(no subject)
Two weeks. Told him I would stay here, I would let it go. Two weeks. I'm guessing that's how long this lasts. How long I'll feel this ache, this need, this lie. Why does that hurt so much? Not the love, the lie?
I accepted today that I can't make Bobby still love me. I don't think I realized I was trying to. Or I didn't want to accept that I knew I was doing it. Which isn't the same but almost. Either way, no matter what John Pyro says, I'm not holding my breath. He made it clear. I had been here an hour and... and he made it clear. Maybe I made it clear. I don't know. It's over. I remember the talk. That much I remember. And I remember the tears.
I wish I was done crying over men. But I know this is just the beginning. Logan. Bobby. John. The first in a line, I suppose. Isn't that how being human works. You love, you lose. Endless cycles of pain.
Boy I sound bitter as hell.
Fuck, this is Vegas. I'm going out.
See ya.
I accepted today that I can't make Bobby still love me. I don't think I realized I was trying to. Or I didn't want to accept that I knew I was doing it. Which isn't the same but almost. Either way, no matter what John Pyro says, I'm not holding my breath. He made it clear. I had been here an hour and... and he made it clear. Maybe I made it clear. I don't know. It's over. I remember the talk. That much I remember. And I remember the tears.
I wish I was done crying over men. But I know this is just the beginning. Logan. Bobby. John. The first in a line, I suppose. Isn't that how being human works. You love, you lose. Endless cycles of pain.
Boy I sound bitter as hell.
Fuck, this is Vegas. I'm going out.
See ya.