so yea fighting the urge to get the fuck outta dodge or err davis for a few days. I've never wanted to jsut run away more. Like things are good and fine and i think thats when i get scared the most plus there is just too much to do that im sorrta pretending its not there but that will catch up with me next week and it'll be a cluster fuck.
I have money again. Thats nice because for a while I had $2 that were spendable. But I'm still wasting too much money which is why I have quit buying cds. Its really sad and all but its just not a proper use of my money. Neither is a car but our lives are teaching us time is more important than money. I am starting to understand the wisdom and marketing behind that statement.
I am lying to myself a bunch lately because its soothing. But yea im slacking terribly and getting away with it pretty well.
I miss LB but Davis is being nice with the weather at the moment. The second warm weather came in my clothing choices tripled and I get to wear tank tops one at a time as opposed to layering everything I own to stay warm.
I'd sleep less if I was hibernating.
Matt may have convinced himself he's in love with me. That scares me but I guess I need to deal. I see good things for us and am going to be semi-serious. He's great and makes me very happy. The only hesitation I have is he still talks to his ex and even left the room to talk to her while I was there. (rude!) I can't decide if I'm going to let him meet my mom while she's here. First it would be awkward but yea I don't need a question of his life story from her.
I'm trying to wear myself out with tons of work out sessions. I'm up to almost 6 hrs a week. But I totally blew it this last week by giving into all my cravings so I gained the weight all back.
I want to go to a big sweaty concert.
I want to work less. I dont even work that much but I am looking forward to taking time off to hang with my mom. I want to be burned out but I'm simply not pushing myself hard enough. I am getting better though. Starting papers before they're due and stuff like that. (lies)
This next quarter will be tough. And I still can't figure out if I can come home for Summer like even a week of it. It depends how many summer session classes I take. Theres no point in going home for months at a time though cuz I have a place here that I will pay for even if I'm not here. Summer here will suck but I think I will deal.
Jessica is ENGAGED! things like this make me want to gouge my eyes out with a dull spoon. I can't even talk about this really it just...bah... you get the idea.