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[buffyshaped]

There was tension, yep definitely tension. No one seemed all that happy, I for one was nearly miserable. I guess I should have been happy, back in school, soon to be reunited with my friends and loved ones as well as Cordelia. However that offered me little comfort, in fact I was feeling a little scared. What if something went wrong again and I

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[lil_ripper]

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to..." Ah, but in the past I had meant to. When I'd hypnotised her against her will. Just thinking about what I'd done appalled me. To think that I'd followed the Council so blindly, when in my heart I'd known it was a ridiculous ritual. Fraught with unnecessary danger. Well, in the end I'd learnt my lesson, learnt how much more Buffy meant to me than some edict from on high.

I squeezed her shoulder as reassuringly as I could.

"This is about trusting yourself. Your instincts. I won't always be there to guide you." I replied, and moved over to grab two of the quarterstaves from the back wall. I gave one to Buffy and then braced myself with the other.

"First, let's have you defend. Try to sense my movement, use all of your senses." I circled around her as stealthily as I could and finally I moved to strike at her shoulder. She blocked it easily, and countered with a blow to my midsection. I reeled back, a little winded. I should have worn padding for this.

"Good show." I commented, and this time went for her legs. Again she managed to catch me in time, and swept my own legs out from under me. I went down with a resounding ooomph.

[buffyshaped]

Sometimes I think Giles underestimated me, well actually I think he usually did and at the same time never did. It was strange he expected to be the best I could be yet he still treated me as if I had no idea what I was doing.

"Ok so the point of this exercise is to injure you enough so you receive workman’s comp from the Watchers Council?" I asked as I heard Giles hit the floor. "I mean if you think you can get out of being my watcher that easily you have another thing coming. " I reached up and touched my blindfold. "Can I remove this or do you have something else in mind? I know! Maybe we can practice some sword throwing routine and we could go on the road with it. I always wanted to run away and join the circus and now I have this freakish talent I think they might hire me.”

[lil_ripper]

"Ok so the point of this exercise is to injure you enough so you receive workman’s comp from the Watchers Council?"

"Quite a novel idea, Buffy." I croaked, as I struggled to my feet. "I don't know why I never thought of that."

At least she was getting her pep back with regard to her wit, though it did have a slightly more bitter edge to it than I'd remembered.

"Can I remove this or do you have something else in mind? I know! Maybe we can practice some sword throwing routine and we could go on the road with it. I always wanted to run away and join the circus and now I have this freakish talent I think they might hire me.”

I frowned at her mention of running away again. Did she realise just how much worry and heartache she'd put her mother, and dare I say it, myself through? The months of not knowing where she was or if she was even still in the land of the living. I'd been nearly beside myself, trying to find Buffy, and to reassure the council that she had not gone rogue. I'd never told anyone else in Sunnydale that, I'd kept it to myself. But it had been a concern.

A freakish talent, she'd called her gift, her calling. Not that Buffy had had much choice in the matter, admittedly. But surely she understood how wonderful it was to have a purpose in life, a destiny. One that I was required to help guide her through as best I could. I needed to build her confidence and her commitment to being a slayer, and yet my actions during the Cruciamentum had undermined that, and nearly severed the bond and trust we had been developing these past few years.

I turned away and replaced the staves in their holders.

"Yes, yes. You can remove it." I replied, a little distractedly. "It seems yourself and your instincts are on excellent speaking terms at the moment. Perhaps instead we could practice a little hand/eye coordination that doesn't involve robbing me of my last vestiges of dignity."

I smiled and handed her some throwing darts, weightier than the ones found in pubs, but essentially the same. I unveiled three targets at the other end of the room, each spaced apart and at different distances, and each with a crude approximation of a torso marked on them. My drawing skills were sadly lacking, but I thought I'd managed to make one look like a vampire, one a horned demon and one like a winged harpy.

"I'll call out which target to hit, with the progression getting faster as we go. Ready?"

[buffyshaped]

"Yes, yes. You can remove it. It seems yourself and your instincts are on excellent speaking terms at the moment. Perhaps instead we could practice a little hand/eye coordination that doesn't involve robbing me of my last vestiges of dignity."

So I am on excellent speaking terms with my instincts, interesting, especially since I am not on excellent speaking terms with anyone else. I am not on excellent speaking terms with my Mom, friends, or even my Giles. So at least this proved I could be on good speaking terms, so hey, maybe there was hope.

"I'll call out which target to hit, with the progression getting faster as we go. Ready?"

“Gotcha.” I said looking at the rather ugly torso’s. “Wow Giles you went all out didn’t you? I feel special, I think I am the luckiest Slayer ever, well if I had cookies I would be even luckier.” I said and sensed Giles annoyance, but he did not say anything, well he did name the target he wanted me to hit.

I simply obeyed these orders and threw the darts easily making the targets. However he wanted me to go increasingly faster and faster and though I was still making the targets I kept having this nagging fear that I would mess up, that I would mess up, that I would… I heard a crash and winced when I saw the dark bury itself into a wall.

“Sorry.” I said feeling myself tens and turning to Giles. “Can we just stop this here? I am tired and am having a hard time concentrate.” I blurted out just not wanting to play anymore watcher slayer games.

[lil_ripper]

“Wow Giles you went all out didn’t you? I feel special, I think I am the luckiest Slayer ever, well if I had cookies I would be even luckier.”

Buffy's flippant remark seemed a little forced again. I wondered what was really going on inside her head. I concentrated on the drill and called out which target for her to hit, trying to mix it up enough so that she didn't over-anticipate my calls. She did well for quite some time, but then glancing at her I could sense a growing tension, in her shoulders and the expression on her face.

The last dart she let fly completely missed the mark and embedded itself in a nearby wall.

“Sorry. Can we just stop this here? I am tired and am having a hard time concentrate.”

I nodded, and went to retrieve the darts. The one in the wall was in so deep I couldn't budge. That girl had remarkable strength.

"Buffy, you are doing extremely well. You've managed to keep your skills honed despite the recent months' disruptions. Don't be too hard on yourself. We can stop for the day. Take things in small steps."

I want to pat her shoulder, or give her some other sign of reassurance but I refrain from doing so. I don't think she's ready for that, I haven't earned that yet from her.