Bullying
Earlier this school year, I think in the fall, my oldest nephew, who is in 2nd grade was hit in the head with a paper weight thrown by a boy with severe mental problems. The boy was angry at the teacher and the paper weight bounced off her desk; my nephew had to be put on concussion watch. All year, my nephew, who is normally a very bright and well-behaved boy, had been acting up and doing poorly in school. A few months ago, it was revealed that his problems in school were because he was so worried sick about the other boy, so he was moved to another class and his work improved but he was still having behavior problems. This morning, my mom told me about a phone call she had with my brother last night while I was out. Apparently, my nephew has been being bullied by the other boy all year. Since changing classes he's been safe in the classroom, but he was still getting knocked down, kicked and beaten during recess, even though the other boy was supposed to be monitored by a teacher at all times, and that's what was causing the behavior problems. My nephew had now been moved to a different school. My middle nephew, who skipped a grade and is in the gifted program, is doing well where he is, so he's going to finish the year at the old school and then change to the new school next year; even though the old school is trying to keep him because he increased their average test scores by 1% and brought them more funding.
This has all made me think back to when I was in school. I very clearly remember being constantly bullied from 1st grade on; I don't remember being bullied in kindergarten, but I probably was and just wasn't aware of it. I didn't consciously realize it until much later, but on some level I was always aware of the fact that all the bullies wanted was to know they'd hurt me or otherwise get a rise out of me and I refused to give them the satisfaction. No matter what horrible names they called me, or how many times they hit me, I just walked away, usually fighting back tears until I could safely let them out without letting the bullies know they actually had gotten to me. And I never told anyone; not the teachers, not my parents, not my school bus driver, not even the few friends I had when I had friends at all. The only bully anyone was ever aware of was this one black girl who lived on the corner for a few years when we lived on base, I can't remember her name. We were actually fairly close friends for about a year until I found out she was a pathological liar and I stopped hanging out with her because I had no tolerance for lies when I was little. After I stopped hanging out with her, she would always sit directly behind me on the bus home from school and pull my hair the whole trip. I ignored it and her on the bus and until she'd gone inside, then I cried the rest of the walk home. In retrospect, I probably should have told the bus driver, but I was a very independent kid and something inside me always said I should be able to handle my problems myself.
Even to this day, I still have trouble letting myself be vulnerable around people, even the people I love, because of the bullying. I'm 27.5 years old, and because people who I thought were my friends hurt me when I was 6, I'm not comfortable crying in front of anyone. And I honestly never gave a flying fuck if people liked me; I can only imagine how hard this must be on my nephew who takes after my brother in the fact that he needs to be liked by everyone. I've heard people say that society should stop complaining about bullying because it's not that bad and kids need to learn to be tough and stop complaining; it doesn't have the disastrous psychological consequences people are saying it does these days. I'm not a violent person, but when I hear bullshit like that I want to punch the person spouting it off in the nose hard enough to break it, because I was the kind of tough kid they're talking about and I can say for a fact that bullying can have a huge fucking effect.
This has all made me think back to when I was in school. I very clearly remember being constantly bullied from 1st grade on; I don't remember being bullied in kindergarten, but I probably was and just wasn't aware of it. I didn't consciously realize it until much later, but on some level I was always aware of the fact that all the bullies wanted was to know they'd hurt me or otherwise get a rise out of me and I refused to give them the satisfaction. No matter what horrible names they called me, or how many times they hit me, I just walked away, usually fighting back tears until I could safely let them out without letting the bullies know they actually had gotten to me. And I never told anyone; not the teachers, not my parents, not my school bus driver, not even the few friends I had when I had friends at all. The only bully anyone was ever aware of was this one black girl who lived on the corner for a few years when we lived on base, I can't remember her name. We were actually fairly close friends for about a year until I found out she was a pathological liar and I stopped hanging out with her because I had no tolerance for lies when I was little. After I stopped hanging out with her, she would always sit directly behind me on the bus home from school and pull my hair the whole trip. I ignored it and her on the bus and until she'd gone inside, then I cried the rest of the walk home. In retrospect, I probably should have told the bus driver, but I was a very independent kid and something inside me always said I should be able to handle my problems myself.
Even to this day, I still have trouble letting myself be vulnerable around people, even the people I love, because of the bullying. I'm 27.5 years old, and because people who I thought were my friends hurt me when I was 6, I'm not comfortable crying in front of anyone. And I honestly never gave a flying fuck if people liked me; I can only imagine how hard this must be on my nephew who takes after my brother in the fact that he needs to be liked by everyone. I've heard people say that society should stop complaining about bullying because it's not that bad and kids need to learn to be tough and stop complaining; it doesn't have the disastrous psychological consequences people are saying it does these days. I'm not a violent person, but when I hear bullshit like that I want to punch the person spouting it off in the nose hard enough to break it, because I was the kind of tough kid they're talking about and I can say for a fact that bullying can have a huge fucking effect.