been a while...
yeah, well it's been a while since i posted here. i actually thought i would never do it again because frankly, i was only writing about my saddness and anger and there were only 2-3 people who even seemed like they cared. now, seems in the past year those few people have slipped out of my life. one because i guess i was mearly a friend when needed. the other because life has filled him with great things that occupy his life and he doesn't need me either. it saddens me. truely it does. but what can i do. i have tried to talk to my 'friends' but the conversation have been stale. i no longer have the energy or fight within me to try to reignite the friendship. sorry.
so tomorrow brings me to posting right now. another year has gone by ...another year my brother can not blow out the candles on his birthday cake. another year i have let go by and haven't seeked the revenge i promised my brother.... a fitting birthday present. but have no worries my brother, i will do it. all in good time. i promised you and i will keep it.
i feel like you have been giving me signs like crazy lately mostly through music...of course :-) i can't believe it has all been coincidence....and fuck it...it feels better thinking it really is you. so i'll go with that. tomorrow is your b-day. another day i'll go to the cemetary sit on your grave and greive for my brother mark...mr. madikus... for everyone else in this world, it will be just another day. for me....a bit more of my life will leave my soul.
i don't know why i write in here except, well journaling is kind of therapuetic. and i feel like i am talking to you.
i miss you more than i can express. life changed forever when i got that call.....
I HATE HOW PEOPLE LEAVE YOUR LIFE...FOR WHATEVER REASON OR CIRCUMSTANCE.....my heart is broken.
so tomorrow brings me to posting right now. another year has gone by ...another year my brother can not blow out the candles on his birthday cake. another year i have let go by and haven't seeked the revenge i promised my brother.... a fitting birthday present. but have no worries my brother, i will do it. all in good time. i promised you and i will keep it.
i feel like you have been giving me signs like crazy lately mostly through music...of course :-) i can't believe it has all been coincidence....and fuck it...it feels better thinking it really is you. so i'll go with that. tomorrow is your b-day. another day i'll go to the cemetary sit on your grave and greive for my brother mark...mr. madikus... for everyone else in this world, it will be just another day. for me....a bit more of my life will leave my soul.
i don't know why i write in here except, well journaling is kind of therapuetic. and i feel like i am talking to you.
i miss you more than i can express. life changed forever when i got that call.....
I HATE HOW PEOPLE LEAVE YOUR LIFE...FOR WHATEVER REASON OR CIRCUMSTANCE.....my heart is broken.