(no subject)
Yet another doctor's appointment today. Woohoo! It's at either 11:15 or 11:30 with my regular doctor. I'm gonna get the results of the x-ray and bloodwork. I never did go in and do a pee sample, but I'll go in prepared. And I have to show her that the bruises I showed her last time are still there. And that my ear is out of control. I was gonna post a picture but I decided not to. I have to work tomorrow but part of me is tempted to ask her to dump me in the hospital and say its for all the medical problems. I need to get across to her that I'm in excruciating pain, but at the same time I don't want super heavy narcotic painkillers. Well, part of me does, but part of me doesn't. They slow down your system and it's a bitch because my tolerance to them is through the roof, thanks to Mr. Accident-followed-by-2-months-on-the-couch-with-Percoset-and-little-debbie-pound-cakes. But the point I'm making here is that I'm in pain from head to foot and it doesn't fade, it just moves its location. There's only so much pain I can handle before carefully removing my head. Pain is a great way to rid myself of the urge to self-injure, though. Why should I injure myself when I'm already in pain? It's obviously not the big release it claims to be. I just want a comfy inflatable adjustable hospital bed where if I've got pain somewhere I can call a nurse and get heat or ice or something. And I don't need to keep making appointments with doctors because the doctors are at the hospital and they can come see me. Of course, I feel guilty because I'm supposed to work tomorrow and have x-rays on Tuesday, along with bringing Grandma to the doctor. But I have to put my health and sanity first.
...except I don't have any health or sanity...
...except I don't have any health or sanity...