foot) and slim, but well proportioned. Despite the bad skin, his face is quite cute and his dark hair has a rather rakish way of hanging in front of his eyes. I continually averted my eyes from his during dinner because I didn't want him to see the attraction lurking behind my own.
And, oh, did I mention? He's only fourteen years old.
Fuck me! Must I compound incestuous thoughts with pedophilia?!?